OK, so a couple of years ago I worked for a boss who when he was nervous would pull at his crotchal area, like a 7-year-old boy with issues. I don’t know if he cut down on that or if I started to tune it out, but I got past it and eventually left the job and not because of that.
Last week or so we got a new consultant who is cute as can be and just a little on the arrogant side, which my insecure self responds interestingly to. Yum. Anyhoo, he comes over to ask about something and is standing in my doorway and quite obviously…adjusts himself. Drat. Another one! I’m looking at my monitor but he’s right beyond it; does he think I and the other woman in the office don’t have peripheral vision??
Fellows, is it a matter of life and death and such urgency that you would take a chance at folks looking at you askance?
I worked with a package adjustor for a while. Fucker did it nearly every time I interacted with him. Sorry, but there’s something wrong with a guy like that.
In his defense, the male urge to adjust and scratch is a very potent, even primeval force. Although having learned to climb out of the muck and rub a few twigs together ought to have imparted a certain level of social grace upon this half of the species, there are certain times at which the matter may become overwhelmingly urgent such that one quite simply must attend to it. Discretion is always advised of course, but not always practical, and in some cases the perpetrator may just be a little overconfident that his manipulations are going unnoticed.
When my junk becomes discombobulated, it is very uncomfortable. I’d rather have someone giving me a titty twister than sit through a meeting un-dis-discombobulated.
You have to (as Barney says) nip that kind of behavior “in the bud”!
You should have stood up, both arms akimbo, stared him down and informed him that such behavior isn’t tolerated in your office!
I don’t really have an opinion either way (other than tell you I wouldn’t do it in front of a lady), but you just afforded me the opportunity to use two of my favorite obscure words in a post!!!
Thanks!!!
Quasi
PS: That’s right, I don’t have much going on today!
Well, I haven’t seen men do this very often (in public), but, being a man myself, my first guess would be that it has something to with adjusting themselves. My guess is that the men who do this are wearing boxer shorts, and their johnsons might not always stay to the side that’s most comfortable for that particular guy (most guys, I think, prefer to “dress” to either the right or the left). (I wear boxers myself, and though I don’t tend to have that problem, it occurs to me that other guys could.)
Of course, there might also be some scrotal itch going on, but being as that’s generally not an issue for me, I can’t speak to it. And if that’s an issue for other men? Sorry, can’t help you there.
Is is life or death important? Well, comfort-wise, it could seem that way in the moment. I mean, if your penis is in a position that truly doesn’t suit you (I’d be very uncomfortable if mine shifted from one side to the other of its own accord), it can drive you batshitcrazy to the point where it’s difficult to think of anything else. Ideally, the dude would be able to wait until he was a in a position–no pun intended–where no one could witness the readjustment, but…well, unless you have a penis yourself, it’s difficult to explain.
Of late, the only times (i.e., REALLY few) that I’ve had to re-adjust in semi-public and run the (calculatedly small) risk of being noticed have been when I’ve felt that my cock ring was slipping to the extent that it was about to extricate itself, fall down my pant leg, and plop itself out onto the ground–clink-clink-roll-down-the-sidewalk–while I was walking down the street. (Trust me, after that happens just once, you learn to take some risks and hope that no one catches you rectifying the problem. And can I just add that my wish is to be able to get one custom-fitted so that I don’t have to worry about this kind of slippage?) So, I don’t know. Maybe dude’s wearing a cock ring that’s slipping. I can’t be the only one!
Yeah, I know–the c. ring stuff was probably TMI, but what can I say? (Besides that I warned you?) I just reckon that I’m in that kind of a sharing mood today.
Oh, and who knows? Perhaps dude is trying to tell you something. If he’s as cute as can be and all that, well… . Lord knows, the way things have been going for me lately, I wouldn’t mind watching a little bit of re-adjustment.
Dudes itch. Scratch your head. Did it itch before? No? Good. It felt good, didn’t it? That’s about as good an analogy you chicks can get.
Then again, sometimes the sac just kinda sits on the inside of the thigh and it needs a nice tug to the middle. Who wants to be bunched up? Imagine if your titties were all smushed around to one side. It’d be crazy!
Well, absent-mindedly adjusting oneself is different than a crude Michael Jackson/Madonna crotch grab.
Women frequently tug at their clothes to adjust them. Men just happen to have a lot of junk down there and if your slacks are bunching or pinching it can be downright uncomfortable.
I just recently got my son out of the habit of adjusting himself in public, (he did it alot). While Christmas shopping lastweek, I caught him doing the alternative. He spread his knees apart, then did kind of a squat while doing a bump and grind thing. :o
Just be thankful your coworker doesn’t do THAT.
Well, in the opinion of others (who shall remain nameless–not that I got, or even remember, that many names to begin with), it’s not all *that * apropros! (My username is a nickname that I was given as a child by some of the folks back home in S.C. There was a predecessor Pluck–alav ha-shalom, may he rest in peace–and I was nicknamed after him.)
Why would I wear it all the time?
Well, for one thing, I really like how it looks. The contrast of the silver metal against my skin (I’m a nice chocolate brown complexion) is kinda cool, I think. The other, and perhaps more obvious, reason has to do with the effect that such, uhhh, jewelry can have on the wearer. I especially like that part! Also, it can feel…oh, I don’t know, a little bit “naughty”. (I once had a guy say to me, “Oh, you wear a yarmulke **and ** a cock ring?!”)
And, to be honest, it’s not an everyday accessory for me. Whether or not I wear it depends mostly on how I’m feeling on that particular day, in addition to how accurately I can guage just how cooperative the damn thing is going to be in terms of not forcing me to make adjustments throughout the day. It’s a tricky science, and I haven’t found a sure-fire answer, so it very often remains a hit-or-miss proposition for me.
Hmm…this reminds me of the behavior of one of my team members this semester. We had a group meeting at night, and this guy had apparently just left the gym; he arrived wearing a grotty t-shirt and some filmy gym shorts. When he sat down, the outline of his junk was very visible through the material. And he kept poking at it. He was sitting toward the back, so he probably figured no one would notice, but still…I thought it was a bit odd.
