Let’s see. The song should be catchy, easy to remember, and annoying like a very loud housefly buzzing around inside your head.
How about:
*99 bottles of beer on the wall
99 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles should happen to fall
98 bottles of beer on the wall
98 bottles of beer on the wall…*
Or this fairly recent one:
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,
And they’re like,
It’s better than yours,
Damn right it’s better than yours,
I can teach you,
But i have to charge
This one was big this summer:
*A few times I’ve been around that track
So it’s not just gonna to happen like that
Because I ain’t no hollaback girl
I ain’t no hollaback girl *
Get these songs running through some nosy telepath’s head and I guarantee within a few hours, he’ll be wanting to re-enact the climax to the movie Pi.
Songs I like:
Leadbelly-Jump Down, Turn Around, Pick a Bale of Cotton
Janis Joplin-Me and Bobby McGee (it’s one of the few songs I know all the words to).
Bob Marley: Three Little Birds
Songs I hate:
Kylie Minogue-I Should Be So Lucky
Earworms:
Goldie Lookin’ Chain- Soapbar.
Ok, it’s a song about smoking bad quality hash, but it’s got brilliant lyrics:
" Most Soap Bar comes from f**king Holland,
They make it out of oil, and tires and pollen"
I can’t get it out of my head.
Songs to be played at high volume:
The Irish National Anthem… sung in Irish. Hah! that’ll confuse them!
Actually any loud, patriotic song would probably work.
Finally, may I suggest:
“I’ve got a song that’ll get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves, I’ve got a song that’ll get on your nerves, get on your, get on your nerves.”
Repeat ad nauseum.
Loud, catchy, and annoying? You want 1930s swing instrumental novelties. Hobo on Park Avenue, Business in Q, Casa Loma Stomp, Nitwit Serenade, Dusk in Upper Sandusky, that sort of thing.
In Bester’s The Demolished Man the main character throws some of his significant resources into finding out what is the most effective thing to block telepaths from reading his mind and they come up with – a commercial jingle. Apparently it will be good for a month, so long as it doesn’t drive him mad first.
I’ve had many earworms, but I’ve never had one that crowded everything else out of my head, to point of interfering with mental functioning. An earworm might be a nuisance to an intrusive telepath, but no more than that; if I’ve got an earworm but I’m still thinking, then the telepath can still read my thoughts.