Willow… what a tit.
On a tree by a river a little tom-tit
Sang “Willow, titwillow, titwillow”
And I said to him, “Dicky-bird, why do you sit
Singing ‘Willow, titwillow, titwillow’”
“Is it weakness of intellect, birdie?” I cried
“Or a rather tough worm in your little inside”
With a shake of his poor little head, he replied
“Oh, willow, titwillow, titwillow!”
Today, in about seven hours or so, Nikki Bella will break AJ’s record as the longest-running Divas champion. Fortunately, WWE have provided themselves an out for this trainwreck of an angle - Charlotte gets a title shot on Raw tonight.
The smart decision would be to start the match some short amount of time before the record-breaking hour, and have Charlotte win (by submission) with just seconds to spare, thereby solidifying the “Divas revolution” and showing that WWE is committed to presenting womens’ wrestling as serious business.
What they’ll probably do is a BS finish where Brie runs in to cause a DQ, the record is broken, and the entire Divas revolution is revealed as nothing more than a program intended to put over Cena’s girlfriend and punish CM Punk by burying his wife’s legacy, and the crowd will rebel while Cole and JBL do their best to pretend that it’s “Shades of the night after WrestleMania!” and that they’re chanting the announcers’ names and doing the wave because of how exciting the in-ring action is.
Or as someone else pointed out (and was actually said on TV a couple of weeks ago), TOMORROW is when the actual record is, not tonight.
But since they’re billing it as a tie today, that makes me think there’s a possibility that Charlotte will win this thing.
According to Wikipedia, AJ held it for 295 days (6/16/13 - 4/17/14), and Nikki has held it for 295 days (11/23/14 - today).
So presumably the record will be broken this evening at the minute and hour in which Nikki won the title off AJ at Survivor Series (which, IIRC, was sometime around 10 PM eastern.)
In any event, the reality is that the record is broken when WWE says it’s broken, and none of your petty “facts” will convince them otherwise. 
Called it. Stick a fork in the “Divas revolution”; meet the new boss, same as the old boss. Triple H showed us a world where women wrestlers could have quality matches with decisive finishes and the women were allowed to develop distinctive characters who interacted naturally with each other. Then he turned it over to a crazy 70-year-old man who doesn’t understand how women think and is more interested in pursuing petty vendettas against ex-employees than in making money or entertaining the audience. I guess we shouldn’t be surprised.
The only question remaining is; is Vince petty enough to keep the belt on Nikki for another 138 days, so she passes CM Punk’s reign and becomes THE LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION OF THE MODERN ERA MAGGLE?
Yes. Yes he is.
On a less cynical note, there’s a today-only t-shirt clearance sale running on WWE’s website right now. Whole bunch of shirts that were getting promoted at various points over the last year that they’ve stopped promoting for whatever reason, marked down to $10 apiece. I myself picked up Samoa Joe’s shirt, Finn’s shirt with the demon face, and a Daniel Bryan “Yes revolution” shirt.
So if there were any shirts you’ve had your eye on in the past few months but decided not to pay WWE’s exorbinant prices, now’s your chance. (Or take your chance and hope it shows up in the clearance bin at Wal-Mart for $5 - that’s how I got my CM Punk “Second City Saint” shirt that still has a sticker on it proclaiming it to be official WWE merchandise.)
Wonder if this means the above crew are getting new shirts, or if they’re just trying to get rid of the tons of inventory they have on their old stuff? A lot of them are NXT people so I really wonder about them
Considering that they’ve got about 40 different variations on the Suplex City shirt on sale, I’m guessing the latter. And on the other end of the spectrum you’ve got stuff like the Jack Swagger hand shirt, which they couldn’t have been selling many copies of even when he was over as a babyface and making regular TV/PPV appearances.
138 days - if WWE holds to form, the Royal Rumble will be 139 days after that RAW took place. Say, you don’t think that this is when Cena is going to tie, if not break by then, Flair’s world title count record, do you?
As for AJ, she’ll probably get as many mentions on the air as Droz has since his injury in 1999.
My guess at this point? Regardless of what happens at NoC this weekend, Sheamus winds up with the world title via shenanigans at some point, Roman Reigns wins the Rumble again, and at 'Mania 32 he beats Sheamus for the championship. Cena probably won’t get his 16th title at this rate until at least Summerslam.
The only reason Nikki broke her record (aside from the fact that she’s shagging Cena) is so that they could bury AJ and not have to mention her anymore, thereby punishing her husband for refusing to job to the boss’ son-in-law. If that’s not true, may I win a sweepstakes where the grand prize is a one-way ticket to Suplex City.
I hope they aren’t totally doing away with the Suplex City shirts, I was looking forward to getting one at the Rumble.
I am really getting annoyed with smarks with media access. One second they’ll be touting some behind-the-scenes thing, then the next second they’re mentioning some kayfabe thing that’s happening, and never marrying the two.
If I hear one more person bitch that Nikki is breaking the record and doesn’t “deserve” it, or it’s only because of Cena, I’m gonna kill someone. Obviously they want to erase AJs record because of the Punk thing so someone is going to break it, who gives a shit as to who it is? No one “deserves” it so just lop it on someone and call it a day. If you’re gonna bitch, bitch about the fact she rarely defended it.
