…I don’t think she wants your sympathy, so I think you are in the clear.
If I’m not mistaken, I believe she also found “star fishing” kind of degrading, though to be honest, it’s not all that uncommon in many otherwise healthy relationships.
You should not post before breakfast 
It was food for thought though, and quite well put.
Just as people should not get an automatic pass for having been on the “right”/“our” side previously, neither should anyone be dismissed for having been in the opposite situation. And that’s without even going into power/privilege issues.
And really, people may have reservations about *how *a person tells her story told but that should be secondary to what is the story being told.
But where are the solid reasons she is being honest? That’s not accusing her of anything, and certainly not said in a blaming way.
But the fact of the matter is, in this and similar cases, no one knows what the truth is. So why side with anyone, unless objective facts come to light?
I’m all for openness, and people of any gender not having to put up with abuse, but the pendulum has very quickly swung too far the last while.
It is difficult to find the truth. I believe that Mrs. Plant (v.2.0) was a mean woman who racked up $30,000.00 in my debt and lied to the Judge, and she believes that I am a cheap drunkard.
Because she gains nothing, and risks losing a huge amount, by speaking out. In our society, victims and survivors who accuse prominent men almost always suffer for it, and virtually never have their careers improved by it.
All that I’m saying is that it’s wrong to attack her, or imply that she’s not being honest, when there’s no good reason to believe so. You don’t have to believe her, you don’t have to believe anything – just please don’t attack her. There’s no reason to believe that she’s done anything wrong at all.
How about not making this about you and your issues? It’s kinda gross that you’re using someone else’s story to get in shots about another woman. This isn’t about you and it’s not about your ex.
Making a false accusation would be “doing something wrong.” If she has nothing to substantiate her claim against this “anonymous” person from her past, then she shouldn’t be making a claim. It’s someone’s livelihood she’s playing with, and if it turns out she’s not being truthful, no amount of sorry’s will make AMC unfire Chris Hardwick. That’s what I’m saying, and that is in no way an attack on Ms. Dykstra.
What is the context of Dykstra saying she knows Deen isn’t that kind of person? Did she freely volunteer that? Did someone press her to comment on him? Did she only say it once?
It seems to me third party people were not in the position of being a prime enabler deserve to be treated in a way they can safely feel it’s understood they’re non-obligated to weigh in, at least in cases where there aren’t numerous accusers or some other palpable red flag. Deen does seem to have red flags; I can potentially be somewhat excusing here if she’s commenting more as a co-worker than a close friend because the systematic abuses starting from the top and problematic people are so rife in that industry. Some of it depends on how she would have said it.
Wil Wheaton apparently is a close friend of Hardwick’s and there seems to be an expectation of him addressing this publicly soon. I’m a bit put off by assumptions that he would be in the position to be an enabler and he is under an obligation, like it’s a game of tug of war and it’s his turn to choose sides. It could very well be true he was a hypocritical enabler or was close enough to have suspected some things. I think it can be very complex determining whether someone has been an enabler. One of the things I don’t like about public opinion moving too fast on these things is it’s important to remember many abusers have enablers, and if some charge forward demanding someone like Wheaton validate the ex’s experience, they are skipping past thinking carefully whether that is fair and what are the symptoms that make someone part of the problem.
You’re bringing up the possibility of false accusations when there’s no good reason to believe this is the case. Why are you doing this? Why is it so important to cast aspersions on her when there’s no reason to believe she’s done anything wrong? If there was good evidence, that would be different, but there’s no good evidence this is the case. There’s absolutely no reason to bring it up unless you want people to think less of her (or less of women in general who speak out) for doing nothing more than speaking about her experiences.
It is true, and that’s why I don’t take sides in any of these cases.
My point, and what sounds like his point to me, is that you cannot unring the bell. Without proper proof, people should not be losing their jobs and livelihood over hearsay. If objective evidence comes out, or charges are laid and someone is found guilty, than the abuser deserves what he or she gets.
This aspect lately of “guilty until proven innocent” is disgusting no matter the gender of the abuser or the victim.
