[QUOTE=Sampiro]
This family almost reminds me of those blood soaked little patches that Elizabethan era nobles used to wear under their clothing to attract all the fleas and ticks from their furs and clothes to one place on their body.
[/QUOTE]
Two things:
That is the most interesting bit of random trivia I’ve heard in a long time. One day I’ll win on Jeopardy! with this knowledge.
This shit’s better than a movie. Or a trainwreck. Or a movie about a trainwreck being shown on a trainwreck.
[QUOTE=Larry Borgia]
I got a question, and I’m honestly not trying to be snarky here, but how are her problems your problems?
[/QUOTE]
It affects two people I care about a great deal (one’s my friend, the other’s his mother).
I was raised Calvinist but I always thought the “damned from conception” part was shit; if this child is damned it’s by its mother and its mother is in my greater ring of circles. This isn’t just a faceless statistic of “born to an impoverished unwed mother the kid never had a chance” Dateline story. These are people that I know and this is a child that maybe I can possibly (I hope and I pray to a God I don’t believe in) manage to help steer into a place where it will have a chance to be something other than “a poor little baby child [who’s] born in the ghetto”. Probably I can’t, and the impotence is infuriating.
I hate the thoughts of what another unneeded child with no conceivable prospects or advantages does to our economic system, crime rates, shitty education system, etc.. This is, again, one that I can put dimensions and carbon to, if I can think of a way of helping it I have to.
Two self supporting parents have a baby, they support it, that’s their business. A single self-supporting parent has a baby, s/he supports it, that’s his/her business. A self-supporting family loses their means, must rely on public support for a while, I have great sympathy and empathy and do not begrudge them their share of public monies. But when a piece of crap like this conceives a child- not her first or second or fourth- KNOWING that it must be supported on public money from the beginning, REFUSING to give it to parents who can give it a fighting chance and privatize its upbringing… it’s not just her business. I pay five-figures in Federal taxes, she’ll be getting about that much from federal monies, I claim the right to make her my business.
Personally I don’t understand detachment from emotion or interest in such matters and do not see it as a virtue but as a social ill. I emphasize the personally however (as in ‘personally I think that if anonymous snarkers choked on their own vomit and died the world would be no worse off’, though that’s obviously not directed at anybody in particular as nobody here’s currently snarking anonymously).
Actually my own much depleted family is pretty calm these days. Thanks for mentioning, though.
Holy fucking cow. Dear God. Dear, dear God.
Someone ought to get this piece of work really drunk, then take her into a tattoo parlor to have a warning tattooed onto her forehead.
[QUOTE=Sampiro]
Actually my own much depleted family is pretty calm these days. Thanks for mentioning, though.
[/QUOTE]
And PS- in all but blood and legality my ex is a member of my family. He drives me nuts with his slackerness but I’d walk through hell for him and I’ve no doubt at all he’d do the same for me. I was being quite literal when I said
[QUOTE=Sampiro]
he’s like a brother to me except I love and like him
[/QUOTE]
PPS- My family is strange as most would understand the term and even dysfunctional as some would define it but there are members, biologically and of selection, who I love quite a bit. I would therefore take it as a personal favor if you [Larry Borgia] never mention my family as individuals or as a collective on this board again. (What you post on “other boards” is your business and of no concern to me as I don’t read them.)
I cannot enforce this, of course, and I will not melt down, but in acknowledgement of certain suspicions that I acknowledge could well be baseless and paranoid, I would very much appreciate your compliance and will certainly return the favor. Thanks.
you wrote the OP giving loads of details about folks in your life, resurrected the thread a year later, but object to how some one responds to it?
You’ve been here long enough to know/seen/experienced that folks respond to threads as they will - once posted, you have no control over who will choose to read/respond. If only there were some outlet where you could control who saw and responded!
[QUOTE=wring]
You’ve been here long enough to know/seen/experienced that folks respond to threads as they will - once posted, you have no control over who will choose to read/respond. If only there were some outlet where you could control who saw and responded!
[/QUOTE]
Hence the “I cannot enforce” and “personal favor” comments. Now let’s please drop the subject (which is to say that I have dropped it- you may say what you wish).
and again - you don’t want folks to comment, then don’t fucking post it on an open message board.