I wouldn’t be surprised if it was in retaliation for Punk’s claim that Vince (or at least “the WWE,” but I doubt that would have happened without Vince’s approval) had something to do with Chris Amman’s lawsuit against Punk and Colt Cabana more than for not jobbing to Trips.
To be fair, most of the shirts on clearance are kind of fucking awful. The world-wide market for the Enzo and Cass shirt has got to be roughly 2 people (Enzo and Cass themselves). On the other hand, the 3 you mention are rather wonderful.
I’m desperately jealous, though, that you have a “Second City Saint” shirt.
I think we can all agree it is in retaliation. As any long-time smart fan knows, Vince is petty. It could be either/or, both, or both plus a host of other real/imagined slights.
I have never worn it, because adulterating it with my sweat would mean having to wash it, and that would damage the sticker of authenticity. Not that I intend on ever selling it, but I like the idea of owning a demonstrably-WWE-certified piece of merchandise for a person who will probably never appear in WWE again (unless his UFC run turns to shit and in a few years he signs a part-time contract for some insane amount of cash like Brock did.)
I’m not entirely sure WWE is going out of their way to discredit CM Punk and AJ Lee. Making Bree’s (or is it Nikki?) title reign a big issue is just another method of promotion, and AJ just happens to be the name that held the previous record. Also, in lawyer speak, “Diva” is different from “Lady” or “Woman” as far as wrestler types, so Fabulous Moolah’s reign of decades doesn’t apply. It’s how any promotion is done. They look for “undisputed facts” that don’t really mean anything and blow it up, like the way Miz does when he says he “headlined Wrestlemania” once, even though he’s a comic relief fall guy now.
“What do you want, Bray?”
“Ah just want to see you suffer!”
If they put out a DVD of all of Miz’s discomfiture, I would probably buy it. Well, find the rip of it.
No, they’re definitely out to screw over the Brooks family.
And I dunno, I’ll never respect the Bellas. They point out they’ve been there 8 years. Most of those years they were nothing more than star fucking eye candy with very little actual ability. Limited mostly to hanging on the elbows of their guest hosts. While they’ve picked up some (and I have to wonder if that’s because they managed to fuck their way to the top and their BFs have incredible work ethics - and have to be asking why they don’t) they’re still nowhere near the talent of Natty, Page, Sasha, Charlotte, Bayley and my future ex-wife, Becky Lynch.
And frankly, they never will be.
Ehh, just based on their travel schedules alone it’s basically bullshit to say the Bellas have no work ethic. Are they good wrestlers? No, and at this point in their careers if they were ever going to be we’d at least see some nascent talent in them. But they live on the road 300 days a year, are involved in multiple shows, do tons of events for WWE in addition to the televised shows and etc.
This is a business where women like Sable and Debra can become big stars, and I don’t think that will ever change. It’s cool that now there are some women who are real wrestlers–but the reality for me is even the absolute best female wrestlers that the IWC flips out over, I basically just do not care. I agree with something Sid Eudy said on a radio interview 4-5 years ago, women’s wrestling is time on the card for something that possibly doesn’t sell a single ticket. Even the best woman wrestler is just simply not compelling to me versus a male wrestler. I’m cool with admitting that it’s sexist, but I like what I like. I don’t like female MMA or female boxing either.
I will say traditional wrestling had something called a “valet”, whose only job was to look hot and occasionally interfere for her man. That’s the role people like Sable, Debra, the Bellas, and Lana belong in; if you’re going to have women wrestling you shouldn’t commingle the talents who really ought be valets and cannot wrestle with the talents that can. If you note before her wrist injury they were clearly trying to get Lana more physically involved in matches. That doesn’t make sense, Lana’s a valet, she should continue to work on her mic work (which was decent when she was managing Rusev) and continue to be physically attractive–that’s her role in WWE, she’s not a Paige or a Sasha Banks who was hired to wrestle.
The Divas championship is so new that I don’t feel there’s a lot of meaning to any records associated with it. It doesn’t share a lineage with the old WWF Women’s Championship, who had several women with longer Reigns than AJ’s, and dated back to the 1950s, so I don’t see it as being a belt where longest reign means a lot. This isn’t akin to the main world title belt which can lineally be tracked back more than 50 years, this is more like talking about WWF Hardcore Championship records 3-4 years after that title was established.
Paige’s wrestling talent has dropped off a friggin cliff in the last year-and-a-half and is at Cena level spot yelling, Nattie looks like she’s wrestling in slow motion, Charlotte has honestly never impressed me a whole lot, Bayley rides on her partner’s ability A LOT, and TBH Becky had her amazing match vs Sasha and hasn’t carried very much since.
I don’t even mark out for her, but of that list the only one who really consistently gives amazing matches is Sasha. Not trying to just be contrarian to you, but I think the Divas Revolution girls are only slightly better than the Bellas, it’s just everyone is so sick of the Bella’s, and they’re so desperate for new talent, that anything looks good right now.
Cept Sasha…she’s amazing