Well, we still have Smackdown. Let’s see how it shakes out. I have a feeling that we’re not really set. Like you say, Mr. Cups, there’s no reason for Rowan to be on Team Cena. That and I expect the real ‘last minute push’ to inconvenience SuperCena.
I rarely watch Raw these days since it’s easier to just watch the PPVs on the Network and see the condensed version of the storylines, but I tuned in last night for Grumpy Cat.
My thoughts, more or less off the cuff;
- Raw opens with Triple H talking about how WCW failed because the inmates ran the asylum. That’s mostly true - WCW was effectively controlled by a clique of older guys who refused to job to anyone and constantly put themselves and their buddies over at the expense of the product, and who, on camera, constantly used their authority to rig the rules in their favor and give themselves all the championships.
We then go on to see the Authority put itself over at the expense of the product, refuse to job, and use their authority to rig the rules in their favor to give themselves all the championships.
Intentional hypocrisy, or a failure to learn the lessons of history? I’m leaning towards the latter. Maybe they should all just start wearing nWo shirts while they’re at it?
Of course, Triple H’s rant about how the end of the Authority would doom WWE doesn’t even make sense, seeing as Vince is the one who enacted that stipulation - are we meant to believe Vince wants WWE to fail?
Going into Survivor Series, AJ is now the only babyface champion, and she’ll probably be losing the title to Nikki, meaning that for the second time in a year we’ll have all heel champions, and IMO, that’s a big mistake from a booking standpoint.
On the plus side, now that Harper is Intercontinental Champion, we can rest assured that his push is over and he’ll be jobbing to R-Truth and Big Show on Smackdown every week, because that’s what you do when you’re Intercontinental Champion.
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I don’t get this new gimmick for Kofi & company. They’re what, televangelists now? I don’t see how this is going to put them over any more than 3MB put its members over.
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Miz doesn’t know how to pronounce “tyranny”. Grumpy Cat’s response to his movie pitch was spot on. Is it wrong that I want to see Grumpy Cat vs. Miz at Survivor Series now?
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Am I seriously watching an angle where a 24-hour party person is feuding with a mute in an Easter Bunny costume, one of the commentators thinks it’s a real bunny, and the other ones are arguing about whether it’s Ron Simmons? And the bunny tried to hump his rival? Are we sure it isn’t 1994 again?
This seems to be a running thing with JBL, for that matter - apparently, his character is incapable of distinguishing between a person in a costume and the thing that the costume represents. I recall Damien Sandow dressing up as Abe Lincoln earlier this year and JBL telling Maggle how DISRESPECTFUL the babyface was being by attacking our sixteenth president.
Rose vs. Bunny is going to be the SS pre-show match, isn’t it?
- So Dean Ambrose has gone from main-eventing Hell in a Cell, to being in a feud with Bray Wyatt where Bray wants to convert him. Funny, I could swear this exact same sequence of events happened last year to another babyface who was immensely popular in spite of not being the guy who WWE told us to like. Are we going to see “Dean Wyatt” in a boiler suit soon?
It was at least nice, at* one hour and six minutes into the show,* to see a babyface actually get the upper hand in a confrontation.
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Larry the Cable Guy is hosting next Monday? Suddenly, Grumpy Cat seems like a stroke of genius.
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Why do wrestlers always stand up backstage watching the TV at a 45 degree angle while a camera films them? It’s not really a natural TV-watching posture.
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JBL cracking jokes about how all Teddy Long ever did was book impromptu six-man-tag main events was actually funny, which is strange coming from him.
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It’s nice to see that Ryback has gone back to the in-ring style he had before his heel turn. He’s much better as a face than as a heel. Cesaro has borrowed the chain-suplex spot that Brock Lesnar used at Summerslam, and used it to good effect to put Ryback over. If Roman Reigns doesn’t get over upon his return, I could easily see Ryback being the one who gets to challenge Brock at Wrestlemania.
