I’m still partial to the idea of being buried in a barrow, but my thread asking about the cost didn’t get much response: How much would a good barrow cost?
And I’m not fussy - I wouldn’t insist on having any elvish blades buried with me, since that would no doubt drive up the cost. 
For everyone who’s said “no crying,” c’mon. It sounds nice to say and I agree with all the partying and such, but there will be crying. Haven’t you ever cried at a funeral? If you know you’re never going to see this person again in life, you’ll probably cry. 
Hazle, you just beat me to it. I hope people aren’t really serious about that, or you’re basically saying that no one who actually cared about you will be welcome at the service, and that seems a little sad, no?
I’ve already got half my family as well as my wife in on the plan. Somewhere in the eulogy I want a knock-knock joke or some “roast appropriate” comments. I don’t want my funeral to be all that gloomy; any more so than absolutely necessary. I also want someone to sing Rainbow Connection as they roll me out of the church. If they can do it as Kermit the Frog, all the better.
I can’t imagine giving instructions for such a thing. It totally misses the point. I can understand burial or cremation requests, but funerals have always been for the living, not ways for the departed to impose their will on devastated friends and family.
I want my wife or kids to play music, or read passages, or do things that remind them of me, not sing songs, or readings, or whatever that I thought would be neat at my funeral. If they would rather have a solemn affair, then what difference does it make that I wanted alcohol served and a few words spoken over drinks? They are the ones who need to try and deal with a loss, not me.
Just make sure that I’m really dead before you bury me.
But to be fair dead people form a film over their eyes soon after the event so its easily checkable.
So make sure you check.
Or I’ll haunt you…
Open bar.
I understand why people would be sad enough to cry, I just don’t want them to be, is all. I don’t want a big fat party or anything, either. Burn me up, and throw my ashes in your cousin’s back yard, for all I care. My main concern is I don’t want a crowd of long-faced people gathered around crying. For what it’s worth, I’ve never cried at a funeral, but I recognize that probably isn’t normal.
Since I plan to enter “coldsleep”(suspended animation), there wil be no need for a funeral…just an invite to my revival!
No embalming, no casket, no viewing, no service; straight into the furnace ASAP. Well, I’d like someone to make damn certain I’m really dead before the furnace thing. I’d like my ashes put in the Gulf of Mexico but it that isn’t possible, any body of water will do, including the damn toilet.
I’d like to be buried more or less exactly like my childhood pets. No preparation of any kind. Wrap me in a piece of linen, dig a hole somewhere shady and quiet on our home property, cover me with dirt and plant a few ferns.
Use all the useful bits first, of course; I’m done with 'em 
I specifically called out an Irish wake (sans religion and corpse. BTW, I’m of Japanese heritage but who cares) in my will and set aside a measly $10,000 for the bar rental and booze. I should probably double that. My friend who is “executioner” of the wake has demanded a cost of living increase.
I’ve asked to be cremated and tossed into the Santa Barbara Channel, hopefully from my piece of shit Hobie Cat.
Hell no! I want fanfiction at my final resting place! If someone can read selections from Spock Enslaved, so much the better. Or maybe excerpts from “My Immortal”, an infamous multi-chapter Harry Potter fanfiction by Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way. On second thought, maybe not - I don’t want to be the cause of more deaths, from laughter (yes, “My Immortal” sucks that badly) 
Seriously, though, I would like to be buried in one of those eco-cemeteries where they put the deceased right in the earth- no vaults or fancy, hermetically-sealed coffins, just the dead person in a cloth bag or a plain wooden box. Also, I would like those who attend my funeral to wear blue rather than black, jeans are OK. One song I would specifically like to be played is “China Roses” by Enya. For the love of Og, do NOT play “I Can Only Imagine” - I hate that song and swear I will haunt anyone who insists on doing so. I will probably set aside some money so that there will be a good old-fashioned Irish wake afterward, which feels appropriate to me since I am part Irish on my mother’s side, plus I like a little booze once in a while.
Cremate me, or just put me in a plain pine box. Either way, no embalming. Play ‘Silent Lucidity’ by Queensryche. Other than that, do whatever reflects what I meant to you.
I have always said one of the songs I would like at my funeral… (after Im cremated, with a picture of me dancing around under the sprinkler as a kid to grace the front alter …or table if not in a church, which Im FINE with, either way) would be Lord of the Dance. Until I was reading this thread and my boyfriend played this youtube. If I predecease my parents…just no. Too hard to sing when you’re upset, and funerals are for the living.
If I predecease my parents, I will go with whatever comforts them.
If not, then well my son will know that Mom wants “Crazy music and dancing and karaoke and chicken wings”
(This is his first grader’s idea of what Mom does when she goes out on weekends. He’s not entirely wrong)
Whatever my family wants; I’m dead at this point so don’t care. It would be nice if it was more of a “celebration of life” service than a sombre affair but I realise people might be too upset for that
I told my friend to have Robert Palmer’s “I Didn’t Mean to Turn You On” played, but that would probably get shot down by my family, ha.
I’ve been told that none of my organs are wanted, thankyouverymuch – incurable cancer’s a bummer-- but I’m waffling on the donation of body to science thing. I think it would be cool, but I’m not sure my husband or his family would think that. I’m actually trying to put together my plans, since I really don’t want to wait until I’m very sick and put it on my husband. I’ve been collecting songs on my ipod that I want played/sung, and I’d love to have balloons released at the end of the service…or is that anti-environmental these days?
There is a running gag with me and my buddies.
When I am dead (we all know its going to be me first, because I have the inclination for stupid acts of stuntmanship) there will be a keg chilled on ice right next to my casket during the service.
The first bastard that gets up there and pumps themselves off some suds gets $10,000 cash. This will be administered by the funeral home. The keg will only be there during the actual service.