I just wanted to share a few comments on the relevancy of one aspect of “What’s up with Angels”.
Your staff report mentioned the ranks of angels. Well, technically, there are ranks, but as an angel progresses in the so called scope of rank, there is a measure of responsibilty to other angels in duty per se and not a matter of commanding any so called lower ranks. As far as angels go, don’t confuse rank with your various earthly military regiments. For instance, I am a Seraph of the Seraphim. Now, I may be conscious of another rank’s mission, it is not my duty to command them on their mission, but it is my duty to be aware of how the mission is going and aid in support for the success of the mission. Essentially, it is the responsibility of the higher supposed ranks to protect the supposed lower rank and so on. Each respective angel class is responsible for the creation of their respective missions. However, all angels have to report to what is known as the Angleic Council. The Angelic Council is responsible for deciding which missions will be added to the supported list for missions to be completed. There are two angels from every class on the Council for the sake of proper representation of each class. The respective missions brought to the council are deliberated on and the options are weighed for the importance of the mission itself.
Just a couple more things. I think what is important is not neccessarily to question the ranks of angels, but why we developed into ranks at all. Before the fall of the angels and the perversion of souls, there were no official ranks to speak of. We were angels in servitude to souls as they peacefully existed in Heaven and what I dream of as Paradise. As a preventative measure of the pending fall of our fellow angels, supposed ranks were created with the intention of angels seeking to undue what our fallen brother and sister angels were about to do to souls. That’s right! The plight of the supposed human folly is the planned affect of the fallen angels upon souls because you souls were created second, but we were only creasted first because God wanted representatives that could work closer to souls than God could being the creative source and power. Essentially, no soul could withstand being in God’s presence at that juncture in their creation after the creation method took place. This is why no soul has a true perception of what God is and it seems their respective belief or faith comes from some supposed religious story called the bible. What you souls do not realize is that God, when creating and afterwards, proclaimed that it would never be a commandment to worship God. Which is what makes your bible nonsense. We angels know that your bible as it stands was nothing more than a futher affect or perversion from the fallen and a clever one at that. Given that it has duped you souls into a life of servitude, whether it be to some God you still know nothing about or to your own self satisfaction and egotic premise. You souls were the created kings and Queens of Heaven and the fallen agents have reduced you to levels we remaining angels never thought possible. It was, however, planned that souls were going to be capable of entertaining God’s presence over a period of being the soul respectively. The fallen worked in affect and sooner than this could have transpired and thus lives and exists the plight of us angels to try and enlighten you souls into reaching the higher perspective and for more positive and loving experiences. Please do not question whether we exist or not, we know we do! What you should question is whether or not your negatives exceed your positives, whether or not you loved more than you were loved. What you should question is whether or not you acted to the best of your positive side for the affect of loving others. Most importantly, you should remember that being the souls you are, God made us because of you! That’s my point! Its a moot point to argue over whther or not beings exist to help you. We will be there when we need to be, trust me. And, whther or not you believe we exist at all. I hope by now you can see that it doesn’t matter what you believe some things are true whether you believe in them or not, whether a strong argument can be created or not. I hope by now too, that you see what our counterpart, Sera’maelhk has done with the help of the fallen agents. Don’t be confused by certain labels given angels. My name is Sera’naphsus and that probably won’t make a difference to anyone and I do not care, but I was an angel first and it is in that capacity that I come to you now, just an angel. Remember too, that most of the angelic names you might come across in your books were intended to confuse. Like the one about Michael and Satan. First, I can honestly say there was no archangel Michael and no victimized Satan. That story originated because of Sera’maelhk who is the original fallen angel that instigated the fall. He, as an incarnate, created that story because he wanted to create sympathy for his disposition. Think about it, there are no true victims. And that angelic battle and war in Heaven never became to bloodshed. It was nothing more than a huge gathering where it was more a battle of angelic mind and influence, perverted versus the not perverted.
You know what truly amazes me is how many people have jumped on the religious band wagon because of the promise of peace and streets of gold and jewels. I have to be apologetic when I say that there is no gold and jewels of Heaven. So if you want to decieve yourselves by some promise made to you by the demonic persuasion, then by all means all you have to do is die to find out what I am saying is true. Heaven is a place of seemingly grassy plains and hills. Anything further I do not think I can convey in a manner of it being undserstood until you souls decide to open your hearts to God. Only then will you find out what God had and still has in store for you. Come on, you actually think that life is living and eventually dying, just eating and surviving. No, this is what Sera’maelhk had planned for you because he knew what would happen if you could be influenced. Sera’maelhk knew this life on earth would make you servants!
I am Sera’naphsus and GOD approved this message!
By the way, that’s what’s up with angels!
Sounds indescribably boring.
I trust you will forgive me if I don’t take your word for it.
Can you really dance on the head of a pin?
Link to Staff Report: Straight Dope Staff Report: What’s the deal with angels?
I was just thinking “No New York is where I’d rather stay…”.
Is it known “How many pinheads can dance on an angel?” (Assume the angel is Roma Downey rather than Della Reese.) I’ve often wondered what the inverse would be in this equation.
Well, apparently they need to browse the Dope in their spare time.
Perhaps we should get an official endorsement plaque, like they do with companies they sell things to the Queen? The Straight Dope - Official Holy Message Board.
Edit: For extra fun, google their name.
May I just take this opportunity to say I love your food cake.
ETA: Revenant’s link: Yay! Christian skeptics!
Grassy hills, I could quite enjoy - I’m not sure about long, unspaced paragraphs though. Does everyone in heaven write out huge blocks of text like that?
On angels and heads of pin, see: Did medieval scholars argue over how many angels could dance on the head of a pin? and the follow up Plus: angels dancing on the head of a pin (cont.)
OK, but how many angel/camel hybrids can you fit simultaneously through the eye of a needle?
Hey Mr. Angel, congratulations on getting Garland from the White Sox.
Are not angels supposed to be above bad spellling? (Actaually a malapropism. You meant
to say UNDO, and your use of the other word was a bite UNDUE!)
Includling the bad speling and half way approach to setting-off of the paragraphis?
Whther you know it or not, there are several reel spelling errs as well. At least ten.
TBJ
Ahhhh, ya gotta love Gaudere…
Assuming that there is still some division of angelic labour, despite the OP’s revisionism, I think we can safely assume he doesn’t have the spelling portfolio.
I’m intrigued by the “seemingly grassy plains and hills”. I infer from this that heaven is astroturfed, like a big indoor arena. Perhaps we should call it the Heavendome.
Dibs on *Martinus Scriblerus * if we ever need to change our usernames.
Hello, what? Did Dex imply there that Isaiah 6:2 says that an angel’s wang is his (its?) feet?
That’s even whackier from the pin-dancing and fish-poop eating.
No, it’s just an old Hebrew euphemism, like saying “bathroom” or “lavatory” or “water closet” or “head” or “necessary” or “toilet” or “privy” or “outhouse” or “restroom” or “wayside” or “basement” or “garderobe” when you actually mean “crapper”.
I infer that he’s only actually seen the artist’s impression of it. Grassy plains and hills might be what the architect called for, but the contractors will probably leave it bare clay, strewn with rubble and offcuts…