An open letter to the student body of my school. (very long)

To the student populace (minus three or four select persons):

Fuck you. Shut the fuck up, mind your own damn business, and go read a fucking newspaper. Maybe you’ll learn something. Or maybe you’re to fucking stupid, and your head will explode. No loss, either way.

Yes, I am bi. There, I said it, you can stop whispering and pointing now. I’m bisexual. I honestly don’t care what the hell you think, I don’t care what your pastor or priest or minister or rabbi says, I don’t care what you think the bible says, I don’t care if you think bisexuality isn’t real and I’m really a lesbian. I’m NOT, and I think that I’m perfectly capable of judging who I’m attracted to.

No, I didn’t mean for the entire student body to find out, but someone who I thought was trustworthy wasn’t. Shit happens. I’ve dealt with your ignorance in reality for two and a half years now, I can deal with this. My sexuality doesn’t concern you in the least - I’m sure as HELL not attracted to you, regardless of gender. I really don’t give a damn what you think of me now, keep it to yourself. But the next time I hear any of you describe something unpleasant, stupid, undesirable, or so on, as ‘gay’, or call someone gay just to insult them, I’ll hit you. I swear. Gay means either happy and joyous; carefree, or homosexual. It does NOT mean ‘stupid’. Oh, your math teacher is so gay? Because you failed the test you didn’t study for? Really, that’s why they’re married but everyone in the school knows they’re flirting like all hell with that new spanish teacher, right? Of course. Avoid me if you want - hell, I’ll be happier that way, it seems. I know who my friends are: they’re the ones who didn’t find out my ‘deep dark secret’ and either laugh or get creeped out. THey’re the ones who shrugged, said “okay,” and asked me if we had any spanish homework.

I’m not religious, so I don’t give a shit if you tell me I’m going to hell. I truly don’t. We can solve this pretty easily - you shut up and stop acting like I’m a fucking virus, and I’ll go back to ignoring you instead of writing down EVERY insult, EVERY slur, taunt, and trhreat. The principal and a lot of teachers are with me on this one, guys. I don’t want to get you in trouble, I want you to shut up. Realizing that being of an alternate sexuality isn’t a horrible disease would be nice, and realizing that there are more than 2 of us ‘queers’ at school, but that might be a bit much for your small minds to comprehend. So can we just compromise? Fuck off. I won’t get you suspended, you won’t bother me, we can all go back to our lives, alright? I think it works out pretty simply.

Rule #1: never piss off a ninja. :slight_smile:

Hang in there. Eventually you’ll graduate and go to college, where cool gay people are plentiful and cool straight people are plentiful and idiots like your high school classmates are, well, also plentiful, but much more easily avoided.

[poor taste]
A bisexual ninja… I sense a porn movie plot coming on.
[/poor taste]

On a more serious note, yes, it sucks terribly that you’ll be getting the whispering and the pointing and a cold shoulder or heated rant from certain religious folk, but you must consider- open bisexuals (willingly open or not) aren’t exactly common in a high school, and may even be a unique occurrence based upon your area. You are different, strange, possibly even alluring- and thus you are gossip. Sucks, but that’s life. Ignore them, and soon your sexuality will be replaced by how much of a drunken slut the president of S.A.D.D. will have acted like at a party, or something similar.

Oh, and do you really study ninjitsu or another martial art? If so, I’d be happy to spar with you the next time I pass through Jersey. :wink:

I feel for you. I didn’t discover (or acknowledge) my bisexuality until after college, and it’s still not something I openly discuss with people. Still, it’s part of what makes me who I am and I’m proud of it. It’s a misunderstood thing, especially when you tell people that you’re a monogamous bisexual - because monogamy and bisexuality aren’t supposed to go hand-in-hand. Luckily, I have a boyfriend who completely understands my attractions to and experiences with other women, and knows that it’s just me (and I kind of like having a boyfriend who doesn’t mind when I point out hot women). It’s taken me a few years to accept it myself, but now I just consider it another part of my personality.

High school sucks no matter who you are - and being bi isn’t easy in the best of situations. But if you want to know the truth, you are more than likely not the only bisexual floating around the halls of that school - you’re the only one who’s admitted it. Screw the dissenters and just be yourself. It’ll be tough, but it sounds like you’ve got the backbone to do it.


Ninja, I’m not trying to excuse the childish behavior of your student populace at all, but you have to remember they behave childishly because they’re, umm, children. I know a ton of people (including myself) who used to refer to all things negative as “gay” at some point. Are we evil homophobes? Not really, but we were in junior high and didn’t really know any better. I know it grates on your nerves, but they’re really just kids. An adult carrying on this way is an ass, but a child carrying on this way… is still an ass, but is young and has plenty of time to grow up.

