Thanks Matt. I was going to throw something in there about that topic.
I have seen and am in favor of emerald.
Of course it all depends on who she is…
Maybe don’t get a rock at all. See if you can maybe get a three gold ring or a gold band with a platinum center band. There are a lot of very beautiful things that can be done with just the base metals.
I love multi-metallic jewelry! That stuff can be gorgeous and cool at the same time!
Good lard almighty, kunilou; since when do they let you marry two wives at once??
dropzone sez:
By golly, I have one.
http://www.angelfire.com/fl/tanzyr/gemstonelore.html
Great site. Lists the meanings of about every stone you could think of.
John, I just skimmed through the above responses (I don’t usually do this!) so forgive me if this has been mentioned. Make sure you know whether she prefers yellow gold, white gold or platinum. I only wear white gold or platinum (yellow gold looks bad on me) and my loving, adorable hubby bought me a yellow gold engagement ring. (It also has the cut I don’t like!) Of course, I love it and treasure it because he picked it out and bought it by himself but I just wished he had thought of that.
Just some suggestions. Someone else mentioned taking into consideration what she does with her hands on a regular basis in determining what kind of stone to get. This also has an effect on the cut. For someone who is very active (rough) with her hands, a marquis cut is probably not a good idea–it can get caught on things. If she uses her hands alot a round stone is a good, safe setting.
If you get a yellow gold ring, make sure that the setting is done in a harder metal, especially if you go for 24kt gold. Many rings in yellow gold have the setting done in platinum (very hard and strong) or white gold (also very good). This not only keeps the stone in place better but if the stone is a diamond (or another clear or translucent stone), it will keep the stone more clear and less yellow looking.
If she does like white gold (platinum with a stone may be a little pricey for your tastes), may I suggest an aquamarine set in white gold? The look is totally crisp, new, clean and polished. It is a very light ring and it looks good on all skin types. The ring is set off very well against people with darker skin and on people with fair skin, the ring looks very dainty and beautiful. Also, an aquamarine isn’t going to break your budget!
Congrats!
Beth, you did it again! 
Okay now for my little story.
My now husband took my two children out and they helped each other pick out a mothers day birthstone ring for me. A beautiful heart shaped London blue topaz with two small diamonds on both sides.
Later after the kids went to bed he told me that he really wanted to give it to me as an engagement ring but didn’t want to break the kids hearts since they were so thoughtful in picking out just the right ring.
He knows that I don’t care for diamonds but he was very unsure if it would pass.
A week later I went out and got us both two simple gold bands. Mine I wear under the topaz and it fits as though it was meant to.
Total cost? $80. Would it have made a difference if we would have spent more? Nope. It would have been too impersonal. This ring I know was given to me by the people I love the most. My husband and my children.
Do follow the advice of finding a nice sturdy stone no matter how active she is or not. I have been a grill cook before and never realized that I was cleaning the fryers with my rings on until I was done, and they cleaned up with no harm done. Some people are just harder on stones than others and it always better to be safe than sorry.
Old wives tale says that it is bad luck to wear an opal if it is not your birthstone. Reality, they are very soft. Sucks, they are gorgous but not my birthstone.
Good luck and congratulations. And one more person to tell you thank you for giving me something happy to post about today.
Just one last quick thing. Does she maybe have a best friend or a sister you could take along that might know her taste as well as you do to give you a second oppinion or at least moral support?
Does anyone remember the episode of The Simpsons where Homer proposes to Marge and all he has available is an onion ring? You’d save a lot of money, and it tastes good for “later that night.”
I agree with Kricket. If she has a friend or relative that knows her taste take them along. I helped one of my brother-in-laws pick out my sister’s engagement ring and she was absolutely thrilled.
I have always found that sapphires look lovely as engagement rings, or if she likes lighter colored stones, blue topaz is also beautiful.
In the end I am sure she will be happy with whatever you pick. In my humble opinion, getting engaged is not about the jewelery, but about the expression of love for each other.
Sort-of-but-not-entirely-relevant personal story:
We didn’t have a lot of money (read hardly any) when we were getting engaged. I didn’t want a ring anyway, since I can’t stand rings with stones that protrude. So anyway, we had a really big fight one night and as I was off crying by myself, he MADE me an engagement ring! He’s an electrician and he took a piece of cable-tie and closed it up to the size that would fit my finger, and then clipped it off. He came in and got on his knees and proposed to me with that cable-tie ring! I cried even harder, but then I was crying happy tears, and laughing at the same time. I still have that ring, somewhere. My point, I guess, is that whatever you give her will mean so much more to her than just a piece of rock in a metal band. Just get her something that you put your heart into choosing and it will be all right. I’m sure of it. He’s still got my heart all tied up with that cable-tie! [/glurge]
When I proposed to my wife, we were relatively starving college students. I wanted to surprise her wih a ring and a proposal (as it sounds like your gf wants you to do). What I did was pick a nice stone (diamond, smallish but high quality) and just put it in a solitaire setting. Then, after she said yes (thank god), the two of us went to a good jeweler we knew and designed her wedding ring. When the time came, we moved the diamond from the engagement ring to the wedding ring (it became the center stone) and the result is that she now has a very striking ring (it also has sapphires - her birthstone).
