Annoying calls from clients

The BBQ Pit
1

I’m really getting sick of these clients who call the office. What is it about people that makes them think “I don’t know” really means, “I know, but I’m not telling you, so you have to cajole it out of me.”

“Can I speak to [your boss]?”

“He’s not in the office right now, can I take a message?”

“Do you know what time he’ll be in?”

“I’m sorry, I don’t - he’s out running errands and I don’t know how long it will take.”

“But he will be in later today?”

Excuse me sir, but exactly what part of I DON’T KNOW did you not understand? If I KNEW that he was not going to be back the rest of the day, don’t you think that would have been the fucking very first thing I would have told you? Did you think that I secretly knew he had gone home for the day, and was lying to you to make you think he was just out running errands?
Sometimes it goes kind of like this:

“Is [your boss] in?”

“He’s in court right now, can I take a message?”

“What time will he be in?”

“I don’t know, that would depend on how long the court session lasts.”

“Uh, 2:00, 3:00?”

“I don’t know.”

“Will he be in this afternoon?”

“I believe so, but I don’t know what time.”

“You have no idea?”

“I don’t know.”

I know you don’t like it, but sometimes it’s just not possible to tell you the exact time a person will be back, so stop asking. I can’t give you information I don’t have. I really do wish I knew exactly what time he’s returning, but I don’t. Believe it or not, every time you repeatedly ask me the same question, I still have exactly the same information to give you that I gave you the first time. So suck it up and either leave a message, or go away.

2

I know what you mean. I hate when I tell the caller that Mr. X is on the phone and they ask me, “Do you know when he’ll be off?” What do I look like, Carnac the Magnificent?

I’m so glad I don’t answer the phone at this job. For the first time in my life, I have someone under ME that answers the phone from the dumbshits mentioned above, telemarketers, and people who hang up right after she says “Good morning, Company Z” just so they can get our name and mail us some shit.

3

Once you accept the truth of Taub’s First Law (All customers, regardless of their intelligence outside of the place of consumption, are idiots.) you can view this sort of behavior as simply another proof of this law of human nature. :smack:

Doesn’t really make it any less frustrating, I know, but it will relieve you of unreasonable expectations of your customers.

4

I worked as a secretary during the summer and hated that. This was due to two reasons.

One - I was sometimes lying. (At the request of the boss.)

Me - “It’s XXXXX on the phone.”
Him - “I’m not in.”

Reason Two - He was rarely in the office. So I had to deal with those annoying phone calls all day.

5

It’s also always struck me as rather rude, when calling someone, and being told he’s not available to answer the phone right now, to say, “What’s he doing?”. But it seems commonplace now for people to ask that. I always make the very reasonable offer to take a message and have the boss return their call, but so many people these days seem to feel entitled to have a person be available to talk to them at any time they happen to feel like calling.

6

The most annoying type I get are voicemail messages along the lines of:

(What, you aren’t calling me at work just to chat? I’m crushed!)

7

Steve MB, I used to use phonetic spellings on phone messages, then after the tenth or twelth straight call back, “Why are you telling me about X-rays? We’re the pharmacy.” I’ve given up. No matter how you make things clear in a message, people still find some way to screw up the message, even after they can repeat it word perfect. :smack:

8

Sometimes I get ones like this:
Me: “Hello?”
Client: “May I speak to John?”
Me: “I’m sorry, I believe you have the wrong number.”
Client: “Ok, sorry to bother you.” click
The fucking audacity!

9

I deal with the “what time will he be in?” clients by lying. I’ll make up an arbitrary time for later that day sometime and say he’ll be in by then. Nine times out of ten, the client doesn’t call back anyway. Screw 'em.

10

Someones confused here and I am 99% sure that its me. Yep I am positive that I don’t understand the problem with that.

11

Mine all come from my coworker’s boyfriend, who she doesn’t tell when she’s going to be off work, and he can’t call her at home because she’s married.

Try dealing with that all day.

I’ll call her Julie:

2:00
Hello, Company Name.
Julie?
No, she’s not in right now, may I take a message?
Oh, um, is she there?
No, she’s not, can I take a message?
Um, do you know when she’ll be back?
She said 4:30.
Oh, okay, um…
Would you like me to have her call you?
Umnothankyougoodbye. SLAM.

4:00
Hello, Company Name.
Julie?
NO, this isn’t Julie. She’s not in, can I take a message.
Do you know when she’ll be back?
She isn’t coming in today. (she called and begged off earlier)
Oh, um. Okay. SLAM. (yes, he always slams the phone down).

HEY! Get a clue, buddy. Call her freaking cell phone if it’s so important to you.

12

What I hate is when someone (usually bill collectors) call to talk to my husband at say… 6 pm. The call I just had went this way:

Me: Hello?

Them: Is Mike home?

Me: Nope he’s at work

Them: When will he be home

Me: Sometime after midnight, can I take a message?

Them: Just have him call when he gets home “click”

:confused: Ok Who the hell are you that it is vitally important for him to call you AT MIDNIGHT when you don’t tell me who the hell you are and don’t leave a number?!?!?

13

Okay, I need to talk to your boss about an important and urgent matter to me . I don’t have a cell phone and I’m running around from place to place to complete my tasks. If I know I’m going to be able to contact your boss, then Option B which is to deal with someone else that I don’t want to deal with might not be neccessary.

I need to know if I’ll be able to contact your boss by the end of the business day. Most bosses tell their receptionist as best as they can. They’ll tell them if they won’t be back in by the end of the day. What do you suggest I do? Respect the fact that I might upset the receptionist by requesting a more definitive answer and politely hang up ?

14

“Sorry, Julie just ran down to the hall to the bathroom, but her husband’s standing right here; would you like to talk to him?”

15

You don’t say!

16

I’m with the clients on this one.

You say, “he’s not in at the moment” with no further information, and I’m wondering, “Ok, is he on leave for the next month, or is he just out for half an hour to get a coffee?”.

So I want more information. “Do you expect him back today?”, “this afternoon?” etc.

If you were to say at the start, “He’s not in at the moment, I’m not sure exactly when he’ll be back but I do expect him back today sometime”, then I know that if I leave a message I should get a reply either later that day or early tomorrow or I can just try again later.

17

How about accepting “I don’t know” the first time it’s given as an answer?

18

I get this ALL the time. My boss is out much more than he’s in, but luckily, all his business friends (i.e. cronies) know this.

When they ask what time he’ll be in, I always reply, “Good question. Depends on what time happy hour is over.”

I doubt everybody can say this, though.

Sometimes I just say he’s out of the country and if they want to leave a message I’ll be happy to take it. You’d be surprised at the folks that leave messages that may not be read for three weeks! :smiley:

19

If her boss is indeed in court, however, she very well may not have any clue when or even whether he’ll get back in the office. I’ve sat in too many court sessions until 6 or 7 or 8 (or even later) in the evening not to appreciate taht sometimes business people really can be unreachable. Especially attorneys who do courtroom work.

What’s most obnoxious is working for someone who leaves early every single freaking day but doesn’t want his clients to know. So you have to find new and creative ways to stall them to hold while you call his cell and patch him through, pretending the whole time that he’s either in the office or out of the office on business (instead of going home early to screw around with Trophy Wife, or cheating on Trophy Wife with Latest Girlfriend). Did that once for a few months, never want to do it again.

20

“Hey, man…is Dave there?”

puffs and runs