Other than this (my last word- promise): I did not mention my family “drama”, only that while I have issues with my sister I also
and that any child she raised
which cannot really be construed as an indictment or reflection of her or my family or their individual or collective past drama. That said (and as to say more would make certain people way too happy), I really am quite sincere when I say the matter of a request (for which, if I am wrong in my suspicions, I apologize very sincerely) is concluded.
Carry on.
Other than this (my last word- promise): I did not mention my family “drama”, only that while I have issues with my sister I also
and that any child she raised
which cannot be fairly construed as an indictment of her or my family for their individual or collective past drama. While I consider Dinah’s brother a part of my family of selection I do not consider her a part of my family. Hence any mention of any member of my family save for things mentioned in this particular thread, particularly after I state my feelings on the matter, would be irrelevant and would fairly be seen as gratuitious and clearly intended to provoke, though again I acknowledge that I cannot enforce this matter and do not intend to debate it further or become heated in the matter (I’m quite well medicated now).
Further, if any reader is annoyed by my writing style or subject matter in and of itself they certainly have the option of going to one of the hundreds of other currently open threads. That said (and as to say more would make certain people way too happy), I really am quite sincere when I say that the matter of the request I made (and if I am wrong in my suspicions for making it then I apologize very sincerely) is concluded.
Carry on. Any other posts by me will deal strictly with “The Matter of Dinah”, my word of honor.
Apologies- I thought with the above I was “editing” the previous post but it accepted it as a new post altogether. Either I pushed a wrong button or the 5 minutes had expired; apologies for any superfulous, redundant, duplicative and repetetive redundancies duplication.
I have nothing specific to contribute one way or the other, but if any horrible calamity should befall me, I want Sampiro to write about it. I’d love to be remembered in his prose.
Sampiro,
A serious answer to your original question - “How to get the Psycho Twit From Hell to agree to an adoption.” To probably misquote Heinlein, “Never try to appeal to a [wo]man’s better nature, [s]he may not have one. You’ll do better to appeal to [her]his self-interest.” Because from your exquisitely crafted description of the PTFH, I can’t see her doing anything because it’s best for the baby. The baby is just another in a long string of attempts to keep “The Dinah Show”, starring Dinah, in the headlines. As long as she sees this baby bringing attention to her, making people sympathetic to her and, eventually, growing up to worship her, she’ll want to keep it. If there’s any chance of getting her to voluntarily give up this child it will be because it is drawing focus away from her, requiring a sacrifice on her part, having money spent on it instead of her, etc. Unfortunately, there’s absolutely no way to TELL her that this is an absolute certainty. She won’t believe anyone who wants to take away her shiny toy that makes people pay attention to her. She has to come of this realization by herself.
IMO, the way to get her to give up he baby is to fully support her in her quest for parenthood. A common theme in this support should be “nothing is too good for the baby”. Speak often of the changes that will have to be made “after the baby arrives”. Buy gifts for the baby, make plans for the baby’s future, pick out schools and clothes and toys and daycare for the baby, but never, ever speak of adoption. And if this doesn’t convince her that she doesn’t need an equal-billed co-star on “The Dinah Show [sub]Starring Dinah![/sub]”, maybe it will do some actual good for the baby.
ps - These things always sound better in my head than on paper, so I hope I’ve acheived a smattering of coherence here.
[QUOTE=Rhubarb]
IMO, the way to get her to give up he baby is to fully support her in her quest for parenthood. A common theme in this support should be “nothing is too good for the baby”. Speak often of the changes that will have to be made “after the baby arrives”. Buy gifts for the baby, make plans for the baby’s future, pick out schools and clothes and toys and daycare for the baby, but never, ever speak of adoption. And if this doesn’t convince her that she doesn’t need an equal-billed co-star on “The Dinah Show [sub]Starring Dinah![/sub]”, maybe it will do some actual good for the baby.
ps - These things always sound better in my head than on paper, so I hope I’ve acheived a smattering of coherence here.
