Thea … I’m sorry you’re having these problems. I have a friend who went through the same course as you. I know it was very important for her to have practice with classmates. Can’t be easy. On one hand, I’m sure you can find many massage volunteers. On the other, the benefit of doing it with someone in the same class is because they can assess the techniques you’ve learned. I’d end up asking the teacher if I can practice on him/her. Problem solved.
This also brings me to a question I had…
What’s Reiki massage? I’ve asked this before, when I decided to pamper myself and was offered different types. If I remember correctly, I was told it was a “gentler massage”. Who needs gentle? I’m not here to make love. Get in deep and get all the toxins out.
I also suffer from chronic back problems, I stretch all the time and I’ve never been ostracized because of it. That is very odd. Try to be upfront about it? The next time someone avoids you, you could ask “Do you have a problem with me? If so, I’d rather know about it.”
Assuming Thea’s account and conclusion are right (I feel there should be some other reason, but can’t think of any) then I totally agree people are being jerks. OTOH, when I went to massage classes the one thing that was emphasised is that if for any reason you feel uncomfortable giving or receiving a massage you don’t have to, so I think it would be unprofessional to order someone to massage someone if they didn’t want to, however stupid the reason: there are other ways round it - finding someone who is less hung up, swapping into another class, using that student for demos, etc. I don’t know what was going on in the instructors mind.
I guess it could be, but honestly I doubt it’s about your back. I’ve even stood up after sitting too long and emitted an audible POP and not had people say a word or look at me funny.
I will relate one thing to you- at my current job I got treated like a freaking leper for about a year after I got there. I honestly had done NOTHING to these people, but I got gossiped, sniped at, and treated terribly. They had their reasons (I am from the North, I know more about their system then they do, they had jealousy issues), but it didn’t make life any easier. There wasn’t a damned thing I could do about it, either. They have stopped for the most part, but I remember trying to figure it out and not knowing what I did to offend. Turns out it really WAS them, not me. Now I go about my business and don’t spend a moment thinking about it. Most of the people who were nasty are much younger and just tight knit and gossipy. I"m not, so we all just kind of leave each other alone now.
It sounds like something else occured that was probably nothing at all to you, but made a difference to them in how they percieve you. Sorry for your troubles
This burns my ass - I hate working at gossipy, clicquey places. If I have my druthers, I would always work with mostly men - not to make too sweeping a generalization, of course, but women can be such bitches to other women. Men and I get along just fine.
Well, actually, I have considered this idea, and rejected it. Most of the problems I’ve had in the workplace either related to evil corporate management, or were with particular individuals who seemed bent on making life miserable for anyone who crossed their path. Most places I’ve worked, aside from corporate drone managers, I’ve gotten along extremely well with the majority of my co-workers (of course, at Wal-Mart, the free massages in the break room didn’t hurt my situation any, since just about everybody there had aches and pains of some sort.) In social situations, I’ve had more than one person that I had met less than an hour before tell me they felt instantly comfortable with me. This is the first time since middle school that an entire group of people has rejected me. Of course, I do tend to be aggressively friendly (being Greek Catholic will do that to a person), so maybe they’e just put off by friendly people. Given that a lot of the behaviors that are accepted by this bunch tend to lean toward the hostile side, that may be the case.
Oh, and where do you get the idea that I was being hard on ultrafilter?
Zoe the things you stated are part of what brought me to the conclusion that what was making people uncomfortable was watching me do my “spine dance”. I figure, if there was something particular that I had done or said that made them feel uncomfortable, they would have told the instructor, who would have passed that information along to me so that I could stop doing whatever it was that bothered them so much.
What I’m thinking is that whatever the reason is, it’s something they don’t want to admit to, because it wouldn’t be an acceptable reason to ostracize someone. Which, would narrow it down to either ultrafilter’s theory, which I still wouldn’t reject out of hand, or to, well, that back-cracking thing just looks too weird. Not wanting to share personal space with someone because of their religious beliefs (or, more likely refusing to “get with the program” by violating their own beliefs), or because they have a physical problem that you don’t want to deal with would fall into the category of not being an acceptable reason.
Oh, and masonite, I love your theory.
CheekyMonkey, reikei isn’t even a form of massage. See, with massage, you actually have to touch people. Reikei is a form of energy work in which the practitioner sort of waves their hands over the client, spending extra time over the area where there is illness or injury, and this somehow is supposed to manipulate the cosmic energy field to make them well. I think that if there is any validity to Reikei it is probably nothing more than the placebo effect ,and if it works on a higher percentage of people than placebo would tend to indicate, it is because the people who seek out energy work are probably more suggestible than the general population.
