And now, my reenactment of tonight’s Raw;
Fun fact: October 3rd was the last episode of Raw which didn’t feature some combination of Roman Reigns & Seth Rollins vs. some combination of Kevin Owens & Chris Jericho.
Well, at least Jericho now gets to say that he’s a two-time Grand Slam Champion.
Thank the Lord for that.
Reigns was the worst US champion since Ambrose.
Well, I hope you’re ready for his Universal Championship run, because that starts at the Rumble.
All we can hope is that Jericho makes someone interesting chase him for the US strap until Fozzy hits the road.
Of course, Reigns lost unfairly, and of course, he’ll win the UC from KO. That match will be the piss break.
At least when he has an important title he defends it and people are gunning for it.
This belt just sat (horribly) on his shoulder for however-many-months and was never defended.
If he’s a UC champion he’ll at least have people to wrestle. Besides, I’m in the vast minority that actually LIKES Reigns. I don’t think he should be champion because I like championship diversity (other than the same 3 people over and over), but I like the guy.
Actually, the main reason I don’t like him as champ is because my beloved podcasts never shut up about it.
Well, it looks like WWE’s plans for WrestleMania are starting to come together.
I’m going to make a prediction that Roman’s UT reign is a short one - he drops it to Goldberg at Fastlane, making the inevitable Brock/Bill match at 'Mania for the title.
Meanwhile, Undertaker wins the Royal Rumble, Cena wins the world title off Styles, and they get the main event match.
I’m also gonna predict that Nakamura drops the NXT title to Bobby Roode at Takeover, enters the Royal Rumble the following night, and gets a midcard title match at 'Mania (probably against Jericho).
We’ll also likely get another IC title ladder match, Finn vs. AJ (assuming Finn’s healed up by then), Triple H vs. Seth, Big Show vs. Shaq, at least one tag title defense (Sheamsaro vs. Bullet Club?) the Andre battle royal, and some sort of women’s match (Steph vs. Sasha maybe, unless they can get Ronda Rousey in the ring like you know they want to.)
if you get axss(its spelled something close to that) on your cable you can watch last months new japan shows too
we get it but only if we drop tw’s plan and sign up to spectrum’s…which is more expensive atm…
They’ll be showing Wrestle Kingdom over the next four episodes. They’re going to have to cut some stuff, since the show ran nearly five hours, with almost nothing in the way of promos or sketches or the like, and they’ve got to make room for commercials.
Looking at the schedule, it looks like this week’s episode will be Okada vs. Omega. Next week will be Naito vs. Tanahashi and GoD vs. GBH. The week after that is the trios gauntlet match and Shibata vs. Goto, and the final episode will have Cody vs. CJ Parker, the Young Bucks vs. Roppongi Vice, and Kushida vs. Takahashi. Looks like Tiger Mask/Tiger Dark and the battle royal are out completely, and they’ll probably snip some bits from the matches to make room for commercial breaks. (The strippers that accompanied BC to the ring in the gauntlet match will probably get cut, and the tag titles match is gonna get edited to hell considering how many F-bombs Tama and Tanga were throwing.)
If you want to see what the hype is about without paying for New Japan World, it’s worth a watch.
I hate three count rollups. They’re such a lame way to end matches. RKOrton has made a career of kicking out of megafinishers, and he can’t kick out of a stupid rollup?
I like the Lynch vs Bliss feud. In no time, Bliss has mastered the bitch goddess persona. Even when she’s walking backstage, she’ll look crossly and sneer at passersby, as if to say “Oh my god, don’t make eye contact with me.”
I don’t think Nakamura is going to get called up for RR, but I do think Samoa Joe will be. Will he be consigned to RAM afterwards to work with (job to) Reigns, or SD to work with (job to) Cena?
Speaking off da Rumble, anybody want to guess which Legend (has-been) they’ll call up to fill a spot? I’m guessing Great Khali, just to throw their India audience a bone.
Love your UT storyline, but unfortunately I don’t think WWE would give Goldberg the title. If they didn’t do it for Sting, why would they do it for him? Plus, the last thing we need is another Brock title reign.
I can see your Undertaker storyline coming true.
No way Nakamura leaves NXT. This is the same situation they were in with Finn back in the day. They need him to stay until another star comes up and carries the brand. I can see Joe going up, but Nakamura is going to stay for another year or so.
Wouldn’t mind seeing the rest of the card play out like that. Honestly I want a Sheamus/Cesaro vs. Bullet Club match. Shasaro looks close to the win, then Finn comes out and beats them up, BC wins and the trio is reunited and creates the heel faction Balor Club. Then the Balor club runs roughshow throughout 2016. Imagine if AJ joined too somehow? Yikes!
Khali is so slow walking to the ring that the next guy gets there before him.
Then he blows out a knee trying to get in the ring.
You know what? They did a great job selling Baron Corbin as a credible threat last night. JBL and Styles sold him from the announcer’s booth. If they would just do more of that with every superstar, the place would look like it was filled with top guys without bringing in old has-beens to show how much they are NOT building new guys.
Actually, I thought AJ was kind of ambivalent about Corbin. He just seemed kinda “whatever” when Corbin called him out. He just regards Corbin as a way to soften Cena up for their upcoming match.
AJ definitely needs a clique. Maybe they’ll get Heath/Rhino to switch places with Gallows & Anderson.
