You, sir, are clearly a man of taste and distinction who shall fare well in the new order.
Fenris, Cecil II
I’d like to be the resident expert on completely valueless drive-by SDMB postings.
that’d be right handy of you.
It is true that “imitation is the sincerest form of flattery”, and I’m sure he is heartened when we strive to “be like Cecil”. But I also cannot believe that thinly veiled plots to supplant The Master are welcomed, and in fact such activities must be actively discouraged.
We all stand at the ready to help Cecil out in any possible way. But I suspect that when that call comes, it will be something on the order of “I need someone to shovel my driveway so I can get to the library” – not “I want someone to stand in front of me in the spotlight – I’ll be happy here in the shadows”. There is a huge difference between wanting to “walk in Cecil’s shoes”, and running off with them and throwing them over a power line.
“Little Ed” already exists. Do we really need – this is a rhetorical question – an invasion of “Little Cecil’s”?
That just earned you a corner office. 
And could someone throw Whitetho into the scorpion pits, please? Thanks! 
Fenris, Cecil II
Fen, er, Cecil II, we’ve finished re-excavating and remodeling the basement of your mountain fortress, at your request. It is now an extremely narrow, jagged line, such that each office appears to be situated on a “corner.” We’ve installed the windows in each per your specifications; earthworms and various burrowing insects can be seen through them. The Tandy TRS-80s and 1200 bps modems are on backorder. Have you any further instructions, sir?
Do not forget you have several Librarians on this board.
Everyone knows Libraries control all Knowledge.
Only as long as they are connected to L-Space, and with those TRS-80’s and 1200 baud modems Wisest Novel installed, I’m not to sure about that…
Blasphemy!
This is how schisms get started.
There can be only one Cecil.
Iam surprised. I would have thought that Whitetho would have posted by now a clearly thought-out treatise purporting to prove that Fenris is really Ed Zotti’s sock puppet.
There is but one Cecil, but Fenris is his Metatron.
Fenris
I, like most, am intrigued by this idea of the board being overrun by a swarm of synthetic Cecils. But beware of negative
influences – the distractions of Hubris – which seek to lead us astray from Cecil’s golden path.
If you suffered, even for an instant, from the delusion that you could somehow match the wit, insight, and inspiration of an official Cecil Adams masterwork, wouldn’t you become filled with shame, unwilling to show your face? Would you not cry out to the heavens for the earth to swallow you up? (Suicide is of course the “sincerest form of self-criticism”, but that would be extreme. A communal shunning, perhaps.) And wouldn’t you, in penitence, rush to a bookstore near you, and buy up all of the Straight Dope books you could afford, until you drained your bank account?
I don’t want this to disintegrate into a “Who Loves Cecil More” contest – not that I’d be afraid of losing. We could follow the erratic, tumbling lead of a loose cannon. But my dream – the shared dream of all the Teeming Millions – is to someday be “seated at the right hand of Cecil”. On the 50-yard line.
I’m surprised you haven’t been struck by Thor’s hammer, Mjollnir, yet. Blasphemer.
Shouldn’t that be “There is but one Cecil, and Fenris is his Metatron” ?
Perhaps Cecil’s Metatron needs an EdZotti.
Isn’t this how Lucifer got his start? Leading Beelzebub, Belial, Mammon and the boys on a jealous revolt against God, only to be cast down through chaos into the burning lake of hell?
I feel like I’m watching the creation of Pandamonium by Mulciber right now.
And the next thing you know, Fenris will be sleeping with his daughter, she’ll give birth to Death, and Zotti’ll be getting crucified.
Blasphemy, all blasphemy.
stv
btw, Fenris, if you need a Milton expert, I’m available.
stv seems too easily seduced.
Thankfully, the fact that I am an expert in nothing will save me.
Fenris, I have a concern.
Let’s say that your plan is put into effect. What with all the people who gain cabinet positions, who’s going to do all the Teeming? Ya’ see, as one of the few people around here with no usefull knowledge, I’m afraid it will all fall into my hands. ANd while my Teeming Powers are quite advanced, I just don’t have the ability to Teem for the Millions.
UncleBeer: What if I make you my expert on Guns and alcohol? (Not at the same time, of course.) And the art of getting babes. By the bucketful: Surely you’d share your vast knowledge of these fields with the poor benighted masses.
Arnold: I felt the change in words would avoid any hint of blasphemy. And artistic license.
Stv: Yer on, Milton-boy!
Robb: see below
** Trion**: The answer to your question is Robb. He shall also Teem and between the two of you, a mighty throng of Teeming Millions will be born! (Also the people in Cabinet Posts will be able to Teem outside their specialties)
Fenris, Cecil II
Okay, I’m just a newbie, but I want in.
Can I be the janitor or something? I can change lightbulbs, and I know where they keep the mop buckets and the jugs of that green disinfectant stuff.
Or I could park cars. Or mow the lawn. Or something.
Please. Throw me a bone.
Clearly, if Fenris is going to be Cecil II, then the order of succession calls for someone to step in as Fenris II. Obviously, as Fenris will be occupied in the discharge of his Cecilian (Cecilesque?) duties, all things Fenrisian will suffer if no replacement for the ur-Fenris is named.
I offer my services as Fenris II. As my blanxian duties do not occupy a great deal of time, I feel that I am ready and able to assume the Fenrisian mantle, and act in his stead.
blanx