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You know, there’s something ironic about an American woman pretending to be Russian while putting down an Armenian woman as a poor example of Americans. Sorry, Lana, but I’ll take Kim over you any day.
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Wait, Heath Slater is a babyface now? I’m surprised JBL doesn’t think Rusev is actually being told off by Uncle Sam. But then again, he’s probably deeply confused inside about whether he’s supposed to be rooting for the patriotic American or for the bad guy.
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HOLY SHIT ERIK ROWAN IS GOING TO EAT GRUMPY CAT. Wrestling is weird. Grumpy Cat responds by falling asleep, no doubt mimicking most of the audience at this point.
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Oh, wow, a segment where Steph buries Big Show and tries to bribe him to turn heel. I seem to recall this exact same sequence of events happening last year… with these exact same people. Did they accidentally grab a Raw script from last year by mistake?
This sketch is silly anyway, because the idea that they’re going to start handing out HoF inductions as part of onscreen angles makes absolutely no sense.
And then Steph threatens, on live TV, to commit immigration fraud in order to intimidate Sheamus. Because there’s absolutely no way that could backfire on the Authority, right?
And then she makes a… #2 contenders match, since Cena has already won the #1 contendership? This angle makes my head hurt.
And of course, it doesn’t even matter since Rusev and Henry get sent out to break up the match anyway, making what had up to that point been the match of the night, and the entire promo leading up to it, utterly pointless. You’d think Mark Henry would be a little uneasy about working with Rusev after all those times they fought and how much he loves America and hates Russia, but no, all heels are automatically allies regardless of how much sense it makes and…
…the audience is chanting “Cena! Cena!” It all makes sense now. This is all a devious master plan to actually get the crowd to cheer for Cena, isn’t it? Bravo, Mr. Levesque. Bravo.
- Even Maggle hesitates when trying to figure out which Bella is being forced to cosplay as AJ. God damn it, this angle is terrible.
Brie winning the match was at least good for a chuckle.
- Fatal 4-Way tag match? How the hell does that work? I assume this is to put the belts on Miz/Sandow without having to do a heel vs. heel match.
The audience responds to the 8-man-tag, meanwhile, by chanting “WE WANT MIZDOW!”, then proceeding into the stock “We’re bored so we’re just going to chant for the commentators” chants.
Cody gets the pin, which, per standard WWE logic, means they absolutely won’t retain the titles on Sunday.
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We go back to Grumpy Cat to find her annoyed by the fact that the cameraman has interrupted her nap. I know that feel, Grumpy Cat. I know that feel.
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Why are contract signings even a thing when an authority figure can order two wrestlers to have a match on no notice, purely on a whim? Especially since, at no point during the entire promo, did anyone actually sign the contract?
Anyway, Raw both begins and ends with Triple H talking. Which I’m sure is what he believes is best for business. The audience responds, as one would expect them to, by chanting “WE WANT TITS!”
Cena’s promo is a great example of why he’s in the position he is, and he’s got the crowd eating out of his hand.
And so, for our SS main event we have Rollins/Kane/Rusev/Harper/Henry(/Cesaro?) vs. Cena/Ziggler/Show/Rowan (SUDDEN FACE TURN FTW)/Ryback. Final segment was good, but as for the rest of the show? Needed more Grumpy Cat.
Since I’m still on “break” from main roster product, I’ll leave y’all to the weekly “WTF is going on on Raw this week”. I’m much happier, I think, when I only have to get grumpy about them switching to a recap opener on NXT rather than opening hot with a match. I’ll consider hopping back in after TLC, maybe.
Anyway, this morning I woke up to an email from Amazon letting me know that oops, I’d forgotten to cancel my pre-order on WWE 2k15–I thought I’d done so when I was considering ordering the Hulkamania edition and it wasn’t available for pre-order. Anyway, now I’m torn; I do want it, but it’s been a rough few weeks in the wallet, and I could stand to save the money. Besides that, I’m neck deep in Assassin’s Creed Unity and will be for quite some time.
