Snerk! Her head is her cite! 
The 5 year old just came over to the table with two tubes she’d made out of construction paper, and informed my SO that if he got one tube, he’d win, but the other tube was for the loser. He asked for a little clarification on the actual rules of play, and she looked confused, thought about it, and said, “It’s a game. It’s called iTube…there’s an app for that!”
'zactly!
Ah, kid stuff. Takes me back …
The older grand-daughter, aged around 20 months, had a large collection of Disney-esque videos (as the first grandchild on both sides of the family, she was thought of a lot). She was quite adept at operating the VCR on her own.
But her absolute, top favourite video was the ‘Copy Bideo’ which came with daddy’s new espresso machine. She would watch it over and over, fascinated - though I don’t think she tried to use the information from the video on the machine itself.
At the age of four, on her first plane trip, she sat for an hour studying the illustrations on the ‘what to do if the plane ditches’ sheets tucked into the seat pocket. I’m certain she would have organized us all because She Knew What To Do.
an seanchai
A young cousin (5 yo) was in my sister’s wedding years ago. At the rehearsal, he got up to the altar with his pillow and tugged on the pastor’s pants and asked “So, when do I get to growl?” 
When asked why he thought he needed to growl during the wedding, he said “I AM the “ring bear”, and that’s what bears do. GRRrrrrrrr.”:smack:
You’ve never seen my husband’s cousin’s daughter! She was very upset that only her big brother got to pee outside standing up, so she figured out that if she was totally naked from the waist down, she could stand with her feet shoulder-width apart, stick her hips forward, and let it fly just like him.
Or she could just use one of these Easily Maneuvered Stand To Pee Device | The pStyle or these http://www.go-girl.com/
My 8YO son sent a text message from my wifes phone to mine:
“I look in your eyes because I love you.”
My 4YO twins learned to ride their bikes and were proud and happy to be riding around an empty parking lot. Twinnette stops to talk to us, and Twinster tumbles off his bike on the other side of the parking lot. Twinnette hops on her bike and rides off yelling “To the rescue!”
My nephew had trouble pooping from an early age when he was constipated. It hurt and he tended to save it up, which hurt and associated pooping with pain. When he was 2 we were preparing to go out somewhere and asked if he needed to poop. He said, “No, I’m all done.” He had not just gone, he was DONE with pooping.
8YO Son, yesterday:
“Maaa! My homework wants me to spell ‘park’ backwards. That says ‘crap’!”
My 12 YO at dinner after I found out that I didn’t get an interim administration position at my college I had been hoping to get:
“Well, since it’s an interim position they would expect the permanent person to do a better job than the temporary person and they were worried you’d set the bar too high.”
It was a really sweet moment.
Almost forgot: last week, the 6 year old came home from school having learned all about MLK day. I asked him to tell me what he learned.
“Dad, there was this great man, and his name was Martin Loo (dramatic pause) THE KING!”
It was a struggle to keep the laughs in.
Uh uh. My friend’s daughter, after being taunted by an older boy, came up to her mother and I as we were talking and demanded to know why the boy would say only boys could pee standing up. Mom said, "Because it is true, E—, you need a penis to do that. E— said, “You’re wrong, I can do it too.” And she proceeded to remove her pants, grab her parts and pee in an arc while standing on one leg. We were dumbfounded but very proud of her. She was 5 at the time. She just graduated from law school.
This happened many years ago, and it still cracks me up.
My daughter and her cousin were in the same room, playing separately. Both around five years old.
Cousin (singing to himself): “A B C D E F G, H, I, L AND O AND Q, D, E, AND X, Y, Z…Now I know my ABCs…”
Daughter (looking up, wide-eyed): “NO YOU DON’T!!”
mmm
When my 2 year old son falls down, he says “I’m ok! I’m ok!”
While playing guns with my boyfriend: when the boyfriend got shot and “died”, my son assured him “You’re ok!”
When he hits his head, he tells me “I bonked my noggin!” then, when I kiss it better, he always asks me to “kiss da noggin again?” Melts my heart every time.
One day while my then 8 year old was playing Wii tennis she was having trouble hitting the ball. The game frustrated her and she declared “There’s a hole in my racket!” Now everyone says that when we’re frustrated with video games.
Two days ago the 6 year old wrote a book. It’s called “The Book of Cuteness.” It has a table of contents: Chapter 1, Kittens; Chapter 2, puppies; Chapter 3, Squirrels. She’s right. It is the book of cuteness although the cute is more hers than the animals.
I love that one I just wish MLK’s dream was true today.
Last night a baby was crying on TV in the background while Josie was eating dinner. She turned around, said “Baby crying! I give it hug!” and reached out to hug the TV.
She loves blueberries in a ridiculous way, but can’t pronounce the word. This leads to many nights of “More boobies, Mama! I want boobies! Boobies please!”
I was driving with TheKid (age 17), GrandNiece #1 (age 10) and GrandNiece #2 (age 6) in the back seat. As usual, TheKid was plugged into her iPod. GN#1 asked to listen, so TheKid put some Bieber on and GN#1 started singing. Not to be left out, of course, GN#2 started whining, wanting “her turn” at the iPod. TheKid decided to put on some screamo crud. I feel a kick on the back of my seat, look in the mirror to see my GrandNiece throwing devil horns, headbanging. She is so not a devil horns/handbanging kind of girl, so I asked where she learned to do that? “Oh, you know, just everywhere”.
A few weeks before Christmas my 4 y.o. nephew was showing my mom a remote control car I had given him for his birthday.
“This is from Aunt Mimi,” he announced.
“No,” my brother told him. “That’s from Auntie Tess.”
“I know!”
“Why’d you just tell Grandma it was from Aunt Mimi?”
“'Cause Aunt Mimi’s easier to say.”
My dad told me this one recently - he was in a school talking to a class of four year-olds (that’s part of his job, before you ask!) and one of them asked him if he was a grandpa. He said that he wasn’t, and the kid replies “Oh. You won’t know my Grandpa, then.” “No, I wouldn’t,” he agrees. “Because all grandpas know each other,” continues the kid. “Oh, really? Why is that then?”. “Because they’ve all got the same name.”
You really couldn’t make it up!
Josie loves to scroll through all the pictures on my iPhone, most of which are of her. The other day she got to a picture of her with her grandfather and her great grandma Jackie. I pointed at her. “Who’s that?” “Josie.” I pointed to grandpa. “Who’s that?” “Grandpa.”
Jackie was next. “Who’s that?” “Grandma Jacket.”