I just watched another Simpson episode and was amazed at the Jesus reference. What happened was Homer got cursed by a Gypsy and Homer ends up at Moe’s. Here is what happens next:(not verbatium)
Lenny: To get rid of the curse you need a leprechaun.
Carl: Yeah, that or Jesus.
Lenny: Yeah, Jesus is like 6 leprechauns but he is harder to catch. (I may have this backwards)
(I looked at snpp.com but they didn’t have the episode up yet so I can’t quote the words exactly)
I still find it amazing that the Simpsons gets away with these quotes. I am an atheist BTW, but I am still shocked that the Simpsons can get away with these kind of jokes. I find them to be really funny but, at the same time, I am suprised that various churches don’t bitch about the references.
Homer: In order to get into heaven, I have to do a good deed!!
Marge: A good deed? I’ve got plenty! You can paint the garage, do the vacuuming …
Homer: Woah, woah, woah! I just wanna get in, I’m not running for Jesus!!
Bart: Dad, what religion are you?
Homer: It’s that one with all those well-meaning rules that don’t work out in real life … oh, Christianity.
…does anyone remember the exact words to the one about Jesus’ shoes? All I remember is the following (paraphrased):
Marge: Homer, Jesus wore sandals!
Homer: Well, maybe if he had better arch support, they wouldn’t have caught him.
The one where Bart and Lisa are playing a board game over at Flanders’ place, and their lack of knowledge regarding the Bible leads him to conduct an emergency baptism.
Ned asks Bart a “Who am I?” type question, with clues like “Six arms, horns…” and Bart guesses “Jesus?” Hilarity ensues.
I love the episode where Lisa grows a civilization of tiny people in a petri dish.
Lisa: They’re nailing something to the cathedral door…I’ve created Lutherans!
Rev. Lovejoy: "Homer, I’d like you to remember Matthew 7:26.
“A foolish man who who built his house on sand.’’”
Homer: “And YOU remember… Matthew … 21:17!”
Rev. Lovejoy: “And he left them and went out of the city into Bethany and he lodged there’’?”
Homer: “Yeah… Think about it!”
Homer: “Hey Apu I see you’re not in church.”
Apu: “But I am. I have a shrine to Ganesha, the god of worldly wisdom, located in the employee lounge.”
Homer: "Hey, Ganesha. Wanna peanut?’’
Api: “Please do not offer my god a peanut.”
When Reverend Lovejoy advises Marge to get a divorce, she asks “Isn’t that a sin?”
Rev. Lovejoy- Marge, pretty much everything is a sin these days. Have you ever actually sat down and read this thing? (indicates bible) Technically, we’re not even supposed to go to the bathroom.
The one where Marge and Homer lose custody of the kids to the Flanders, and Homer goes to get the kids back, and finds that the Flanders’ aren’t home. Trying to figure out where they might have gone, Homer thinks, “I’m a big fat doody-head.” and then shouts, “The Springfield river!” which is where Flanders is attempting to perform a baptismal. Homer dives for Bart as the water from Flanders’s chalice is about to strike Bart on the head.
Bart has wrecked Abe’s dentures when Abe fell asleep while babysitting. Homer and Marge come home and Bart, pretending to be innocent, jumps onto the couch and grabs a random book, pretending to be quiety reading.
Bart: Boy, time really flies when you’re reading… [sees what he’s holding] The Bible!? Ewww…
Bart has wrecked Abe’s dentures when Abe fell asleep while babysitting. Homer and Marge come home and Bart, pretending to be innocent, jumps onto the couch and grabs a random book, pretending to be quiety reading.
Bart: Boy, time really flies when you’re reading… [sees what he’s holding] The Bible!? Ewww…