Maybe I’ll sit on it, wait for some reviews–I’ve got 30 days for a refund from Amazon.
I’m on vacation this week and missed Raw, but is there any reason given Rowan wouldn’t be on Team Cena? As I recall, he’s been wandering around doing odd, seemingly random things for a couple weeks now, what’s one more bit of randomness?
Maybe they’ll interview him on Smackdown or something, but right now I think is character is almost like Brick from the Anchorman movies.
Renee: So why did you join team Cena?
Rowan: His head is fuzzy like a puppy. Puppies come from Germany…ole!
Renee: …
Rowan: Cows say moo! (walks away)
Renee: …
Remember that to Vince, tag teams exist only to be broken up so that they can feud for a month or two and then one of them can get a singles push, because it worked for Shawn Michaels in 1991 and therefore if he keeps doing it over and over again to every single tag team that gets over surely it’ll produce another HBK eventually.
Hmmmm… I don’t see Luke Harper as the new HBK, but maybe white trash cultists are becoming the new sex symbol. Charlie Manson’s about to get married in prison after all.
HeeeeyAyyyyAyyyAyyyyyyy
I can only assume that Rowan will turn on Cena. I don’t see another explanation of why he’s there.
In fact, I’ll Wizard it right now. EVERYONE will turn on Cena, but somehow he’ll power through and win the whole thing by himself.
Because fuck you, that’s why.
I feel the WWE is currently experiencing schizophrenic decision making. A few recent RAWs have been surprisingly good. At the same time, inexplicable things also have happened on RAW that just make me scratch my head, things that make no story line sense and honestly I don’t see how it’s good for business or anything else.
The last few PPVs have been almost unambiguously bad.
Some of it I can discern what they’re going for, some of it I really can’t. Like why take a super hot feud that you could run all year (Ambrose v Rollins) and put Ambrose off on Bray who has been nothing but boring since his Cena feud ended and turn Rollins into mostly a lackey of Triple H / Steph who isn’t really doing any real interesting feud with anyone. I guess theoretically Rollins is supposed to be feuding Cena now? Sorta? But also RKO as well.
Some stuff like Luke Harper I think is because there are backstage forces that are trying to promote good workers. And I’ve been saying for awhile that’s exactly what Harper is, him and Rowan had some simply amazing tag matches with the Usos and Harper can really go. Rowan a little less so but Rowan has better work rate and psychology than is probably appreciated by most.
If Kurt Angle was being legit, in an interview with Jim Ross he said the thing that surprised him the most when he reached out to the WWE to start some preliminary talks on a contract (it’s believed to have fallen apart at this point) is that according to Angle he was negotiating solely with Triple H. He said that’s what shocked him, is Vince wasn’t running the show, at least insofar as negotiating with a potential big star goes.
That makes me think the WWE is genuinely in a period of divided leadership. We know Vince is never going to be totally uninvolved until he’s in the ground, but he may genuinely have given Triple H enough power that we’re seeing some things happen because Triple H wants them too; but also we’re still seeing stuff happen because Vince wants them to, which may explain why combined it just feels schizophrenic. Most feuds and angles don’t really seem to be building to anything these days, which is just weird. The sole exception is the possibility of The Authority being knocked out of power which would almost be like a “reset” for the entire company storyline wise.
Lucha Underground 11/19
BOWAHHHHHH BAAAAANNNNHHHHHH
This show is surpassing anything WWE, including NXT.
Luchas used to be kind of campy and cartoonish, but Robert Rodriguez’s influence is turning them into something truly magical. Their masks and ring attire are Hollywood special effects level. Drago’s mask looks CGI-rendered. I’m really digging King Cuerno, even though he lost in his debut. He moved like a panther, and closed in on sudden attacks like a predator gouging an antelope. He didn’t do the high-flying tactics as much as other luchas do, but he really conveyed an effective ring presence. That’s also a new identity for him, as he was Hijo de Phantasmo before LU. I’m sure our resident historian **Smapti **can supply more details.
