Mating rituals don’t have to make sense. In fact, maybe it’s better if they don’t.
I agree that it would be better for EVERYONE if women could politely say “no thanks, not interested in you that way” and the men could say “OK” and go ask another woman. However, you’re going up against all kinds of socialization that has led up to this behavior, and this socialization has been going on for quite some time.
When I was growing up, I was taught to never refuse a boy outright, unless, of course, he was the wrong color, the wrong religion, or just from the wrong side of the tracks. I was taught to smile and demur, and say that I’d think about it. The idea was that I might need a backup boyfriend. I was also taught that I should never, EVER ask a boy for a date. The very most I could do was invite him over to dinner at my house. I was taught to never even offer to pay for any entertainment.
I think that things are getting better, but it does take time.
I’m hoping I’m wrong, but I think Husband and I are going to have to have a long talk.
See, therapy is only for crazy people. Or situationally depressed people. Or something. This has been his position for a while: it’s fine if Daughter and I go, but he’s not crazy, so he doesn’t need to go.
Then we had this big, emotional mess with Daughter last summer, and back in November he realized he wasn’t over it, and maybe he should “talk to someone”. Ok, I got him a couple names. About two weeks ago, he and I had a fight about related stuff, and he called one of the therapists. Got an appointment for today, at noon.
I woke him up, sent him on his merry way and started doing some planning that he’d asked me to do. When I was done with that, I glanced at Facebook. On Facebook I see a status from him, “35 minutes ago” (which would be about 12:20), checking in at Outback Steakhouse.
What the fuckity-fuck??? Look, Husband, if you changed your mind about seeing a therapist, I can’t make you go. But don’t lie to me, say you’re going, and then be so stupid on Facebook. Did you think I’d miss it? Are you fucking with me to see if I’m looking at Facebook? What the Fuck?
Oh, my mini-rant from yesterday - am I confused, or does it take a particularly stupid person to not realize that you can’t tie your dog up in the front yard so that they can access the whole sidewalk in front of your house, as well as make it out onto the road? I walk down that sidewalk all the time, so I made my very first call to bylaw services. They called back later to let me know that yes, it was good that the dog was tied up and more-or-less supervised, but no, you can’t tie them up so they have access to public areas like that. They had a chat with the owners, and they (theoretically) won’t be doing that again.
I was wrong. See, he couldn’t “check in” at the therapist’s office because it wasn’t an option. So, he decided to be silly and “check in” at Outback. I discovered this when he called to see if Daughter & I wanted to join him for lunch at a favorite restaurant because he was starving. ::sheepish::
I’m making a serious attempt to not bitch about specific things with my job.
But I’ve just come home shaking in frustration and exhaustion from being kept 1.5 hours later than my usual quitting time by one bad customer.
I suppose I could say “hey, 1.5 hours of free OT”, but right now my blood pressure is too high and I’m going to need hours to destress. It isn’t anger. I’m not angry, I’m not ranting about him in my head. I’m just physically and mentally messed up from the hard work of dealing with someone like that while maintaining a pleasant demeanor. Good thing it was at the end of the day.
(Yes, he hung up at the end thanking me.)
Then I’m driving home and my sister calls and tells me she’s giving me her “old” 40" flatscreen HDTV. To replace the monstrously large and heavy year 2000 built old fashioned but still working like a champ 48" TV that I got from my other sister a couple of years ago.
So woot! for that!
Oh, and I find out my test results Monday morning.
Thank goodness its the weekend. You can sleep and recover because you cannot take time off right now. Remember to eat if you can. Soup is always good.
I’m sorry if I sounded snarky. I’m the one worried about MRSA, so I projected. I’ll try to not do it again. I’ve been Lolli’s minion for over 10 years. I’ve followed her lead happily, but I’m not going to follow her across the Bridge. Not now, at least.
Please do let us know. We do care.
My rant…I managed to stuff my swollen foot into a proper riding boot for the service.
When it was time for people to share memories, I couldn’t speak.
I just couldn’t.
I feel like such an ass because the last time I saw Lolli was on the Friday before she went critical. She talked to me about how much she loved her son and about how blessed she felt for all of her friends. If I could have only stood up in that crowded church and shared, it would have comforted so many people. Fuck me to tears, I thought I was a better friend than that.
And…I now have open sores on my foot because my boot was too tight and I got blisters.
Maybe being able to share that would have comforted some people, and maybe it would have sent some people right over the edge. My sibs and I have found that we can only talk about Daddy in very general terms right now. If we get too specific, one or both of us will end up sobbing. Yes, even my brother. You did what you could.
And it’s time to take care of yourself. Don’t try to push yourself too hard and too fast, or you will end up with worse than blisters and open wounds. I know that you hate to take things slow and easy, but if you go too fast, if you push too hard, you will suffer a relapse, and then you’ll be worse than when you started. TRUST me on this. Let yourself recover, rather than pushing yourself into a crisis.
I second this. Take as long as you think you need, then take a bit longer - this is a lesson it took me a long time to learn. I try to do too much, too soon, and it takes longer to recover that way.
