Smackdown 1/21 Bit the Bullet report
Usos teamed with Dolph Ziggler, who wore a similar face paint design. Apparently they bonded while touring in India and The Rock considers Zig part of the family now. Uh, OK. Alabaman Bobby Eaton was an English Blueblood once. They take on NOO DAYEE, prelude to the title match at RR. At the end, the faces get off a cool looking triple superkick on Xavier and win, which means the Usos will lose this weekend.
Becky Lynch beat Alicia Fox with Ric Flair and Charlotte watching. Hoping their match will be NXT level and not some dumbed-down version of same-ol-shit Divas matches.
Miz TV segment - Miz is to interview Dean Ambrose and Kevin Owens. Dean comes out first, jumps into his drunken sailor drawl, and Miz interrupts him with My Hand Goes Up, Your Mouth Goes Shut. That doesn’t work, of course. Dean says “Waddahell, I’ll innerview Owens myshelf, you go sit inna corner, bitch. HEY OWENS, howzit gonna feel when I drag you and pound you and put you through the walls, tables, chairs, and <jumps out the ring> THIS ANNOUNCER TABLE TOO!” The announcers skitter like sandpipers from a beach wave, muttering “My my, Dean’s in lunatic mode again.”
KO comes out with a mike, snarks back at Dean, then Miz jumps Dean from behind. He beats Dean down and gestures for KO to come to the ring. KO does so, looks over Dean’s prone body, and grabs Miz and bounces him off the ropes into a Popup Power Bomb. Miz is so annoying, sworn enemies will scrot him first before attacking each other. Dean has now recovered, and reverses KO’s PUPB attempt into Dirty Deeds, but KO slithers out and runs away. So, Dean applies Dirty Deeds to Miz. He then screams a 10 count in KO’s direction.
At RR, I expect lots of moments where Dean will grimace in pain during his match with KO, using all his crazy facial expressions, and stumble around while relying on pure hatred to keep going. KO will try to convince him to stay down to no avail, then throw him through a stack of flaming tables or something. If only this match could take place in LU, where blood flows freely to sate the gods…
Bray Wyatt took on Ryback, with the rest of the family leering nearby. Pretty solid match between the two. Ryback had Bray in Shell Shock, but Rowan pulled him off while Harper distracted the referee. Bray kisses the forehead and pins Ryback with Sister Abigail. Afterwards, as the Wyatts retreat to the stands, Bray fires off more apocalyptic prophecies and follows the buzzards. DEPP!
Stardust takes on Titus O’Neil next, enabling many rest room breaks. Another one bites the stardust.
WWE god Roman Reigns takes on all four members of the League of Nations in a handicap match. Well, three since Sad News Barrett is still injured but not wanting to disappear into obscurity. After about 5 minutes, everybody runs in and DQ the match. The Usos run in to rescue RR, but get beat down. RR comes back with Superman punches and clears out the heels, then BEE BOPP VROOOM DEPP! The darkness clears, and the Wyatts surround the ring. Harper and Rowan charge in, but get tossed out. Stroman climbs in, grabs Roman by the ears, and tosses him out. Harper gives Roman a superkick, and Rowan follows with a roundhouse kick. Stroman plants Roman with his weird backbreaker-body-flip and Bray kisses the forehead. So, look for Roman to eliminate the entire Wyatt family this weekend.
DEPP!
