Hey taggert, that was a bit too obvious and over-the-top. Brutus was great with his subtlety, then whipping out the ‘bull-dyke’ ftom nowhere.
Wait, Brutus actually believes it? Never mind.
Personally, I’d appreciate it if he didn’t whip it out. 
Gee, Dan thanks for the image. Thanks a whole bunch. I mean, really, thanks for sharing that.
He’s a cop…are you talking about his nightstick?
A) Volunteer reservist. (But we do have full powers of arrest. Don’t worry, IRL, I am much, much calmer and nicer.)
B) For $9.99/mo, you can get access to my hot XXX websi…never mind.
Boy, how I wish he hadn’t told me that.
Happy to oblige, elucidator! 'Course, you could always just think of Blazing Saddles instead, no? 
I, for one, will plead guilty in my treason against apple pie. I’ve been subversively supporting chocolate pie for many years, and I’ve even been known to experiment with pumpkin pie and associate with lemon meringue supporters from time to time.
Moreover, I was fully aware how completely unAmerican these taste treats were, and I’m completely unapologetic.
You may send me to the chair at your leisure.
I think you boys have had enough beans.
I think you boys have had enough beans.:smack:
Beans, beans, the musical fruit, the more you eat, the more you… hey, what were we talking about, anyway? :>
FREE THE KEY LIME SEVEN!
So that’s who stole my paintball gloves! I knew it!
I take it you wouldn’t have rebelled against King George in 1776?
You’re a little confused about who the U.S. is fighting…
Hint: It ain’t communists.
Furthermore, I am a conservative Republican atheist. I find Ann Coulter’s remarks on forced religious conversions and the stifling of free speech to be not only appalling, but totally contrary to the Republican part line.
She is cute, though:
http://www.anncoulter.org/images/webimages/silver-dress.jpg
Ya know, Mythos45, looking at that pic makes me think she needs a hamurger, pronto.
taggart ROCKS!
Honestly, man, I’m only 85% certain you’re high satire. To that I say, “Good work, man (or woman.)” I’m turned off by satire that’s too nutty, that departs too readily from how people really think and act. I’ve talked to enough people who really do talk and think the way your posts read, so I respect the groundedness of your œuvres. Keep it up!
By the way: as far as I’m concerned, don’t bother with the smilies. A good writer can get by without them. As Penn Jillette once said, “I would have enjoyed A Modest Proposal far less if Swift had ended it with a :}.”
**Scylla—**Boundless respect for the honest way you admitted your shift in your feelings toward Ann Coulter earlier in this thread. I mostly agree with what you said except for one point. I’m not willing to forgive Coulter for her September 12 column unless she comes forth and retracts it. The exploitation of tragedy since that date on her part indicates that she’s not likely to do so, though.
**Sofa King—**I humbly accept the award. I’ve been using the umlauts for years, and have gone so far as to get told off by my boss about how annoying they are. There’s only one way to deal with that, so I ask: do you have any contacts at the New Yorker? I need to be with my kindred souls.
Incidentally: I am in the habit of calling them dierises, which busted my pretentiometer. I had it replaced, and my new one goes up to eleven. It [i[has* to; believe me.
**elucidator—**Ayn Rand cannot die. She isn’t human. Don’t ask me what she is, but anything that can write John Galt’s soliloquy can’t be human.
Dear Mr. Mythos:
Paint balls sounds evil, and the stealing of paint balls gloves is not evil, because that would be a double negative. Your painted balls glove just sounds like another freaky perversion to me. Why would anyone want to paint their balls? But seriously, Bill Clinton, a man with blue balls if there ever was one, is responsible because his mockery of the law has made it so that everyone feels that they can get away crimes. His deep involvement in Whitewater and taking a bank loan from the Savings and Loan and paying it off under suspicious circumstances was ample reason to impeach him.
I wasn’t born during the revolution, so the question of whether I would have rebelled against George III (now we have George II, go figure), is really bizarre. If I had been alive at the time, I suppose it would really have depended on my economic interest, wouldn’t it? If I had lived in England, I wouldn’t have rebelled. Had I lived in the colonies, I would have been unjustly taxed, so I would have supported the independence movement. I’d like to think that I would have been a gunsmith, like any good conservative.
Is there really a difference between communists and terrorists? Both start with hard plosive sounds, have double letters in the middle and end in “ist”. They organize in cells, and are determined to destroy the evil that is capitalism (their view, not mine). They share everything they have, including the work, and hate the USofA. Hint: they are all nothing more than losers hungry for power, regardless of flourishes of ideology. Yeah, I think they are the same. That’s called “moral clarity.”
