Any WWE fans in the audience? (Part 1)

The Game Room
3743

CONSPIRACY TIME! (for the benefit of Sir T-Cups)

According to a recap I read Vince said something about creating another main event for Wrestlemania with Shane vs Taker. But Shane won’t actually wrestle, he’ll have someone do it for him.

CM Punk never got his Wrestlemania main event.

Shane was not part of the company when Punk said the above quote.

Cena Instagrams Punk’s Twitter profile pic.

WWE.com adds Punk to the alumni section.

Punk will wrestle Undertaker at Wrestlemania!

And the world continues to spin round and round!

3744

I don’t know how you guys are so negative about Shane McMahon’s return, but thinking about the potential of matches on caliber of some of his past matches has me very excited. Take a look at his match with Kurt Angle at King of the Ring just as one example - Shane McMahon vs. Kurt Angle: King of the Ring, June 24, - YouTube

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It’s not that I have anything against Shane. He is talented and a good TV personality. It’s just that Vince’s solution to filling holes is to bring in more MacMahons and dominate air time with family drama. That’s why I think LU is such a superior product. There’s no actual owner, promoter or booker that wants to hog air time. They have actors for that. NXT has WIlliam Regal, but he only announces new matches and doesn’t make NXT the William Regal show. Keep the desk jockeys behind the curtains and let the actual talent run the show. Don’t they remember how that ruined WCW?

3746

From what I’ve read, Shane and Vince had legitimate differences about how to run the company that lead to Shane leaving. Shane wanted ECW to be more like what NXT is now (an internet-exclusive show with a separate roster), and he wanted the WWE website to cover the indies and MMA and be more of a general fighting-sports web portal. Since he left, he’s been pretty financially successful on his own, to where he was essentially able to retire from running his company in China a few years ago.

It seems like in the past year or so, WWE has been moving more in the direction Shane wanted it to go, with NXT, and the booking of indy darlings, and the increased emphasis on technical wrestling on NXT and the secondary shows. Maybe that’s why he agreed to come back, or maybe he’s bored with retired life. He certainly doesn’t need the money.

I’m not complaining that he’s back, and using him as a proxy for the IWC’s complaints about the company is a pretty smart move. It’s just that Shane vs. Undertaker in Hell In A Cell is such a batshit insane booking decision that I can’t help but think there’s no way in hell they’ll actually go through with it.

3747

The talent isn’t really running the show in WWE the same way it did in WCW, so I don’t think that’s a completely fair comparison.

Technically the closest we get to talent running the show is NXT, and we all love that…

3748

It is when the McMahons are using themselves both as talent and bookers.

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Even if he’s been taking great care of himself, that was 15 years ago. Shane’s body may not have the war wounds of a full-time performer, but he’s still 46 years old now. If I were you, I’d temper your expectations of greatness.

3750

Exactly. Shane was a competent guy in matches with a lot of garbage wrestling and was willing to take huge bumps for the spectacle.

If he was matched up with a Kurt Angle or type of person who can wrestle a broomstick to a 3-star match, Shane can hold up his end of the bargain and get a 4+ star match out of it, sure. But I’m not sure that 2016 Undertaker can wrestle a broomstick to a 3-star match.

I would also assume that, as a publiclly-traded company, if Shane was back with the WWE in any type of actual company role beyond that of wrestler/talent, it would have to be announced.

Still, I will give them credit in that, at least right now, they have created a matchup where I don’t actually have any good idea who the winner would be.

3751

I think you just answered your own question.

3752

Announced where? In the annual report?

It certainly wouldn’t have to be on the air. Wasn’t there a storyline about a decade ago where Ric Flair bought Shane and/or Stephanie’s shares (kayfabe, of course) in some attempt to take over?

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You should know by WWE doesn’t care about continuity. Not unless it’s convenient to current situations, anyway.

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Not on the air, no. But I was under the impression that changes in corporate executive leadership requires public disclosure (and not just waiting for annual reports). For example, WWE Corporate put out a press release in December when they hired an Executive VP of Global Sales.

So I think if Shane was back in a WWE Corporate role, they’d have to disclose that to investors, and that means the dirtsheets/news sites would be all over it. We don’t have that, therefore it looks like he’s just back as talent.

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If he were a corporate officer, probably, but I presume they don’t have to put out a press release every time they hire a writer or a consultant. Max Landis (of “Wrestling Isn’t Wrestling” fame) has been a consultant for WWE for over a year now and nobody knew until he went public with it a few days ago.

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*BAHWANGGGGAAAAAHHHH

BAAAAAANNNNHHHH*

Promo: Pentagon Jr.'s match with Vampiro last season has somehow managed to release the Vampiro essence from Ian Hodgkinson’s body. He’s now taking orders from the dark spirit, and NO FEAR!

Side note: PJ and Fenix are brothers and come from a family of luchas. He’s like the Mexican Bray Wyatt.

Match 1: Jack Evans vs PJ Black - I wish this match could have gone for the whole hour. Jack is really jacking up the cocky heel angle, stopping the action periodically so he can testify to the audience. Drago is looming in the shadows wearing a 6’ tall dragon mask with horns, still seething over his loss to Evans the week before. Interesting how they handle feuds in LU. Last week’s match looked like a push for Evans, but as evidenced by last season, it’s actually the start of a feud, which will evidently now involve PJ Black. Both ur-luchas perform their share of acrobatics and mishaps as Drago skulks his way to ringside. He attempts to spray Jack with the Green Mist, but Jack squirms aside and PJ eats the dragon’s breath instead. Jack gets him in the Barbed wire twist Rotisserie Chicken Lock for the win. Again, weird that PJ is getting buried after such a welcome buildup, but again, LU doesn’t just leave jobbers in the dust. It looks like a Triple Threat is in the cards for these three, and PJ should finally get his win.

