A few caveats before we start. First, I wrote “men,” not “guys,” because I’m looking for serious (or mostly serious) answers. Some other time I’ll start a flippant thread on how to decide who gets the last beer.
Second, let’s try to give brief explanations of why we believe what we believe.
Third–um, I forgot what the third one was. Sorry. I’m at a Starbucks I usually avoid because all the baristas are hot girls.
Anywhistle…
I don’t believe in life after death, or an interventionist deity, or miracles. I think that the only meaning in life is what we put into it, and the meaning I choose to put into it is working for the perpetuation and prosperity of our progeny. Thus I believe in approaching morality largely from an evolutionary-benefits point of view (with a smattering of John Locke and generous dollop of knee-jerk sentimentality thrown in). So one thing I believe that (married) men should do is put the safety and well-being of their wives and minor children ahead of their own. That means you do not abuse your wife, physically, sexually, or otherwise. You do not hit your wife, unless doing so is necessary to protect your child. If your family is in danger, you protect them in preference to yourself (unless sacrificing yourself actually increases the danger to the majority of the group). And this obligation extends to other people’s minor children in their parents’ absence. If you’re on a sinking ship, you damn well better let the kids get on the lifeboats first. Because that’s what men do, and if you don’t, you’re not a guy I want around.
Yes, why men? I was on that cruise a few weeks ago and they repeated “women and children first onto the lifeboats”. (1) I am more buoyant than most men, and (b) I don’t have any dependents or immediate family to worry about. I’d rather two parents got on with their kids than me get on.
I guess it’s really hard for me to generalize by gender, because I’ve worked hard not to. Women shouldn’t hit their husbands either, and women should look out for the children around them.
Yes Men are the superior gender. Because of this onus placed squarely on our shoulders we should do everything with in our power to protect the fragile Women and children from themselves.
Well, from an evolutionary “create and protect your progeny” standpoint, assuming one per day, you can make approximately 270 babies in the time it takes your wife to make one. You can always find another wife.
Alternatively, she is a helpmate, and that littlest kid isn’t good for much yet. You can make another one just like him in less than a year.
Howsabout we go with “All adults should behave responsibly and decently. It’s not okay to abuse anyone. Treat everyone the way you’d like to be treated, and treat the people you love better than that.”
i actually agree that there are etiquette differences when it comes to holding doors and such, but when it comes to, say, giving up your own life then expectations by gender start to fall apart. If we’re talking about a situation where one of mom or dad has to go downstairs and whack the robber over the head with a baseball bat, well, yes, the dynamic in individual relationships often works out such that the man is the protector and the woman is protected. But I think it works out that way because of social norms and for the sake of argument lets even say biology, and biology and social norms are different than ethics in that violating the first two does not necessarily mean you are violating the third.
anyhow, gotta run my boyfriend is about to drive over to pick me up.
I never got that whole lifeboat thing. No way I’m giving up my spot. Besides, once the women and kids are on the boats, who’s going to beat off the sharks? Yeah, that’s right. Me.
As a man without wife and kids, I find it insulting to define “manhood” in terms of a man’s wife and kids. My life has just as much (or more) meaning and value as anyone else’s. And I don’t buy into the idea that there are certain “manly” qualities and characteristics, and others that are “womanly.” They are precisely the same. “The kind of things that men do” should be the same as "the kind of things that women do (with a few obvious anatomical differences).
As far as life boats are concerned, the “manly” and “womanly” thing to do is to make sure they have enough life boats for everyone.
Yes, but only if you also have 270 additional fertile women. And if there are 270 other fertile women, they only really need ONE man, not necessarily YOU, not 270 of them, unless they need the testosterone-infused advantage of stronger muscles. Like to fight off a tiger or open a pickle jar or something.
Except a woman already invested minimally a year of energy in that kid. Why waste it?
From a purely evolutionary point of view, you need a minimum number of strong, fertile males, a fair number of fertile women, and a small number of elders.
That’s the problem with the lifeboat thing. We’re not talking about the extinction of the human species, we’re just talking about a boat. There are 270 other women out there in the world.
Men have been running the world since the beginning, right? And look what we’ve done with it! One ego driven war after another. Rampant greed and cruelty. And toilette seats standing erect from one pole to the other.
Face it guys, women are the superior race and holding a door open, or putting them in the life boat is the least we Tarzans should do. CITE: “Why women should rule the world”
I only have one question, however: How can you blame men for the sorry state of the world, if we were all raised by women?
But once upon a time it WAS about the survival of the human species. Those who protected women and children survived to pass along that tendency, for the most part. To put it another way, a small band of hunter-gatherers in which the men put their own survival above women’s and children’s would soon not have very many of either. And then pretty soon no men, either.
Well,Skald, I’m your man, although I believe in God, I would never chastise another for his beliefs, whether I agree with them or not. It really makes no difference in the end, for when we leave this world it will be by ourselves and at that moment all will be revealed. All we have done and all we didn’t do will be right there. I should go ahead and tell you that this isn’t the correct forum for this and if this thread is moved we will speak further. Right now, my niece, needs a little snuggle time. Hey, Now! Something else a man should be about is love. For his wife, his soul mate and children especially. Children speak the truth when others bite their tongues out of fear.
I don’t want to garner the wrath of the moderators of this fine board.