Open letter to my family:
I’m MAD at all of you, and I want you to know why! :mad: :mad: :mad:
***To my father: ***If you think I’ve totally forgiven you for what you did to me a few years back, you can think again! Almost strangling your daughter in a fit of rage because she used a facecloth to wipe the toilet after washing it is NOT a good show of anger… nor is it constructive! Yes, I realize that what I did was wrong, but you still shouldn’t have done that! You wonder why I never want to get too close to you? Well, this is why! Frankly, I think that’s part of the reason why I’m depressed! Besides, I had a tolerably fair singing voice before it happened… now, my singing voice isn’t as good as it was! (not that I’d make a great singer or anything, but honestly, you have to have SOME kind of a voice to sing in the church choir!)
***To my mother: ***Why do I have to sleep on the couch when I come over every weekend? You said you were going to move a bed downstairs for me in the computer room, yet you never did! Actually, why did you put my brother in what used to be my room? I don’t get it…
Why do I have to pay my siblings $10 each every month? For what purpose? Yes, I may have money, but I don’t have that much of it! Granted, they do things for me, but why should that translate into them getting money from me? It’s not like I’m ordering $100 meals at restaurants and asking them to drive me on extended road trips every month! Sheeeeeeeeesh!
Why do I HAVE TO do chores in the house when I don’t even live there? I’m not even there half the time, so don’t act like I’m still part of the family in the house! I don’t mind helping out, but when you expect me to do all the dishes, put them away, take out the garbage, put away groceries, and do the laundry… that gets to be a bit much! My friend Elizabeth said it best: “You’re a GUEST there now, so you don’t have to help out!”
While I’m on the subject, why do I have to help you with washing your pernament press clothing? The clothing’s YOURS, so can’t you wash it yourself? I know you say you’re busy, but why do I have to pick up the slack for you? I just don’t get it…
Why do you insist on taking control away from me? If you’re picking me up, I want to at least be consulted on the time that you are likely to arrive, and not be presented with such a draconian statement as: “We’re picking you up at 3:30 and no later!” That would be fine if there was something important to be done later on, but usually there is not! And how you can say this gem is beyond me: “If you’ want a ride from us, you can’t be late! But if we’re picking you up, we can be late!” Somehow, that just does not compute!
Why the hell do you have to sing every time I’m around in the house? Can’t you see it bugs me? I don’t have to put up with other people singing in my apartment, unless I invite them over and they start singing at my invitation! I might not mind it so much if you’d sing normal songs, like maybe hymns or something! But NO… you have to sing songs about “chup chups”, poo, pee, and how they all somehow relate to me! Don’t you dare say I’m being disagreeable when I’m expressing my own opinion! Yes, it is your house, and I’m fully aware of that fact: how could I not be when you and my sister keep reminding me of it every five minutes? But haven’t you heard of being considerate of the people in your house? It’s like you WANT me to go insane! Too late; I’m already there!
Why do you insist that I need your physical affection? I remember well the time you made me hug you every night before bed (and I was over 18 at the time!)… you know I hated it! You say I was “doing better” (whatever the hell THAT’S supposed to mean) during that time… well, I didn’t like it one bit! There are some people out there who don’t seem to like hugging and all that, so please could you just freaking RESPECT my personal space?
How can you say that I have two faces? The reason why I’m more cheerful around my friends is not necessarily that I like them more (though that may be true sometimes), but that they look out for me without any expectation of my doing anything for them in return! (and if they do want me to do something for them, they will generally make it known!) If you really want to know why I seem to be cranky around you, it’s that somehow the weekends make me sleep-deprived, and I am not normally a morning person! As for the rest of the time, maybe it’s because I resent having to go to your place every single freaking weekend for at least 48 hours non-stop! Like picking me up at my apartment is THAT out of the way! It’s only 10 minutes, for Og’s sake! Yes, I know it uses up your precious gas, but so does driving HALF AN HOUR to work and all of that crap!
The nerve of you, saying that I waste all sorts of stuff! Definitely not what I do, and I think you know it! One prime example is the day I moved into my apartment: you called me just to rant at me about how it wasted your gas in the van (my brother was driving the van to help with moving stuff), and how it wasted my brother’s time! Shut up! Can’t you think of anything other than yourself for once!
Why do you think that whenever I have to be driven somewhere, it’s an excuse to say that it’s too much trouble? For goodness sakes! Then you go and say that my friends must think that way, too… that is definitely NOT true! In fact, one of them just said last night that driving me to and from places is not a problem at all! (and they’ve said similar things throughout the years that I’ve known them) If it ever was too much trouble, they would let me know so that I could make other arrangements or something! Don’t presume to know what my friends are thinking! If I wanted to know, I’d ask them!
Just because I have a free bus pass does NOT mean that I’ll be happy to visit people who live relatively far away! (Grandma, for one) You complain about driving 10 minutes “out of your way” to pick me up? Well, I can complain about it taking an hour on the bus to go to New Westminster and visit her! I am fully aware that she might not be with us much longer, and for that, I am truly sorry… I love her. BUT I resent… no, DETEST your reasoning that since I have a free bus pass and am currently unemployed, that I have nothing better to do with my time than do that! Besides, I just might have (gasp! the horror!) other things to do, as well!
