AEW Dark Taz/Excalibur moment of the day
Taz was in top form today, and Excalibur is so much more than a straight man for him. Ex is like a living Wikipedia. His keywords have links, and he doesn’t forget anything. I will actually be using my archive for part of this.
Ari Daivari vs. Fuego Del Sol
Taz: This man Ari Daivari, extreme wealth. Extreme wealth. He’s locked in to a plethora of trust funds, hedge fund men and women, throughout the great state of New York and New York City there, the Financial District. Excalibur, I know you’ve never been around there. I used to do the Taz Show and I had lunch there, I’d get lunch there with my hedge fund friends, we’d sit around and talk money. I’m sure I bumped into Daivari and his family members there. I would assume I did.
Ex: But you know what, you’re so rich, you can’t even remember.
Taz: I can’t remember. I buy, I spend money on my memory, because I store it with other people. Like I could say to you, “remember this for me,” and I’d give you 50 grand. That type of thing. I might do that with you, because you have a good memory.
Ex: Taz, if I had your money, I’d burn mine.
Taz: I actually stole that line from one of our broadcast colleagues, and I’ll leave that there. The one with the cowboy hat, but you don’t know who he is.
…
Parker Boudreaux and Slim J watch from ringside.
Taz: That Slim J Jones there, imagine him walking around Manhattan Financial District. Daivari’s maybe gotta purchase a suit for this guy. Maybe like some kind of a custom suit, or maybe he can wear the white tank top, with the hat, like it’s 1990.
Ex: I think there might be a custom tank top. I don’t think they sell those in stores anymore. I think you have to go a tailor for that.
Taz: or Price.com.
…
Ex: Parker Boudreaux, just jaw-jackin’ with Fuego. Insult to injury, Taz.
Taz: Yeah, I think it’s Parker BOO-DROO, it’s a French New Orleans vibe, he’s not from there, but you’re using the wrong accent. It’s a French thing, my friend.
Ex: How did I pronounce it?
Taz: BOO-DOE. You said it like some guy from Detroit would say things.
Ex: We’ll have to go back and review the tape.
Close-up of Boudreaux watching from ringside
Taz: BOO-DOE is loving this.
Robyn Renegade vs. Willow Nightingale
Taz: She is fun, but dangerous.
Ex: “Fun but dangerous.” That’s how I describe you Taz, to everybody that I meet.
Taz: That’s what I am when I’m saving files on my computer. Fun, but very dangerous… and incompetent.
…
Ex: Well, the Renegade sisters, Robyn and Charlette, we’ve seen in the past Taz, that they like to use the old “Killer B’s” switch when the referee’s not looking. They’ll trade places, and sometimes even come away with a victory.
Taz: I know, and it’s tough for the opponents to deal with that. You know, if I had a twin brother back in the day when I was wrestling, I would have done this too. What would his name be? Spaz, Jazz, Raz, I’m not sure. Something like that.
Ex: Well, Raz was a Psychonauts character, Jazz was a wrestler you may have shared a locker room with.
Taz: I did, well, she was in the ladies’ locker room, but yes, yes, we were in the same company together.
Ex: (chuckles) I didn’t mean you were in the dressing room together. I just meant you worked in the same place.
Taz: You said “shared a locker room with.” Semantics, bro. I hear ya.
Serpentico vs. Brock Anderson
Serpentico debuts with new ring gear, including spiked shoulders.
Ex: Serpentico looks like he may have left Chaos Project and joined the Road Warriors with those spikes.
Taz: Yes, he’s a modern-day Road Warrior Knots. But yeah, good observation on the spikes. Serpentico, I’m still trying to figure who he is under the mask, that mask of masks. I figured you might know. You guys wear masks, so you might know each other. Super Strong Suplex Machine hasn’t been around by the way, he’s got some trouble.
…
Ex: So it’s been established in AEW Dark canon, not only am I an 87-year old man, but I live in a gated community of masked wrestlers, and one of the wrestlers in the gated community is Super Strong Suplex Machine, who I have not seen recently, because he is currently summering in Australia, where it is currently the winter.
June 9, 2021
AEW Dark Taz/Excalibur moment of the day
Taz: It’s like my friend, the Super Strong Suplex Machine, yet to make his debut here on AEW Dark.
Ex: Yeah? Where’s he been?
Taz: Oh, it’s summertime. He’s on vacation. He’s got this summer house in Lake Hilliard, in Western Australia.
Ex: Oh really?
Taz: Yeah.
Ex: It’s wintertime there, weird place for a summer vacation.
Taz: …
Ex: GOT YOU TAZ!
…
Taz: What is this mask? Can you explain? You’re an expert, you buy the ones from Amazon and Price.com, what kind of mask is this man wearing here?
Ex: It’s a Dia de Los Muertes-inspired mask, little bit like a Calavera.
Taz: I meant like the material. I’m talking about the construction, the construction, do you know about that? Not the inspiration. Is it polyester? Spandex? Lookin’ a little lycra-ish?
Ex: I believe it’s probably a lycra base, with some sturdy elements around the lower jaw area.
Taz: Probably some nylon in there, maybe some pleather?
Ex: A plethora of pleather.
Taz: A plethora.
…
Serpentico pantomimes loading a shotgun and shooting it.
Taz: Taz, you ever had somebody pulling out an imaginary shotgun during a wrestling match on you?
Taz: No, I had a guy pull out a real knife on me during a match, though. It was outside of Philadelphia, guy pulled out a little mini saw. It was a fan, tried to stab me. Didn’t go well for him. Good times. True story.
Ex: Yeah, can’t believe that would happen in Philadelphia of all place, Taz.
Taz: The suburbs of Philly too!
…
Taz: Ooh, Serpentico’s gonna do something here, going to the top. Flippy Dippy Do Dippy Jones. New move, the Flippy Dippy Do Dippy Jones, man.
Ex: Kinda doubtful, but if he hits it, it’ll be all over. Serpentico looking for the Flippy Dippy Do Dippy Jones…
He misses.
There’s so much more, but I’m ending it here.