Now, I wish to be fully respectful of your dignity, but really, conservative Republican atheist? Either you are with us or against us. You cannot be a good Republican (or conservative) and an atheist at the same time. You don’t see Scylla claiming to be a Chrybdis, now do you? Godless atheists are communists, and therefore terrorists. Please get back with the program and go to church before the rapture. Lot’s of people in church aren’t really sure they believe, but they keep up appearances for the sake of the Republic.
And I think that you are slightly misconstruing both Ann Coulter’s statements and the Republican party line. Annie (get yer gun) has said that she wants to forcibly convert members of Islam, not real Americans. And the Republican party line is really determined by the actions of its leaders, not a platform even the leaders have never bothered to read. The head of the Republican party is our glorious leader, President George Walker Bush. And he has designated as his spokesman and deputy Vice President Dick Cheney. Cheney’s statements are clear that dissent is highly dangerous and unpatriotic, and he is right. To say that Cheney’s statements (Ashcroft’s too) are not authorized and the real position of the party is to ignore the real facts on the ground. We are at war. A war of terror against the Islamicists and a cultural war for moral clarity. I will pray for your soul and salvation. (I am, however, in favor of separation of church and state, as I don’t want some papist conspiracy getting to be in charge.)
Yes, Ann Coulter is a cutie. I would love to invite her over sometime to enjoy a taste of my favorite sausage.
Mr. Chance the Gardener: I don’t mean to be rude, but rock and roll has had an evil effect on our country, I would rather not “rock!” And like liberals, assuming you are one, you would be 85% wrong. I think that satire is just for smart asses. If you read my posts, you will see that I am consistently on top of “moral clarity”, and satire and moral clarity are mutually exclusive (kinda like Republican atheists, no offense intended). We are in the end times, and it is important to decide, are we with Jesus, or are we by default with the Beast?
The rapture is near and it is important to complete our work and tattoo the number of the Beast (666) on all the Evil Doers.
tag, if you are so clear about moral clarity, then what do think of Bush’s friends stealing money out of the economy as blatantly as they did?
WHOOSH!!
Shit, he really had me going for a while there. I salute you taggert!
Bush has said that he barely knows these people. That doesn’t make them friends. That’s first. Second, you simply cannot “steal money out of the economy”. What the heck does that mean? Either they are thieves or they are not thieves, and that is only determined in a court of law with the full constitutional protections they are entitled to. If they had in fact blatantly “stolen” something that isn’t their’s, I would expect that they would have been convicted by now, wouldn’t you? In fact, the Dept of Justice and the SEC have not even charged these folks. It is my bet that if some people are in fact eventually convicted, I think that you will find that they have a close relation to Bill Clinton, possibly Hillary.
The latest to be recklessly accused is Vice President Dick Cheney. It is clear that the millions that he received from the stock sale of his Halliburton stock were as a result of divesting himself so he could be Vice President, not as a result of any knowledge that the company that Halliburton merged with was going to face unlimited asbestos liability. He would have had to have been psychic to have foreseen those events. His recommendation of Arthur Andersen for advice above and beyond the normal audit relationship is absolutely innocent. He could not possibly have known that AA would simply advise people on how to get around their audit procedures.
And this whole argument is racist in any event. This is simply an envious press persecuting a bunch of rich white guys for doing their jobs. Simply because they have escaped without personal economic ruin doesn’t mean that they did anything wrong. When there is an economic downturn, people usually see the devaluation of stocks and their pension funds. That rank and file workers did not diversify before the downturn isn’t the fault of their managers, who don’t control the personal investment decisions of the employees. Failure to diversify is a stupid mistake, and shows that these folks were correctly rank and file employees because they were not smart enough to diversify. The higher level managers, however, demonstrated why they are big shot executives because they were smart enough to diversify, and at the right time too. Most of the stuff that comes out is just jealous class warfare.
Due to the management of the Clinton years of the economy, people have seen that it is okay to play with definitions and deny personal responsibility. Fortunately, Bush and Cheney have restored honor and dignity and integrity to the White House by having, as Bush said, all of their personal financial activities “fully vetted”, which as Cokie Roberts has said on the liberal NPR, fully exonerates them from any charges of wrongdoing.
Good Americans have enough “moral clarity” to see that Bush, Cheney and the CEOs didn’t know that the accountants were cooking the books and understand that this entire scandal is cooked up by people wishing to confuse the issue of the war on terrorism.