Oh NinjaChick, you must be mistaken. No one ever makes fun of lesbians and bisexual women or gives them a hard time. People are always telling me so. Not just in real life, but on the SDMB! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen people post about how accepting our culture is of non-heterosexual women. Bisexual women especially are treated like celebrities! So you must be wrong.

And I must be wrong too, because I remember my middle and high school experiences as a mere suspected non-heterosexual girl (I wasn’t out) as being pretty wretched. So I can sympathize with you, and respect you for your courage and willingness to fight the good fight. It’s tough, but hang in there and you’ll make it through okay. Life in college or the “real world” is generally much better.

Lamia: Cite? Have people been saying that no one makes fun of lesbians within linkshot?

NinjaChick, like Gaijin suggested, try your best to ignore the twelve year old gossiping retards. Sooner or later a brightly colored balloon will float by and distract them. Continue to not display your rage in public, hopefully it will all blow over. And your rant wasn’t that long. :slight_smile:

Hey NinjaChick, I echo Giraffe’s point. Hang in there, and you’ll get to the Promised Land that is college. My sister had basically the same experience, although she was twice as shunned because she hung out only with the drama kids. (Not the most popular group in her high school, and let’s leave it at that.) But she’s enjoying her experiences in college so much more, because there are a lot of supportive people, both gay and straight, not to mention the organizations. I can basically say the same thing exists here at my university; although I"m not gay, I found it really, really cool that the university strongly supported National Coming Out Day, and even postponed a Blood Drive because of it. (They felt that holding a Blood Drive on Coming Out Day was a conflict of interest and detrimental to both. Compare this to my old high school, who were uncomfortable with honest, straightforward sex education and had a very ‘uncomfortable’ relationship with the only gay support group on campus.)

And, the best part of it is, you can come home from your university and run into those same ignorant, childish fuckwickets while they’re working at McDonalds! :slight_smile:

“No one ever makes fun of lesbians” is an extreme example and not expressed often, but “Lesbian and bisexual women are well-accepted in our culture” is pretty common both on the SDMB (just keep an eye on threads on homosexuality and you’ll soon see what I mean) and out in the offline world. Common enough that I figured NinjaChick had probably seen or heard such things somewhere before and been ticked off by them, and if so I wanted to let her know she wasn’t the only one. If not I’d look a little weird, but it wouldn’t be the first time.

But I don’t want to distract too much from the OP. The point is, lots of lesbian and bisexual women have a rough time of it, especially when they’re young. It sucks, and I sympathize. And I think NinjaChick sounds like one tough cookie.

Vicious, sassy, untameable Queer girls who don’t take any shit are so cool, especially ones in high school. I wasn’t out in h.s. (yes, folks, I know it comes as a shock) and I just think it’s great.

Bon courage to you. It doesn’t seem like it, but it will get better from here on out.

Maybe might be of some help…

Matt, my friend, if you come back to this thread, would you be so kind as to post the link to the online support group that Andygirl works with? I would, but I don’t happen to know it.

And Ninjachick, here’s one 54-year-old happily married Christian man who is not particularly interested in telling you how sinful you are, but in seeing what if anything he can do to help you deal with what you’ll inevitably end up going through until June. And who would like permission to link to this thread as evidence of what it’s like to be a teenager who’s just come out or just been outed – there are a few people that I think ought to read it.

I could have written the OP myself, last year, but luckily my case was confined to the insular theater community of my school and quickly ran out of steam.

A few responses to stupid people commenting on bisexuality:
“Well, it really means that I get to have twice as much sex as you ever will.”
“Doesn’t change the fact that I wouldn’t sleep with you if you were the last (boy/girl) on earth.”
“Fuck off before I snap off your jawbone and castrate you with your own teeth.”

(Okay, maybe I didn’t use the last one so much.) Hang in there, you sassy Ninja. It’ll blow over sooner or later, and you’ll go to college. Big hugs from me to you. (Aw, that got them talking all over again.)

One last thing… if people get biblical on your ass, get biblical right back at them. Read the passages, have the quotes, and have some snazzy facts and figures to smack 'em down with.

Another straight Christian checking in. To those trying to pass themselves off as Christian while giving you a hard time, you could make a comment about how they’re a fine example of “love your neighbor as yourself”, but from what I remember of high school, they’d probably warp that beyond belief. Instead, I suggest a comment along the lines of, “Oh, then it’s OK to break Christ’s second commandment?” That may stymie them for a few minutes. That or there’s a button I have you might want to get. It reads, “The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals and 326 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn’t mean God doesn’t love heterosexuals – He just thinks they need more supervision.”