One who sided with Chris Hardwick would say exactly the same things you’ve just said but in reverse. There’s no good reason to believe he did anything wrong. Why are you doing this? Why is it so important to cast aspersions on him when there’s no reason to believe he’s done anything wrong? If there was good evidence, that would be different, but there’s no good evidence this is the case. There’s absolutely no reason to bring it up unless you want people to think less of him (or less of men in general who are in relationships) for doing nothing more than denying her claims about him.
All Dykstra did was tell her story. With no reason to believe she’s being dishonest, telling her story about her experiences is literally never, ever wrong. Without such evidence, she did nothing wrong at all.
If you don’t like that Hardwick had his career negatively affected, take that up with his bosses who fired him, or other business relationships, who presumably made the decision based on business considerations. But that’s not Dykstra’s fault (without reason to believe she was lying) – not in any way whatsoever. There’s no wrong way to speak out honestly about one’s experiences.
I think it’s a positive thing for society that businesses don’t want to associate with people credibly accused of sexual assault. Credible accusations are very difficult to fabricate. Not impossible, and this leaves open the possibility that some devious and vengeful person could harm someone they didn’t like by manufacturing a credible accusation. But this has always been and will always be the case. With more openness and honesty, the truth is more likely to come out and exonerate the innocent and reveal the guilty. In the past, countless women had their careers harmed or destroyed because powerful men were angry they didn’t succumb to their sexual advances. That victims and survivors are feeling more comfortable coming forward nowadays is a very, very good thing for society, and it’s terribly morally wrong to suggest, as many have in this thread, that simply coming forward and telling their story, as Dykstra did, is wrong in any way, without solid evidence of dishonesty. Those who are doing this are contributing to an atmosphere in society that makes it less likely for victims and survivors to come forward in the future, and more likely that abusers and harassers get away with their misdeeds.
Okay, I’m done. Carry on in support of rape culture – obviously you’re not interested in fighting against it. Let me know if you decide that you think it’s actually important to make it easier for victims and survivors to come forward, rather than continue on in support of the status quo that makes it so fucking difficult.
It seems to be popular to make accusations like this. Women may feel free now to discuss what horrible things happened to them, but I expect for Mrs. Plant (v.2.0) to come up with some lies and exaggeration any day now. 
My opinion isn’t so much about Hardwick or Dykstra, just the issue in general.
People should feel like they can tell their story, but it’s not right to crucify people based on nothing either.
I have no problem with her talking about her experiences, but it’s just “he said/she said”. Unless it rises to something more, no one, man or woman should be smeared with that kind of a label. It will haunt them the rest of their days even if they were exonerated. Such is life.
This. In taking her story at face value, I am not “siding against” him. I don’t know him and my actions have zero impact on his life. I’m not trashing him in public other than by saying “he seems like a douchebro” - which I’ve said about him before this came out.
But saying she is lying is taking a stand against her. It is adding to the “we don’t believe women” Here is the thing…what does it cost YOU to believe her? To say “gee, that sounds horrible” and then move on with your life.
Unless you are in the position of hiring either one of these individuals (and I probably wouldn’t hire either of them - one seems like a douche and the other seems not terribly stable - neither is something I look for in employees), or dating one of them (and again, don’t date douches and don’t stick your dick in the crazy), smile and nod and move on.
It’s an excellent point regardless. You seem to be under the impression that someone who behaves foolishly or mistakenly can’t be a victim.
We have a profoundly fucked up society when it comes to sexual harassment and abuse. I’m hopeful that this is finally actually changing in a significant way. But society still treats victims and survivors poorly, and still gives far more benefit of the doubt to those accused.
This needs to be taken into account when dealing with individual cases. It doesn’t mean believe everything - believe anything you want. It just means that it’s wrong to make it even harder on those who come forward without a very good reason. And bringing up the possibility that they’re lying, without God reason, is making it harder on them. It’s already way, way too hard to come forward and speak about your experiences. Unless you have very good reason to believe they’re being dishonest, please don’t make it even harder than it already is for them.
A “he said, she said” situation is not part of some magical alternative reality that protects people from the consequences of their actions or the judgment of society. We need to empower more people to expose abusive behavior that happens behind closed doors to teach powerful people that they can’t count on being able to manipulate privacy to get away with stuff.