Erm … I understand that poisons don’t mix with lab animals, but are you far enough away from the lab that you wouldn’t contaminate the animals? Maybe not.
Send your supervisor a strongly-worded request that somebody DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE DAMNED ANTS! Deny all knowledge of Lean Cuisine packages (that stuff’s all gone now, anyway.) Basically, make it somebody else’s problem. It won’t get rid of the ants, but at least you can curse someone else’s ineptness instead of THE DAMNED ANTS!
I did try to lead them into my bosses office. I did this a few times actually. Made a crumb trail that was deliberate to ants but undetectable to humans. What REALLY gets me is that between my office and the outside door (we’re ground level) there is the animal receiving room AND the feed room. Both of these rooms contain so many more delicious-to-ants items! They march in a perfect line right past them to my office!
Watch out for ant ninjas.
I had good results with ant traps from the grocery store. They’re little plastic disks with holes in the side for the ants to enter and eat the sweet, sweet poison. Larger animals aren’t in danger unless they chew through the plastic.
i really doubt they will let me have that
I’d stay away from the ant trap. A co-worker put one in my cube, thinking that he was doing me a kindness (I’ll just put this here, and it will keep ants away!). The trap attracted enough ants to almost warrant a visit from the Fire Department.
I couldn’t use ant spray, so I finally ended up using glass cleaner and all purpose spray lube. My original idea to use spray adhesive and a claw hammer was voted down by Management.
Use them on the ants or the co-worker?
You are truly hilarious!
Find their entry point or their point of origin and try cinnamon, and paprika or red pepper.
My mom swore by that. I recently bought my first home this summer and on, like, day 2, one of the landscaping mounds had been sponge-like by the colony. I have a dog and didn’t want to kill any nearby plants so I didn’t really want to break out the poison. I’ve heard to use diatomaceous earth, but was too lazy to go to the pool store, so I tried Mom’s home remedy. Their numbers diminished until, voila! No more ants. Have’t seen them since.
I know different species react differently to our various ammo, but it’s a worth a shot and inexpensive. Just dump a little pile wherever they’re entering the office,o r if you feel like venturing outside, attack the mound!
¡Vaya con Dios!
update: I was in another room and I bent over to tie my shoe and an ant fell off the leg of my pants. Nothing says “i’m a filthy animal” to your co-workers you want to impress by having insects fall off you
Dear filthy animal: go to their level. Bring a predator that you can coexist with. What about a praying mantis or twelve?
Step 1: Bring in predator
Step 2: <sounds of swift beatings at the hands of many unimaginable horrors…so don’t even try to imagine them.>
Yup-that’s that whole cycle o’ life I heard tell of.
I suggest diatemacous earth, too. Or ant traps. Or lighter fluid. The evidence would burn away…
what kind of ants are they? If they’re carpenter ants–you are screwed, but that would involve management and exterminators and building inspectors. If they’re regular ole picnic ants–try the cayenne or the borax.
Love the pic. It’s so lifelike–I’d keep an eye on the one near the equipment–they’re tricky bastards.
Apologies for a moment while I break the custom and offer real advice.
50/50 mix of borax and sugar. The ants can’t tell the difference and the borax is poisonous. You’re not having any luck on the battle line so let the ants take the poinson back to the source with them. Cram the mixture into wherever they’re gaining entry. It’s not an immediate cure but in the longrun you should be fine.
Excuse me while I search online for cheap tickets to Slutsylvania.
Right. Do me a favor and see if they’ve got any specials. A weekend trip sounds about nice.
Be careful, though. Slutsylvania Airlines is notorious for overbooking…
How about a nice gecko? I have a couple baby geckos that are running loose in my guest bathroom, they followed a trail of sugar ants and I’m tired of scooping them out of the shower.
The only way to stop an ant invasion is to take action before it really gets underway. When I first notice ants scouting my territory, I capture them and cut off their toes. Then I release them to return to their nest to relay my warning! 
the gecko might eat the ants…when it’s not trying to get you to switch your car insurance company that is, ask yourself which is worse, tiny, inoffensive insects, or a reptilian car insurance salesman (is that redundant?)
I used a commercial ant-killer that was just borax in sugar water that seemed to work quite well.
If you use it, make sure you put it on something non-absorbent like saran wrap or wax paper; I put some directly on my basement tile and the stuff dried like sticky cement.
Lobster, Thank you for vastly improving what was looking to be a fairly shitty day.
I am yours to command.
BTW a flamethower works lol
I thought that said botox the first time I read that and I had a really clever reply. Sadly it doesn’t work with what you really said.