Match 2: Texano vs Mr. Cisco, Cortez Castro & Chavo Guerrero in a gauntlet match - Now that they seem to have the players in the right place and Chavo is recovered from last year’s injury, Texano is now the face and Chavo and The Crew are still the heels. At least for now. Tex takes out Mr. Cisco in 2 seconds, then works a good long while with Cortez, then defeats the undercover cop. Chavo’s turn, and he plays the pussy heel to perfection. Thanks to interference from The Crew, Chavo gets the win, and a beatdown ensues, no doubt ensuring further clan warfare between the Guerrero faction and… whoever Texano represents.

Promo: 374 miles from Boylan Heights - Dario Cueto and Dahlia are waiting outside as Matanza devours another screaming audience. Dario tells Dahlia about his mother, and how she beat him and Matanza when they were boys. One day Dario decided to stand up to her and announce they weren’t going to take it any more. As she was about to strike him, Matanza clubbed her over the head with the red bull statue that we had seen on Dario’s desk last season, and beat her to death.

Dahlia says, “That’s terrible!” Dario replies “No! It was wonderful because I all the sudden realized that I enjoy violence!” Og on a stick, that was twisted…

Match 3: King Cuerno vs Kill Shot - again, Cuerno forsakes defending the Belt of the Gods, but wins anyway. Afterwards, he’s seen in Catrina’s office, saying he wants to cash in the Belt to take on Mil Muertes for the LU title. She says he first has to defeat Fenix, the man who cannot die. As he’s about to leave, she does the Columbo last-minute addenda designed to leave you flustered - he’ll have to be in Fenix’s element, because it will be a ladder match!

Promo: Pentagon Jr is in the practice ring and bellows for Catrina. She does her mysterious appear-from-nowhere magic. He demands a match with Prince Puma, and she says no. The two then have a little tussle in the ring, and he clamps the arm-breaker on her. Her shadow slips out of his grasp, and she materializes in the ring corner. She says “You can have your match with Prince Puma. But you will pay for daring to touch me.”

Match 4: Johnny Mundo vs “I’m a machine!” Cage - again, wish this match could have lasted the whole hour. No rest holds at all, just continual action. Both these guys look fantastic. It looks like Cage is about to get the win, when suddenly a platinum blonde woman warrior slips a bat into Mundo’s corner, then runs to the other side of the ring to distract the ref. Mundo escapes Cage’s clutches, picks up the bat, and smacks him on side the face with it with an audible SMACK! He then gets the win, and he and his new valet, introduced by the announcers as Taya, give Cage a beatdown. This chick really seems to enjoy the violence. A quick Google search reveals she’s a Canadian wrestler named Taya Valkyrie. Wonder what happened to Melina? She helped Johnny beat ADR last season, and it looked like it was going to be some kind of unholy reunification.

More intriguing storylines developing and killer ring action to boot. WWWho?

*BAHWANGGGGAAAAAHHHH

BAAAAAANNNNHHHH*

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Meanwhile, in issue #3 of the Lucha Underground comic, we learn a little more about the nature of Ian/Vampiro and how he became Pentagon Jr’s master.

Including that he apparently murdered at least one person during the events of season 1.

Re: Melina, according to the sheets, Melina says she only wanted to make a one-off appearance, and LU says they wanted her for season 2 but she was “too difficult” to work with. Taya is filling the role she would have filled in season 2, much in the same way Babylon 5 popped in substitute characters over the years when original actors quit the show.

3758

Jeez, she’s out of work for all these years then bites the new hand that feeds her? Stupid bitch.

3759

Also, upon rereading your summary, you missed the Famous B promo. (It was easy to miss - I almost fast-forwarded past it myself). The guy we last saw getting his arm broken by Pentagon Jr. is now wearing a suit and appearing in commercials with sub-used-car-dealership production values, urging people to call 423-GET-FAME so he can help them go “from jobber to robber”.

It’s a working phone number (out of Morristown, TN for some reason) - it plays a recording of Famous B asking you to leave a message and tell him why you ought to be his next client. What (if anything) they intend on using those messages for, I have no idea.

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Oh right, forgot about Famous B. It looks like he’s going to be a manager for some down-and-out luchas.

I just watched Bull Dempsey’s last match on NXT, and all I could think about was that you would be opening a package that contained his used singlet, breathing in the fresh bovine aroma, relishing the $200 smell…

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FTR, It arrived freshly laundered (and autographed!) No natural musk present.

Though I may be somewhat portly, I’m still not big enough that it actually fits me, so I think it’s just going to live in my closet as a piece of pro wrestling history. Maybe I could wear it (under a pair of jeans) to a house show for nerd credit.

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Speaking of house shows, Ms. Cups and I are going to an Orlando one tonight. They haven’t been in town in ages (since the UCF/Full-Sail tapings) so this is the first opportunity we’ve had in a while.

It should be fun because we are taking another couple who’s male half is using Ms. Cups and I as an excuse to get back into wrestling, and this is their first wrestling show in years. I splurged (a whole 10 bucks extra) and got us front-row seats for this one. Let’s see how many high-fives I get