Pentagon has a really good look as well. He painted skeleton teeth on his lips before donning his mask, so his freaky-looking face looked motile instead of frozen in place. His match with Fenix was fucking amazingly jaw-dropping. They put more action in 7 minutes than an entire RAW episode.
Matt Stryker is coming along as a cool analytical play caller, reminiscent of Gordon Solie back in the days of Georgia Championship Wrestling. He identified moves like “reverse corkscrew topé” or something like that. Vampiro serves well as the cultural voice of the announcing team. He fills the viewers in on the histories and motivations of the luchas, fleshing out their personalities.
LU also defies typical wrestling sequences. On WWE, a smaller man might put in some offense against a bigger man, then get knocked flat by one punch. The action then slows down considerably, as the big man kicks and stomps and puts on a 5-minute rest hold. Not so in LU. Big Ryck used the typical strong man counters on Mundo in their match, but Mundo often used the momentum of the blow to channel a new attack. There were few rest holds, which the camera crews made look more interesting with spins and switches. There was one spot where I thought some technical glitch had occurred, but it was to show Cueto’s goons ambushing Prince Puma backstage before coming out to attack Mundo. “Backstage” in this case refers to the tiny hallway by Cuerto’s office which kind of overlooks the ring. It just seemed like a random thing for a moment until I understood what was happening, so no harm done.
The “Anti-Divas” match was pretty awesome as well. The ladies brawl and knock each other around as much as the men. Stryker said it was like his 4 sisters fighting over the bathroom.
BOWAHHHHHH BAAAAANNNNHHHHHH
Agreed, Lucha Underground was spectacular. Still not digging the ‘same old same old’ Evil GM trope, but it is what it is.
And damn, great job with the commercials for their own network during the show, because otherwise I dunno if I would pay any attention to their network other than watching LU. Exploitation film night, Kung Fu movie night, etc. Awesome.
I’m guessing the Authority loses but refuses to give up their power and we have a Vince/HHH fued.
My guess: the Authority loses, and on Monday, Vince announces a new WWE Commissioner. I can think of three possibilities:
1 - Mick Foley.
2 - Sting. You didn’t expect him to wrestle, did you?
3 - at least on an interim basis, Daniel Bryan; his first order of business will be to order Nikki to be Brie’s “helper monkey” or be suspended from wrestling on the spot.
I would mark out like it was April 6, 1985* all over again if, somehow, they could talk Magnum TA into doing it.
*the day WTBS’s Saturday wrestling show switched back from WWF to NWA
Drago is a fairly new wrestler from what I understand, but I like his style. He’s a AAA former mixed-tag champion. Interestingly enough, the current champions, who he lost to in April, are Pentagon Jr. and Sexy Star, and it’s kind of surprising they haven’t brought up that alliance, but maybe they just don’t want to book the AAA titles into storylines here. (Also, I believe Pentagon Jr. is a babyface in Mexico while he’s being booked as a heel here, so that might be part of it as well.) I’d really like to know how they’re doing that effect with making his tongue look thin and forked like a snake’s tongue - makeup, post-production, or just really extreme body modification? I’m not sure.
I really enjoyed this episode - I thought Mundo vs. Big Ryck was a bit rushed, but I enjoyed the use of the backstage interlude to set up the finish. Ryck and his gang had a very nWo-ish look to them as they were decimating Mundo. One thing I noticed that was a very nice touch was that after the DQ, Mundo was announced as being the winner outright instead of being the winner “as the result of a disqualification”. As I understand it, getting disqualified is generally seen as more shameful in Mexico (as opposed to, say, WWE, where heels get themselves DQed all the time with no apparent consequences) and there’s an opportunity here for them to build on that tradition. I accidentally read a spoiler on Wikipedia that the Lucha Underground championship is going to be established on an episode airing sometime in the next few weeks and that Prince Puma will be winning it, so it’ll be interesting to see how the storyline with Dario, Ryck, and his gang on one side, and Puma and Mundo on the other, works into the title chase.