For the general purpose idiots who make passes at you, I suggest the line, “Sorry. I don’t date outside my species.”

Your high school sounds a lot like mine, and you have my sympathies. My own experience is over in Polycarp’s thread over in GD. Who you like, who you love, who you’d even like to spend a good half hour rolling in the proverbial hay with is your business not theirs, and, at least in my case, anyone who makes rude remarks about such things to me or anyone within my hearing has just ruined his or her chance of me ever wanting to do so much as shake his or her hand, let alone do more interesting things.

High school does not last forever, thank whoever you fee like thanking! I’d tell you college is better, but you’ve heard that and sometimes it looks like it’s a long way off. Take care, good luck, and e-mail me if you need me.

Oh yes, nolite bastardes carborundum! Don’t let the bastards get you down!


I’ve seen that quote before – good stuff. :slight_smile: Does anyone know who originally said it? I’m pretty sure it was a famous gay comedian, but apparently no one famous enough for the name to stick in my head!

Not that I give a rat’s arse about what anyone does with their genitals, but I simply can’t stand idly by while the Language Nazis start invading England…

You know, you’d probably have a lot less trouble at your campus if you took your own advice. The “I’m a tough GRRRRRRL and nobody better mess with me or I’ll kick their ass!” front could be quite irritating in real life.

Oooer! Guten Morgen, Fraulein! Welcome to the flexible world of the English language!

“Gay” never meant “homosexual” until people started using it as such (as an insult, incidentally). In a similar vein, once people started using “gay” in place of “dumb and annoying,” it immediately took on that definition.

Thinking otherwise is really, really “lame.” (oh no I didn’t know you only had one leg please stop hitting me with your crutch ouch ouch ouch)

Sweet Jeebus! Surely you aren’t such a sycophantic snitch that you’re reporting everyone you hear saying “gay,” are you? Are you just turning in people that run up to you and scream in your face, “I HATE YOU, YOU FILTHY QUEER!” or are you telling on everyone you overhear in the cafeteria saying “Man, that test was totally gay”?

If the latter, you’d have kicked out 90% of my graduating class.

NinjaChick, more of what Poly said. I was rather frightened to tell my father I was bisexual (almost two years ago now, I think, or maybe a bit more) because I thought that he, being a more devout christian than my mother is (he’s a monk, FTR), would ahve some inherent problem with non-hetness. I actually told my mother because I was pretty sure she would have a problem with it and I thought it’d be a good opportunity to tell her how full of shit she was regarding what I thought her response would be.

Oh How Wrong I Was. I could have passed a brick telling both of them, it was so nerve-wracking.

I wasn’t out in high school either, but that’s because I didn’t figure out I was bi (didn’t really know what being bi was, and I didn’t have much more of a clue about being gay) until my freshman year of college. Had I figured it out in high school … oh wow. Let’s not even get into that set of hypotheticals given what a raging homophobe I was back then.

I am absolutely elated to see the administration of your school is behind you on this.

Now onto the caveat. Hitting them gives them more reason to give you shit. Plus they may try to corner you, three or four (or fifteen) of them, and unless you’re a real-live ninja you might not be able to fight your way out of that. I’d seriously offer to drive up there myself and help you end the problem, but I have a fiancee to think of.

Have you considered using “straight” as an insult? I’ve actually gone that route against people who were being particularly obnoxious. If nothing else, it helped to amuse me in the face of jackassery.

NinjaChick, if you’d like a hug from a mom-type person, here’s a big one:


If you’d rather I keep my cotton-picking mitts to myself, okay, I won’t hug you. I don’t know you at all, so I don’t know what you want – other than support, I’m guessing.

So here’s some support from yet another straight Christian. supportNinjaChicksupport

Or maybe it goes like this: ///////NinjaChick\\\\ Like a lean-to. Or something.

Anyway, I have watched my son iampunha in his coming-out journey, and he is turning out great. You will emerge from this, too, and you will be stronger and feistier than ever. More power to you!

I should mention here that my mother, well-meaning as she is, posts about as often as I don’t, so she saves up allllllllllll her posting vibes and then saturates a post/thread/forum with 'em.

Other than that, “supportNinjachicksupport” looks like one of those things where the words are arranged to say something different, like friendjustfriend (“just between friends”):smiley:

Just posting to let you know that there really is a heterosexual highschool student who will accept and be friends with people of different sexualities. I don’t care what sexuality people are; I don’t think it’s really any of my business. I get along just fine with them, and it really doesn’t bother me. I know I’m the exception to the rule in highschool, but I just wanted to point out that we aren’t all ignorant.