[/QUOTE]
Actually, that’s an interesting idea. Maybe emphasize how Dinah’s own mother works her fingers to the bone 60 hours a week and gives every last dime to her children, driving her to ill health and no retirement savings, just because you have to do that for your children. Any mention of how it’s hard for Dinah and it’s time to pity her? Oh no no no, steer it right back to how it’ll be even harder after the baby’s born and how she’ll have to give up lots of sleep, all fun money, all going out and having a good time, because baby will need 24/7 care, and maybe if she’s lucky she’ll find a cheap babysitter to cover her work hours because by god, welfare doesn’t cover those bills for the pricey, needy baby.
Maybe. If we’re lucky.
[QUOTE=Sampiro]
I’m also not talking about the perpetual DUI committing criminally psychotic stepbrother who I mention here mainly to say that “His sorry ass is finally back in jail and prison bound for a long-long time”.
[/QUOTE]
I’m glad you bumped this thread, if for no other reason than to read this good bit of news.
Sampiro, I’m glad to see you have such a deep compassion for your (extended) family, but I’m just worried this kind of concern is going to burn up your heart. Yes, there’s a potential baby in peril here. I assure you there are probably dozens, hundreds of similarly endangered babies within a dozen mile radius or so of your home. Perhaps not so bad off, perhaps worse - maybe her daddy is a child molester, or maybe momma will shake her little boy so hard to get him to stop crying that the baby’s brain swells up, or maybe baby will be left to starve slowly while mommy does smack. You can’t save them all, and I’m not even sure you can save this one. After all, you already told her - in her reasoning - “I don’t give a damn about that baby, if you give it up I won’t leave you out to starve.”
Nothing much to add, but it’s late and I thought this was funny:
While reading Hunter Hawk’s thread on overpriced NoKa chocolate in MPSIMS I bounced over to a NYTimes article that he linked on crazy rich people and their extravagences, and noticed a link there to an article about the University of Phoenix - “Troubles Grow for a University Built on Profits” which reminded me of this thread and the poor gal piling on some student loans, and also of an article by David Quammen on “Clone Your Troubles Away” which was published in Harpers but I see linked here (looks like a legit reprint) which included a mention of John Sperling, “founder of the Apollo Group, a two-billion-dollar empire that encompasses, among other things, the University of Phoenix” - and the point of Quammen’s mention of Sperling was that he paid something like $5M to clone his dog. I wonder what that works out per pound, in relation to that chocolate thread. And it goes full circle. 
Sorry for the hijack. Thanks for sharing - I always enjoy your posts.
[QUOTE=Boo Boo Foo]
“Sometimes you gotta look after yourself coz no-one else will. You can’t rescue people in life. Sometimes people just wanna be self destructive. That’s a burden I just don’t need, nor do I deserve. My sister ain’t welcome… I’m moving on… FROM EVERYONE…”
[/QUOTE]
(bold caps mine)
Damn straight! (Or gayly forward, as we used to say.)
Hell, I’d divorce my family for much less than what this guy’s dealing with.
Oh, and no, I don’t believe that there’s anything that can be done about the sister. The really sad thing here is that the innocent baby’s gonna pay for the family’s mishegoss–probably big time. And what a goddamn shame that is.
And that, Sampiro , is why I love you. I don’t know you - but I love you. For those who don’t know the how and why you attract such “characters” into your life - well that’s why and how! Those people are in everyone’s life. You just have to look and listen. Slow down and listen to what’s going on around you and if you dare ask a question, you’ll hear stories like these everywhere.
I love you for your listening, Sampiro , for wanting to be involved and while it pains you in the doing - to try to do something about it.
Oh - and you write good too 
I might lose my damned job because I had to read the whole fucking thread (and the links).
It’s odd. Sampiro, when you write about her and her family, you show all the compassion towards her that Heathcliff had for Hindley. But you’re genuinely trying to help her – or, at least, her unborn child – out. It’s an interesting tension of viewpoints.
Hope things work out well… don’t see how they can. 
[QUOTE=Bricker]
It’s odd. Sampiro, when you write about her and her family, you show all the compassion towards her that Heathcliff had for Hindley.
[/QUOTE]
I’m afraid I missed that episode of The Cosby Show. Was Hindley that homeless kid that Cliff used to give Vanessa a new kidney?