I wonder if it doesn’t have a component of “well, the others don’t like her, so we don’t either.” Very junior high, as you said, but I think people tend to avoid or dislike the people they see others disliking. Many an outcast has been made for no good reason other than that. And I’d bet there’s an element of the perfect body worship mentioned above. I agree that the instructor has been less than helpful, too.
Damn Thea, that really sucks. If I lived in Vegas, I’d be a faithful lab client for you in a second.
I had a similiar experience and I know how horrible it makes you feel. Although my experience was in the sixth grade, at the age that I thought most people left that silliness at.
Thea, just wanted to add my own support and condemnation of the jerks you’re stuck with in that class - teacher and students, all. I’ll admit I wondered about the personal hygiene issue, but that’s already been ruled out.
The sad part is that I’ve come to the conclusion that a lot of people never really do leave middle school. And you’re not allowed to go around with a big foam cluebat to try to knock people out of middle school. sigh
I dunno, I wouldn’t automatically raise my level of respect for that person. If someone firmly believes that opening a book other than the Bible is a sin, I don’t much care how long they’ve held the belief, that’s silly IMO and my level of respect for them would drop. Comfort level, too. Being taught that something’s wrong, and going with that belief, doesn’t automatically make someone a good person. Again, IMO. Perhaps this idea is a bit too GDish for the Pit, though.
I suggest you go back to your teacher and demand to be told a reason. If you do have a hygiene problem (I had a friend who constantly smelled of menses and had no idea until I told her) you deserve to know. If it’s petty personal problems, then you may not have a choice and have to wait it out until graduation. It sucks, I know. I spent my entire childhood being the “kid no one likes”.
As for Reiki, I was treated by a coworker several years ago. I had a bad sunburn on my shoulders (blisters) and she stood behind me and worked for several minutes. After she was done the blisters went down and I had no more pain than a minor sunburn (the kind that only hurts if you scratch it). Maybe it was psychosomatic, but it worked and that’s what really matters, right?
iampha, I think that would depend on a couple of factors.
If someone was trying to inflict my religious beliefs on me, saying I was wrong and gong to Hell, I’d probably move to the other side of the room, and maybe go to the instructor and tell him that this person was making disparging comments about my religious beliefs. My attitude (and I have stated as much) is, if you want to do things like certain kinds of energy work, use crystals, whatever, and you feel that it enhances your ability to help people or connect with the universe and enable communication between all life forms from extraterrestial beings to household pets, then more power to you, just don’t ask me to do it, or try to put that crystal on me. I feel that by doing so, they are effectively trying to force their religious beliefs and practices on me. I’m not asking them to follow Catholic teaching, and I don’t think they should ask me to follow New Age teaching.
Oh, and I really don’t think someone who thought it was a sin to open a book other than the Bible would be likely to turn up in a massage therapy class. Such people would most likely be thinking, “Sweet Jesus, these lust-ridden sinful people want to make a living rubbing on other people’s nekkid bodies. Why, that’s no different from being a harlot or a fornicator or an adulterer or an adultrous fornicating harlot!”
dangermom, what you said wouldn’t surprise me in the least. Three distinct cliques formed in the class by the end of the first week, and I didn’t get absorbed into any of them. I don’t do clique. Now, this is a class of about twenty people, so in a smallish group like that, the odd man out would be pretty easy to spot. If one person in each clique decided for some reason that they didn’t like me, that’s not a tremedously huge popluation for a meme to work its way through.
‘adulturous fornicating harlot’ hee hee, sounds kind of redundant
I have had situations where I would be relaxing in a particular part of campus, doing nothing special beyond just zoning out while sitting in a chair, and have other students come up and ask “What are you doing?”. Puzzled, I would reply that I’m just sitting here. They’d get all huffy and say “Well, WE are trying to study!” to which I’d reply, “Don’t let me stop you.” and they would get even more pissed.
Apparently, because they had work to do and I didn’t, they viewed me as some sort of ‘threat’ because I was sitting there doing nothing. Like my empty skull is sucking up all their brain waves through osmosis or something :rolleyes:
Excuse me while I take time out from this rant for a little personal sharing (it does relate, really).