I guess my story isn’t overly relevant. My point is this, you can go get a good stone by yourself in a simple setting and then the two of you can design the wedding ring together in a few years, when you have some more money to spend on the band, settings, surrounding stones, etc.
Ok, a few of my thoughts about this, since I’ve gone through this fairly recently.
For her wedding ring, I went and picked out a nice spiral ring. It has several small diamonds in spirals of gold…cost about $600 total, and I spend hours looking to pick it out. I highly recomend that you pick out the engagement ring…she can help with the wedding rings, but you should spend the time and effort for her engagement ring.
For our wedding rings, we found a store that has rings by an artist in New York. Ther are three differnt colors of gold, braided together. They are unique, and we wouldn’t trade them for anything. True, that means that both her rings aren’t a “set”, but they represent our outlook on life. Good luck, and congrats.
**
DO NOT go with Ebay unless you are a tester and fully qualified to test the stones you receive. Not to mention prepared to have wasted all of your money. I know someone who tests stones. He bought some diamonds (rings and otherwise) via ebay, and they ALL turned out to be fake. Not one was real. Certificates can be (and are frequently) faked, and stones can also be faked - easily.
To get back to the original question, however…
I got married with tortoiseshell. That’s right, big seagoing turtle, shell. Pretty brown things, one of which broke when I got pregnant and my fingers swelled up. I promtly took the other off. We have since bought other rings, and will likely buy another set at some point. It’s not the ring that’s important, it’s the commitment. Hell, even monogamy isn’t the important part (unless that’s part of your personal commitment) - it’s the I’m-going-to-live-with-you-forever. The ring is so unimportant it’s not even funny. However, I would personally go about it like this:
Buy a ring box. Nothing too fancy, just the box. Get a ring-sizer put into it (they’re plastic things, go around the finger to show the size) in place of a ring. When you do the on-yer-knees thing, use THAT to ask her. Then you bring her with you to buy the actual ring, let her know that you didn’t want to buy something she wouldn’t want to wear forever, so you decided to bring her with you. The thought is important, and being considered so highly is a wonderful thing.
My opinion of course - keep in mind that comes from someone whose wedding rings (total set) cost about a buck worth of Costa Rican money while he was on a school trip. grin
-Elthia
I just wanted to say congratulations, John, and wish you much happiness!
Geez- this thread fell five pages in four days? God, this place moves fast…
Okay, update time. Spent a good bit of this weekend hitting the Antique stores (Laurel’s got a boatload) only to find that most Antique stores’ rings are honking big gaudy things. I’m still trying to figure out who would wear a ring with a full pearl sitting on top of a two inch wide circle of gold. Yuck. Anyways, some nice rings were spotted and priced.
I then hit the mall. Yes, I bought a ring from a mall jewelry store. On the other hand, this mall had four different jewelers in it, so I got to look at a very nice selection from merchants that were very interested in screwing over the competition (I love the way Laurel Center Mall has it set up so that each jewelry store is directly facing a competitor. Just makes it that much more evil).
Thanks for suggestions on stones- I ended up looking at topazes and aquamarines (sorry, Gaudere, no apatites to be seen, at least not in the price range I was looking at) before finally settling on a Garnet (her birthstone) in a heart-shaped cut on a gold ring. The setting actually fully covers the sides of the gem, and it’s a relatively flat cut, so that should be good given her active lifestyle.
Paid about $130, and it has a seven day return-for-other-merchandise guarantee (which is kind of stupid, when I think about it; I bought it on Saturday, and I’m planning to propose to her this coming Saturday. Should’ve waited until today to buy it so that I could still return it if necessary. Ah, well).
Anyways, thanks to all for your advice and suggestions. Now I just get to be really nervous for the next week while waiting for the time I plan to propose. Oh, joy.
give her an onion ring.
Its the thought that counts
Wow JohnC, sounds like you found a nice one. Good luck, let us know how it goes.
JohnL, you my friend are just evil. An onion ring. Humph
Ayesha,
I would never give a woman I loved an onion ring.
and coming from you, I’m proud to be called Evil!! 
As you should be!