I used to work with a guy named “Stewart” and whose last name started with “Hit…”
They decided in his case to make an exception about company e-mail addresses being “first initial + last name”. Good thing, too.

Charles Litoris.

Paul Udenda.

Virgil Agina.

Oh, I could go on for hours… but I won’t.

In the same vein, I used to work with a Senior Airman when I was in the military. Her name? Andrea Nuss.

And yes, we did give her crap about it. :smiley:


Kind of along this line…

Where I work, they write your name on the schedule as your full first name and the last three letters of your last name. For example, I’m Amy Eri.

Poor Nicole Pool. I cracked up every time I saw her name on the schedule. Too bad she quit :(.

Michael Otherfucker.

For some reason, this one really got to me. :smiley:

If my parents had gone with the name they wanted for me and I happened to work for that company, I’d hope they make an exception for my username of aweiner.

Clark Ondem
Anne Ids
Homer Omosexual
Phillip Hillatio

Geoffrey Oatfelcher

The funniest part was that some of my teachers started calling me “Stoner” in class. People had been calling me “Stoner” since before I even knew what it meant(kinda comes with that last name), so it didn’t phase me, but imagine what the people who weren’t in on the joke must have thought?

Charles Untface.

I was able to head off my employer from using first initial last name but not the cable company.

One of my email addresses is

A company where I worked (name started with All…) had a naming convention that rendered David Turner as ALLTURD. He was proud of it. One day he had a problem with his luserid and we were discussing how to fix it. My manager called me into his office and counselled me on using offensive language.

So what would your company do if they hire on a Richard Oot?

When I was in the Navy, there was a girl in my company who’d married someone named Blow. Her first name and middle initial were Michelle E.

Guess what her uniforms said? :smiley:


I went to school with a true, honest to god Anita Dick. Dick is a very common last name in my area.

As if the name Anita Dick wasn’t bad enough, her school card read, of course: A Dick. In elementary school, people laughed harder at her cousin Pam, P Dick. Or later, in high school, when another family member arrived: Brenna Dick. Because there was another B Dick around, she had to use her middle initial: B. A. Dick.

Poor kids.

(All first names except Anita have been changed, except for the initials. Not likely that you’d find anything besides porn if you tried to find their real names, but still. As for Anita, good friggin’ luck).

When I greaw up in Quebec, we had province-wide tests in the last 2 years of high school, call “Matrics.” Every student was assigned a code, starting with the first 3 letters of your last name, followed by the first letter of your first name, then birthdate, etc. I was stuck with “Rubs” on all my tests and correspondance from the government, but I still considered myself lucky. There was a guy a couple of years ahead of me named Kenny Fuches…

One of the guys at work was taking around a new employee, to introduce him to everyone. He got to one woman’s desk, paused, shook his head and said, “Guys, I’m not lying to you, here. Ken Allcock, I’d like you to meet Sharon Swallowell.”

I don’t personally know the individual involved at this story, nor do I remember the company name - let’s call it Acme Corp. The convension was first letter of first name, follwed by last name. The guy was Harry Ellis. His e-mail address, which may or may not have expressed his opinion, was

Some of these email addresses must be so traumatic to their owners that they may need to consult their analyst and therapist.

We should do whatever we possibly can to get them together. The general worldwide mirth generated from the wedding announcement alone would easily counteract the negative aspects of a few small wars.

These all pale in comparison to my only encounter with a corporate naming scheme. It was firstname lastinitial, but when Christopher Tucker started working there, it was determined that it wasn’t a good idea to have a user name christ.

We actually have a here at my work. I figure they must’ve already had a christophert but still. What were they thinking?

The president of EWC, a company I used to work for (the magnetics division that employed me was closed down, but the controls division still runs) is named Christ. I kid you not, his name is actually Christ Hiotis. Heh. Nice guy, yes, but not exactly divine. :wink: