BratMan? Sorry, sorry…I had this pesky little thing called “work” to attend to. But I’m here for ya’ now, boss! Listen, it would make my job a lot easier if you don’t eat unfamilliar sandwiches and the like. Remember: Sandwiches are DOMESTIC. They do not grow in the wild.
:::carefully cuts BratMan loose, being sure not to drop him on his head:::
Now, first for the boar hunting you…
:::releases killer attack robo-boar prettily dressed up Bugs Bunny-style like a female so as to lure wild boar and then kill it once “she” has him in her clutches:::
Now, while Smoothie is distracted by remorse for water balooning Narile now that he has left the battle, time to get some licks in!
:::blasts Smoothie off feet with fire hose:::
As for dpr, we’ll have to come up with something completley devious in return for the sandwich/rope trap bit. Any ideas? Meanwhile, I think purple is still lurking about somewhere…
Thank you, sweetie. Now I have business to attend to. And by the way:
NOT TRUE! There happens to be a tuna salad sandwich bush on the other side of the pond.
>>walks purposefully into the trees. Emerges again 30 minutes later, fully dressed now (sorry about the nakedness before, I don’t know what got into me) in his old Air Force battle dress uniform, ready for war.<<
OK, cretins! Who wants some?
>>unleashes his M-60 water rifle into the fray, drenching anyone within his line of sight<<
um, Bratman, you did notice that the aforementioned cleavages were not just wet, but cold? Um, sorry, didn’t mean to re-glaze you there… glaze… umm, donuts…
Finally making her way back out of the trees, where she has spent the night and part of the day getting out of the scummy pond and walking through the woods, purplebear is in no mood for any more such nonsense from BratMan. Spying him spraying everyone in sight with his M-60 water rifle, she sneaks up behind him quietly, and dumps a shirtful of pond scummy water all over his head and his nice battle dress ugly uniform. Evil Grin!
Then she turns on Chronos, for pointing out the obvious. Wait, did she actually say pointing! :eek:
Hi, Sunshine, I’m right here! She picks up a water gun someone had dropped and hits her squarely in the back…
Now, where are the showers around here?
Good morning purplebear and sunshine. Did you see the Sale sign over there? It says dry clothes. :I know it’s a trap, but dpr has been waiting for someone to fall in for awhile. Let’s spring it and put him in there: Maybe we should check out the sale.
Incidentally PB, that was a good one. Bratman didn’t know what hit him. And Sunshine, that’s the second time that you’ve helped Bratman and he’s turned on you. Do you see a pattern here? Here, you two help me move Chronos out of the way until he’s recovered his senses.
Don’t listen to him sunshine, I never turned on you this last time. I fired on everything in my line of sight, but since you are my trusty sidekick, naturally I told you I was gonna come out of the woods firing, so when you saw me you hit the deck and were safe from the M-60 water rifle.
I only got you that one time cuz your shirt was getting really dry.
Look It’s a plane, no it’s a B-52 and MR BEAR is pissed, too many people picking on is wife and he’s not there to enjoy ,…I mean help her. So while very body is looking up, he releases his payload of 1000 water balloons, 1000 jello ballons, and just for good measure 1000 pudding balloons.:eek Flying off into the wild blue yonder, he is heard to say play fair, or send pictures, or I’ll be back!
Good morning, Smoothie. Thanks, I try. I had to get him back for dumping me into that pond! I agree, let’s put dpr in there, and check out the sale too. Let’s pull Chronos over here into the shade.
BratMan, likely story, sure. I believe you.
Just then, she hears the sound of her hubby’s plane, and ducks back into the trees and waits to see the fun start! After his drop, she runs out and waves up at him. Thanks, honey!!
Looking around, she sees all of the other women covered with water and pudding, and the guys covered with water and jello. Hmmmmmmmmm…this could be fun!
Then she goes to help Smoothie up and looks around for the other women to help them up too. The guys are on their own, especially Brat! Just kidding, dear. Here, let me help you up now. Oops! I slipped in the jello and pudding, didnt mean to drop you again.
::: stumbling from the force of purple’s direct hit :::
OOF!
::: clearing throat authoritatively :::
Okay, BratMan…I believe you. But can we get something straight here? As your trusty sidekick, I am required to warn you of certain dangers, extract you from sticky situations, generally ‘get your back’ and the like. I promise to do all those things, plus maintain an appropriately damp and heaving bosom, as long as you attempt to take my advice and reciprocate on the rescuing when needed. That said, Trust me on the sandwich thing! I have yet to succumb to dpr’s ridiculous ‘SALE’ trap, so I know a crafty ‘tuna-sandwich-bush’ trap when I see one! ( dpr, I may be a mere sidekick, but how dumb do you think I am?)
::: grabbing Chronos’s leg and dragging :::
Look, Smoothie, the sidekick-hero relationship is a very complicated thing. There may be times when the hero seems to betray the sidekick, but the sidekick faithfully and trustingly believes that the hero is always looking out for the sidekick’s best interests. No matter how often he turns and drenches the sidekick’s cleavage. Really.
You can’t just say you’re going to the doctor and say it’s a routine thing without telling us what it is!! Of course we’re gonna worry, what if you’re just saying that so we don’t worry, but something is really wrong? Please tell us why so we don’t really worry!
(Unless it’s for one of those feminine-type problems, I don’t need to hear about that)
>>Throws water balloons at purplebear’s back when she turns away to go to the doctor, then vanishes into the trees, invisible to the naked eye thanks to his camoflauged uniform.<<
VB, Narile had to go to work but I think that his trebuchet is down in this hole. :smoothie points to the tiger trap that dpr had set up for the women water warriors: Why don’t you see if it’s still in working order?
Bratman, I am a woman. Just because I don’t flash my damp cleavage at you doesn’t mean that I don’t have cleavage. Check out my signature. Sarah is a woman’s name. I forgive you tho’.
Sunshine I have to go home. I don’t have web access from home, so you are on your own. Maybe PB or Anti Pro will be back soon. Don’t let Bratman and VB gang up on you.
Sigh. Ok, ok. I have badly pulled the Deltoid tendon in my left shoulder, it will take about 6wks to heal. My bruises are bad from my fall <see my weight loss thread for details if you’re interested> but not too severe, considering. He changed my antinflammatory meds again, and everything else is just fine. He’s very happy at my 30lb wt loss! <See, Brat, no 'feminine-type things today ;)>
Back to the action:
Reeling from the last attack by BratMan, purplebear runs off in the direction of the showers again, only to stop at the sight of VB looking for more ammo. Gotta do something about that, she mutters sweetly, and reaches for her guns, which have somehow materialized on the ground not far from the edge of the woods, where Brat is hiding…
Sneaking her way up behind VB, who is now leaning down reaching for something, and blasts him across his back with both barrels, knocking him over, base to apex <sound familiar, dear?> then she runs off to the showers, to take one with her clothes on, since she’s tired of changing clothes so much.
** Hey, purplepunkin, ** your hubby’s aim is excellent, no wonder he is such an ace!! ::::::::::::licking at pudding, :::::::hmmmmmm, nice! I love banana mixed with
chocolate! Also, this is hot work, and the sugar rush is a bit of a help too!
** Smoothie ** cut out, huh?? Summing up here, Sunshine is teamed with Lord of the Flybrats, some taste ya got there, Sunny!!
I’m going back for the fire hose, this place is a mess!!!
For the record: I am a native of GQ and Comments, just visiting MPSIMS. This means that I’m a logical and rational person (live long and prosper), and therefore not personally incapacitated by the sight of damp, cold, well-formed feminine anatomy. And Purple, I merely pointed that fact out to BratMan because I knew that he was not similarly rational, and that such mention would, in fact, incapacitate him, thereby protecting you and offering you the opportunity for the revenge of your choosing. hands PurpleBear a towell and an opaque raincoat If you honestly prefer that certain features not be pointed out, try these.
I honestly knew that! Sorry, I was typing faster than I was thinking.
>>Stands with hands behind back and eyes closed<<
Go ahead Smoothie, take a free shot at me.
**
I honestly wasn’t expecting her to answer! I was just playing. From now on, I’ll make sure to put a or or something after every I type that I don’t mean.
,…I mean help her. So while very body is looking up, he releases his payload of 1000 water balloons, 1000 jello ballons, and just for good measure 1000 pudding balloons.:eek Flying off into the wild blue yonder, he is heard to say play fair, or send pictures, or I’ll be back!
I believe you.