I think it’s a little too soon for Rousey - she’ll still be considered “damaged goods” even in April.
As for Cena winning the world title, remember that they have to make a reasonably big deal of it, as he would tie Flair’s record. Maybe a repeat of 1994, with both Taker and Cena hitting the floor together at the end, but this time, the WM title match is triple threat rather than giving the two of them separate matches? That way, Cena ties the record at WM, and you can give Taker rest breaks during the match.
just a question since I haven t followed the Japanese feds for years … does the IWGP still exist with real or are they legacy titles they have in the yearly all in one shows ?
sort of like the old wwe cruiser/light weight title that was officially dropped but it was so popular and it kept wwes name alive in japan so vince let it slide but was still bouncing around japan for a number of years in the 80s/90s?
Last night on Talking Smack, Alexa said something about how she’s going to keep the title and there’s nothing Becky can do, blah blah.
Becky: “See you next Tuesday.”
…boom!
I don’t know if the IWGP ever existed as an independent body rather than as a kayfabe part of New Japan, but almost all of their championships are promoted under the IWGP name. The only exceptions are the NEVER openweight championship and the NEVER trios championship, which started out as developmental titles and are now open to the entire roster. There’s no New Japan championship - just the IWGP and NEVER championships.
Not too good of an idea but…
Undertaker wins the Rumble (somehow…) while Cena wins the title off AJ. Then UT and Cena face off at Fastback, where UT wins the title off of Cena. They have a rematch at 'Mania where Cena wins the title back from UT therefore giving him the record and NOT having a part-time champ.
Fastlane is a step down for the Undertaker. He only appears at the major PPVs.
anyhoo
*BAHWANNNGGAAAAAHHHH
BAAAAANH*
I haven’t done a LU synopsis in a few weeks, so here’s what I remember from the haze…
Last week, after Cage beat Texano in the Best 3/5 series, High Priest Dario Cueto awarded him with a mysterious gauntlet. Cage sneered at first, but Cueto begged him to try it on, As he did, the gauntlet sent an electrical charge into Cage’s arm, and he decided he liked it after all. So I guess now Cage has been possessed by some ancient Aztec warrior spirit.
In this episode, Cage is paired off against newcomer Veneno, who looks as close to Spiderman as copyright issues allow. Vamp says his name means “poison,” so I guess he’s a male black widow. He eluded Cage and caught him in a Hurricanrana or two, which Cage shrugged off and then exterminated Veneno in 2 seconds.
Next, Texano took on Sultan of Sleaze Joey Ryan. During their match, Famous B (dressed as a cowboy) and Holly Meowy came to ringside to pull for Texano. When Tex was down, Joey retrieved his bull rope with bad intentions, but Famous B grabbed the other end of it. While the referee was reprimanding the rope pullers, Holly gave Tex a golden horseshoe, with which he used to bonk Joy on side of the head and get the win. Afterwards, Tex left with Famous B and Holly to celebrate their new coalition. Then, Sexy Star came out to kick Ryan, shouting NEVER AGAIN! I guess the aftermath of date rape maybe?
Next, Johnny Mundo came out to do a promo, and shit, he pulled off a damn good promo. Johnny hadn’t done much mike work before, letting his playboy persona speak for itself, but he knocked it out of the park. He didn’t do any Ric Flair theatrics, but just mixed in coolness, vanity, casual douchebaggery, and implied entitlement. “Taya, I know you’re back at home, working on my documentary, but I miss ya girl!” PJ Black and Jack Evans flanked him for the bromance trifecta, but he asked them to leave the ring so he could bask in his own glory. He said some unflattering things about his future opponent The Mack, who eventually had enough and invaded the ring Stone Cold Steve Austin style. Mundo called for security and Mack gave them all Stunners, grabbed the mike, and told Mundo he’s going to enjoy making him his BITCH!
As Cueto and LA City Councilman Delgado are in his office enjoying blood brandy, El Dragon Azteca barges in and demands a death match with Matanza. The ensuing match is very similar to the classic Mil Muertes vs Fenix match a couple of seasons ago, where much real estate was destroyed. The match ends when Mat choke slams EDA through the back row riser platform. Later, the camera went over to that spot to show just how far EDA had fallen, and it looked a good 20 feet.
Rey Mysterio Jr came out, and he and Mat fought through the crowd back to the service platforms, where they kept teasing Mat gorilla slamming Rey from the top of the rafters, but Rey managed to monkey flip Mat through the top of Dario’s office. EXALTED EXCREMENT! Dario ran up to the mike and told everybody to get out of the building while he tried to negotiate the wreckage to find his brother.
Whew.
After the closing credits, Marty the Moth looked like he was stalking some girls backstage, but he got crowned by an unseen assailant. Next scene, he’s bundled in ropes, much like a cocoon. Cocoon:Moth. Get it? Turns out his sister Mariposa had done the deed, in revenge for him turning on her the week before. She taunted him and left, and the scene ended with Marty trying to gnaw his way out of the ropes. Marty’s such a freak. He needs to be more famous.
*BAHWANNNGGAAAAAHHHH
BAAAAANH*
You’ve got Sexy Star’s match endings mixed up. She came in to berate Veneno, not Joey Ryan, because she was blaming Veneno for being the one who keeps leaving spiders around for her.
I should take notes. The grey cells are dissolving.