The Littlest Briston spends her days at a local in-home day care, but the woman who runs it was on vacation yesterday. Hey, great…spend a day off of with my little girl? Don’t have to ask me twice. The only caveat was that I had an important conference call with my boss and all the members of my team, so I’d have to be “working” for about an hour. Shouldn’t be a problem…throw on an hour-long episode of Dora, make sure she’s got a good stack of paper and markers, and she’ll be fine, plus I could just pop my head in now and then to make sure everything is ok.
Now, I’m using my house phone with the handset on “speaker”. We’re getting deep into the meeting, when I come to an inescapable conclusion: I gotta use the bathroom. #2. No getting around it, this will not wait until after the meeting.
Ok, no need for panic, I’ll just put the phone on mute and do my busi…hey, where the hell is the mute button?! Aw, damnit…we have the one phone manufactured in the last 10 years without a mute function. Ah well…I’ll just be as quiet as possible.
So, I’m sitting there doing my business while my team drones on about the company’s business, when <creeeeeeeak>…the door opens. The Littlest Briston is standing there staring at me, and I’m viciously pantomiming for her to be absolutely silent, and to get back into the living room.
I don’t know that this one in incredibly cute, but I’m amused. My 5yo daughter is currently obsessed with Star Wars. Today she asked me to do her hair in Princess Leia buns, so I gave her two braids and kind of rolled them up and clipped them. She’s thrilled. She’s now wearing a long white cotton slip, has a white blanket on her head, and is doing her best impression–“Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope!”
This is probably a cute grandma story rather than a cute kid story, but I’ll tell it anyway.
Please note, words written in all caps were painstakingly spelled out so that the cute kids would not hear and understand them–not that they were listening anyway.
The Setting: my brother’s in-ground swimming pool–which had Grandma and two grandkids in it. Brother was checking the skimmers and disposing of debris, including in this case, a small corpse.
Brother: You do not want to know what I just found in there.
Grandma: a FROG?
G: a SNAKE?
G: a BIRD?
B: No–it had FUR.
(Pause while Grandma digests this).
G: an RAT?
G: a BUNNY?
B (with disgusted look): No.
G: a MOLE?
(At least, I think it was a small mole or shrewtype creature he found–I didn’t see it myself, and really it wasn’t so much the specific creature he found as the length of time spent in the guessing game which made it funny.)
My 3 year old niece was watching our game of Dominos from a seat adjacent to Grandma, and was helping to pick out and turn over tiles for Grandma to play with when she suddenly said “Lookie, Grandma, That un’s Nakie” ( Nakie–Naked. The domino in question was the double blank. Which is information Grandma hadn’t planned on sharing until she got a chance to play the double blank.)
The little Torqueling has just turned 16 months. She’s at the stage where she repeats everything she hears in little-girlish. The best ones are when she imitates my wife. She’ll repeat, slowly and dramatically, “oh…my…goodness!” And when Mrs. Torque picks her up and opens a book to read, she usually starts off with, “Let’s see…” which is immediately followed by a little-girl “let’s see…” hehe.
And a few months ago, she started calling flies “birds”. She’d point and say, “Bird! Bird!” Well, they do both fly around, I guess… but now she’s gotten over that, and she calls them “bees”.
The latest, of course, is “toot”. You gotta be careful not to fart around her, because she’ll let everyone know. “Toot!” And, if you flush the toilet or drop a diaper into her pail, she says, “bye bye stinky!”
That is awesome speech development for 16 months! I am impressed.
My daughter is 4, and it’s quite funny when she says things she hears me say. “Oh my goodness!” is a big one for her. And yesterday, I said something to her about Pooh Bear, and she said, quite seriously, “Speaking of Pooh Bear, did you know that Piglet is his best friend?” Something about it just cracked me up.
Hee, hee. When my son was little, at first we only had two videotapes, Yellow Submarine and Return of the Jedi. Somehow, my son got his wires crossed, and was convinced that the bad guy’s name in Star Wars was “Ele-Vader.”
My favorite brujajaboy story is from when he was really small, about two. I had just made some fresh pesto, which we both really liked, and as it was a beautiful summer evening, I brought him & our two bowls out to the front porch to eat. I handed him his bowl – and the first thing he did was to spear a corkscrew noodle with his fork, and put it in my mouth. I was so touched.
I was at the grocery store. There were a mom and her young daughter, maybe 5 or 6. and a couple of older men walking together, and me. I was following the men, who I think were together, the mom and daughter were stopped at the opposite end of the aisle with a shopping cart. The mom told her daughter to please move beside the cart so these two gentlemen and this lady can get past us. The girl shyly looked up and moved over, one of the men was so charmed by her that he spoke to her and told her thank you and what a good girl she was. At this point, her whole expression changed to anger. She looked that man right in the eye and said (emphasis on the words in caps) " I am NOT a GOOD GIRL!!! THAT’S what WE call the DOG!!!" Oh if looks could kill. What a glare on that little girl.
Maybe you had to be there, but all of us just cracked up. We all did our best to hide it from the girl, but she did notice and was not amused by our mirth. I left the aisle asap and laughed all the way home. Poor baby, I know she wasn’t happy with us.
When my now eight year old was a toddler, about two and a half, he was in his stroller and I was walking along pushing it. I felt a fart build up, and on looking around I thought I was far enough away from anyone to let it drop. Unfortunately an unexpectedly large raspberry noise issued forth, and my son didn’t help by whipping his head round and saying in amazement, “WHO DID THAT???”
One cute one the other day from my 12 year old, whose first language is not English, though we used it as a family language. We were watching some ducks on a pond, and he suddenly said in excitement, “Look Mummy, that one’s just gone in its duck-sty!”
My brother’s FiL died last Saturday - nothing unexpected, after almost 3 years with very-rapid ALS.
At some point during the funeral (I wasn’t there), The Nephew, who will be 3yo in October, announced that he was all out of kisses. The poor tyke had been having to kiss over 200 people at that time by Mom’s count, of which he’d met previously perhaps 50.
My two children, ages 8 and 10, were having some discussion in the backseat of the truck. I have no idea of what they were discussing ( cheat codes, skill levels of various pokemon, Pirate/Ninja Debate) but I heard my son say,
" I wasn’t looking for an answer, that was a rhetorical question."
Overheard by my sister and told to me just yesterday:
My 8 yr old niece was having a discussion with a friend about freckles. The other little girl said, “Freckles are angel kisses!” DN–who has freckles in certain various locations–didn’t comment on this to her friend, but later told her 11 yr old sister scornfully, “Why would angel want to kiss my butt?”