After I moved into my house, my lower back went all to hell. I try to pack boxes that I can left with ease, but I just have too many books. So, eventually (because everything comes before my health) I go to a wonderful chiroprator. He works on me, I get some relief, I come back in a few days for another treatment, ditto. Third treatment, he asks “You said you were feeling better?” I reply, “Oh yes, fatigue is still a problem, but the chronic pain is almost gone.” “Wow,” says he, “I’m surprised because your muscles are still very tight. In fact, I’m surprised you’re not in agony!” "Well, " says I, “I guess I’m used to it.” He then proceeded to lecture me on why I shouldn’t be “used to it”, that low-level pain is still a signal that something is wrong even though you’ve grown accustomed to it, and urge me to get a massage and find a way to relax these muscles.
Well, a few months go by, but I do finally make it to a well-recommended massage therapist, Michael. Let me just say this–Michael is a god. Now, understand, massage is not a fun thing for me, it involves a lot of pain, I get a tad nauseous and I’m sore the day after, but I can feel the difference for weeks! And the chiropractor (a demi-god at least) has finally been able to adjust that one little spot that just wouldn’t release. Between the two on them, I’m beginning to be able to put my arm behind my back without pain–it’s been 20 years since I could do that. I’m not sure what might happen if we ever succeed in getting my back into a “normal” state of relaxation, but it may well change my life.
So, Thea Logica, best luck to you and please stick it out, because a good massage therapist is a gift indeed. Let your classmates work at spas giving weak-ass massages, while you step into the ranks of healers and heros.
Have you considered that you may be stretching in a rather hideous manner? I mean there’s a graceful stretch-n-pop, which involves slight curvature of the spine and a gentle rolling of the shoulders, and then there’s “I’m gonna stick my chest out and make my back look like the letter C, while my eyes bulge and my face goes red with exertion and I flail my arms around behind me like a reverse moshpit.”
Maybe you should check out the way you stretch in a mirror or something.
First, your teacher is a piss-poor example of such for permitting the antics you describe in your first post in a supposed educational forum. Does your curricula include nothing about professional behavior and demeanor, or is it just this one instructor who avoids it?
Second, is this an accredited course, at the conclusion of which you are eligible to sit for a state test to become a Licensed Massage Therapist? If so, you’re being short-changed. There’s no way that courses designed to groom you for a state license should be including such utter nonsense (and non-science) and crystal therapy and reiki massage techniques. These things are chimeras; even if there may be some beneficial placebo effect that goes along with them, your course time would be much better spent on other things - things that actually some some basis in science.
See this www.skepdic.com entry for information on the sham that is reiki. Interesting history it has:
Uh-huh. I expect valid medical knowledge to be learned while hallucinating.
On the other hand, if your course of study isn’t designed to prepare you for state licensing, but simply for “botique massage,” then I guess I wouldn’t expect professionalism to enter into the equation at all. The course is a sham, and the instructors are all charlatans. You seem to be involved in a dubious enterprise; I wouldn’t expect professionalism from such con artists.
Your situation stirs up some memories. I had a similar experience in a computer course I took six years ago and the same ‘Lord of the Flies’ mentality existed there as well. If you didn’t fit the mold, you were banished into unpopularity. I found it hurtful at first but I had plenty of quality friends outside the course so I just played my own game and went through the course and on to a very good career. Most of those butnuts never amounted to anything anyway. Don’t let a few immature acquaintances define who you are.
My preceptor was a lovely, daffy, loud-mouthed RN who constantly grabbed her chin and ratcheted her neck around, would go into a side twist mid-conversation and open and close her mouth rapidly whenever she felt the need. It took some getting used to, but since I rightly figured it was pain-related and she didn’t want to take narcotics before we went into surgeries, I mostly ignored her antics. I did see a few strong reactions from patients: not all her motions were graceful and some were off-putting ugly but she was and is a hell of a nurse and any patient who is spooked by her antics is missing out on superior care.
People can be tribal and stupid—hang in there. You’ve obviously been labled the “other”, the “not-us”. Except for the inconvienience, good.
Either that, or she was just an attention whore. It’s like some of the weight-lifters in the gym who make wildly loud grunting sounds when they’re pumping iron - those noises can often be translated as “Hey, everybody, look at me.”
Some people will react to these kinds of attention-whoring in precisely the manner desired by the “look at me” person, whereas other, harsher judges of their fellow primates will react by saying, “I’ll be damned if I’m going to give that moron the satisfaction of paying any attention,” and will steer clear.