Why do you have to insist that there is only one way to do things, and any other ways must be wrong? I can see where that might be true (for example, a very complicated procedure in which you have to get each step exactly right), but sometimes there is more than one way to do something! If you’d open up that narrow mind of yours, you’d see that things could work just as well (if not better) when done in other ways!
Is there a reason for everything? You seem to think there is… I personally don’t think that everything has to have a reason! It would be nice, sure… but sometimes things have no rhyme or reason to them, and that’s the way it is in this world! (for example, why people kill their own children)
Don’t assume I know eveything… and especially not about people I have never seen before in my life! “Why is that girl standing in the middle of the sidewalk?” is a very dumb question, in my opinion. And don’t ask if I know strangers (or if I have seen them before) that we pass by in the car! The short answer is bound to be “NO!”… and you don’t want to know what the long answer would be! (something like “No, I’ve never seen that person before in my life… now will you at least ask me something sane?”)
On the subject of stupid questions, why do you always ask if I missed you? The short answer is, “Very little”! Not that I don’t miss you and the family, but sometimes you can get on my nerves, so I’m very happy to escape from you!
Also on that subject, why do you ask me things that I obviously don’t know? (to make your anger justified) No, I don’t know all the freaking films Harrison Ford starred in, and in which years! If you really want to know this stuff, I suggest you look it up on the Internet! (which really isn’t that hard to do, despite your having an email account that you have no clue how to use… I don’t know why you got it in the first place)
Why do you insist that I am always impatient and rude on the phone when I talk to you? I certainly don’t think so! And if I am, well… sometimes I don’t want to talk to you! Besides, don’t keep me on the phone for long periods of time! I might actually want to make other phone calls to other people, and the time might be getting late! (like that time you called me at 10:55 on a Saturday night last summer, and I had to call Eric before 11:10… you insisted on keeping me on the phone till 11:05, as I recall) Whenever I say that I have to make other phone calls, you always ask who I’ll be calling… sometimes, it’s none of your business! Even if it was, would I necessarily be telling you? NO!
***To my brother: ***Overall, I think you’re a good dude, but do you really have to sit on me evey time you come in the house and see me? It’s very irritating, particularly if I’m trying to read something!
Why do you and my sister have to sing Christmas carols year-round? Yes, I appreciate the fact that the spirit of Christmas should optimally be celebrated all through the year, but does that really mean that you have to sing “O Come, All Ye Faithful” at the dinner table one week before Easter? (even more annoying is my sister singing “Joy to the World” in the shower in the middle of August, but that’s another topic) You even did it in front of Minli, who obviously didn’t know what she was in for!
***To my sister: ***Why do you have to insist on being a “Mini-Mom”? Mom’s irritating enough without having a younger edition of her in the house! I know you don’t agree with her on everything, so why give her that impression? Yes, it might make her feel better, but really! Personally, I think it smacks of “sucking up” to her! In fact, most of the complaints I’ve made about her could apply just as well to you, too!
Why do you have to sing Christmas carols, Celine Dion songs, “Moulin Rouge” tunes, and all of that kind of thing? I realize you like them, but do you really have to try to break resonance frequency (as you say you are trying to do) in the car every time we go somewhere?
On the subject of your behavior in the car, why do you open the window (when it’s far too cold for it to be opened, in my opinion) and scream out the window: “I love my sister!” to anybody and everybody on the streets? (especially when we’re at a crosswalk and there are pedestrians waiting to cross) You say that people can’t hear you when the car is moving because of the Doppler effect… that may be so, but what about when we’re stopped at a traffic light? Your friends have even witnessed this bizarre behavior… doesn’t that make you feel odd?
Stop asking me whether I missed you! Especially, stop saying things like: “I know you missed me; I could hear you crying yourself to sleep in your apartment!” Your friends have heard you say variations on this theme and think it’s funny, but if they were to ask me, I’d say it wasn’t funny at all! While we’re on the subject, just because I happen to call the house and speak to you does NOT mean I missed you! I may have simply wanted to know something, or talk to our brother (who is never home).
Speaking of our brother, why do you insist I favor him over you? I am not doing “a Grandma thing” where I think that males are intrinsically better than females! Yes, I happen to like him better than you at the moment, but that may change! (may not change for an appreciable period of time, but it could change!) he’s not quite as irritating as you are; I can “get” his humor; and there are so many other things! I just can’t think of them right now!
Don’t you dare try and get me into trouble! If you think I’m obsessed with the Internet and ICQ, that’s your problem; it’s defintely not mine! I personally don’t think I am! And if you think that getting me in trouble with Mom will earn you brownie points, fine… but I personally don’t think that’s a very good way to go about getting them!
However, I’ve grown so used to her referring to it as “a free bus pass” that I’m not surprised that I think of it that way myself sometimes! Next time she refers to it as one, I think I’ll set her straight!