Last night for some odd reason my wireless router stops working. I think one of the kids did something, but of course no one will admit anything. I’m on the phone with a customer service rep from Netgear and he has me do a bunch of things, including deleting a bunch of stuff. Then he says he has to transfer me to a technician that can do the next step.
The next “technician” was a lady that told me if I wanted to continue with the service call, it would be $40. WHAT? So I just erased everything and now it’s $40 to get it back!? Ridiculous. I asked to speak to a supervisor who told me the same thing. I told him that I could go to WalMart right now and buy a new router cheaper than that. Which I did.
I was so pissed at the Netgear people I had no problem spending $25 on my new Cisco router. Also, this all went down after work around 2am. There are some weirdos at WalMart at 2am.
I’m not so sure whether I’m pissed or disappointed in both myself and my BIL. I’m an aunt today (YAY!). Unfortunately, when they called to tell me the news, I was passed out in a I’ve-been-up-all-night-vomiting induced coma, so I didn’t answer the phone or any texts. I didn’t think to check until I stumbled out of the bedroom at 1 p.m., only to find a few really ticked-off text messages from my BIL about how horrible and selfish I am for not answering.
On the one hand, I have a bad habit of not answering the phone if it’s him. It makes him mad, but at the same time, he always keeps me or my husband on the phone forever and I don’t generally have the time to listen to him because I have two children and he typically calls around bedtime or mealtimes when I’ve really got my hands full.
On the other, my sister’s due date was yesterday, so it wasn’t exactly unexpected that maybe, just maybe she’d have a baby. Still, goddamn it, I had my head in the toilet vomiting all night. My husband took the kids out so I could sleep, and apparently I did. I didn’t not answer my phone maliciously. Like I said, I knew she was due. I would’ve answered the phone in a heartbeat this time because I knew she was close and uncomfortable. Fuck.
Still, I’m beyond happy to be an aunt for the first time. And I stopped barfing, so that’s good, too.
Glad to see this…I’m in the market for a new router. I bought a Belkin router yesterday, and it’s going back…I don’t care what the side of the box says, it is definitely NOT MacBook compatible. I had originally ruled out Cisco/Linksys because my previous Linksys wireless router only lasted 5 years. Based on my latest research, apparently this is a long life for a router. Hmm.
Should be. Change the security to WPA/WPA2 and the Channel to something in the 2-12 range. Apple products don’t tend to like WEP or the higher end channels. This is even more true of iPads and iPod Touches.
In Spain, Christmas gifts are usually given on the Epiphany or its eve; Littlebro had dinner and an exchange of 1€ gifts with friends on the 5th.
When they were setting the table, one of them, a long-separated cop I’m going to call Al, got a call from his grownup son who was having a similar party in another town. “Dad, I was just off the phone with Gramps and he was such a mess I’m not sure what’s going on but I think Grandma has taken sick, can you go check?” Al went to check and met the ambulance - it wasn’t even a DOA, it was a “call the judge for permission to move the corpse”. She had a history of heart illness, was in her 80s and had spent several days hospitalized just last month, but it blindsided her husband and only son completely.
The 6th is a holiday; funeral on the 7th; the locally-traditional 3 daily Masses following the funeral were therefore the 8th to 10th. Littlebro went to Mass with Al and Al’s girlfriend on Sunday; he called Mom to let her know he might be late, we told him not to worry and since there’s little kids we’d start without him (we usually have lunch at her place on Sundays).
He called again when we were starting on dessert. He was about to drive Al’s gf to Saragossa, the nearest large town: she’d just gotten a call her father had died, and was heading back home to Moldova…
Life, could you kindly stop shitting on that family? Seriously!
Another possibility - my wife’s work-provided MacBook Pro wouldn’t connect to our home wireless. After some googling around, I set the DNS to Google’s own - 8.8.8.8 and 8.8.8.4, and it worked fine. It just didn’t want to work with our ISP provided DNS service, apparently.
Pram Rage strikes again! Hey old man, you see this narrow tarmac lane that I was standing in with my buggy, waiting to cross the road? It’s not actually a driveway or a road, it’s the pedestrian only path into the (no vehicles) public park. So why did you slow down, pull past me, then start reversing into it? Arsehole.
(I kept waiting for him to realise his mistake, but no, him and his hag of a wife *parked *there. Blocking the whole path.)
And a bonus stay-at-home-mother rant: I go to a twice a week Mums&Toddlers playgroup and quite like it. Last month I got a nice email from ‘Mary’ saying the AGM was coming up and they were looking for new commitee members. Oooo, thinks I, could be interesting, and puts it in the calendar.
Last week, I get an email reminder from Mary, that again, it’s coming up and they’d love to see new faces. Okay, thinks I, and actually put it in the new 2012 planner that I’m using.
Last night - get a massive guilt trip email from ‘Irene’ saying that so many commitee members are leaving and if we don’t go along tonight and sign up, they’ll be cancelling the Thursday playgroup. Repeating this point about three times in one paragraph.
Oh well, what a shame. I’ve started looking for a new Thursday playgroup - I don’t like being threatened and bullied into something. Even if I had been thinking about doing it voluntarily, the strong-arm technique has thoroughly pissed me off enough to put me off!