I’ve definitely been enjoying some of the unique spots that the luchadors have been using - I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like the finish in the Drago-Cuento match, and the same goes double with the spot where the referee got used as a springboard (and didn’t become unconscious immediately upon getting bumped). Ivellise used the same chain-suplex thing Brock Lesnar did back at Summerslam as well. I’ve read speculation that some of the matches may have been taped twice and spliced together to pick the better executed spots - I don’t have a good enough eye for editing artifacts to know if that’s true or not, but given the highly-produced style they’re going for it wouldn’t surprise me.
I hope someone at WWE is paying attention to this show - from what I’ve read, the first few episodes are already getting higher ratings than TNA or ROH, and while WWE Network doesn’t have ratings in the traditional sense, I’d wager that their numbers are pretty close to NXT’s. This promotion is only a few weeks old, but there’s been talk of them wanting to do tours and live supercards down the road, and if the product stays consistently good and ratings keep improving it might become genuine competition to WWE’s quasi-monopoly at some point.
Didn’t realize this when I was writing my earlier post, but Pentagon Jr. and Sexy Star aren’t the only current AAA champions appearing in LU - King Cuerno, who Knowed Out noted is known as El Hijo del Fantasma in AAA, is their current cruiserweight champion.
One thing LU hasn’t done yet that I’ve been hoping to see soon is a six-man tag. “Trios” matches are a pretty big thing in Mexico to the point that there’s a separate tag title for three-man teams, and some of the best lucha libre matches WCW put on back in the day were six-man tags. I haven’t noticed yet whether they’ve been using this rule in LU or not, but in tag/trios matches in AAA, if the legal man is knocked out of the ring, one of his partners can immediately jump into the ring and become legal without having to tag in, which generally results in a faster-paced match, and I’d love to see them use that rule in the future.
Mundo/Puma/Fenix vs. Ryck’s gang, maybe?
Yeah, Prince Puma is supposed to be the main Face of this season, not Mundo.
While I’m pretty tired of the heel authority figure wrestling trope at this point–one of the things I like about NXT is that JBL and Regal have been pretty neutral, to the extent that they show up at all. (Well, Regal’s neutrality melts away a little bit when he gets an opportunity to turn on the charm and flirt with Renee, but then again, so would any hetero or bisexual man’s.) But LU’s felt pretty fresh with it so far, maybe just because it has a Latino “accent”, so to speak.
And yeah, if you’d asked me what Robert Rodriguez’s TV channel would look like, El Rey would pretty much be it. 
Fuck the NXT
Fuck the WWE
Hehe, T-Cups’s girl Bayley lost again.
Overall, this week’s NXT was pretty underwhelming. Bayley & Lynch had a lame, sloppy ending. Then two squash matches, and then the Vaudevillains gave a couple of midgets airplane spins. Enzo & Cass saved the show, but Ascension brought it back down again. Kidd vs Parker was OK, nothing astounding, and the show ended with too much acting. Yes, we all love Sami Zayn. Yes, we all want him to win titles. No, we don’t want to hear him whine about it.
If anything, this ep served to set up and maintain storylines leading to NXT: Secret of the Ooze, but LU is knocking us on our asses and WWE needs to take notice! They have the talent to match the luchas, but they get too mired in rhetoric sometimes.
I will say I’m digging Renee Young on commentary. She gets off some good riffs and jokes and shows she can deal with the testosterone. When Riley made some dated reference, she said, “Who are you, my dad?”
Other than being a boring NXT, it was so SHORT.
It lasted, what, 50 min or so? They had the announcement of Zayn/Nevelle in the “win or go be the bunny” match on Takeover 3: Take it on home, and then copyright and then done. I was blown away.
It must have been NXTs fall break or something because NO ONE was there.
Oh I just remembered…we have a Steen begin date! It’ll be interesting to see how NXT fares with Steen/Itami/Balor as their big three since they already have a couple big name acts, and it’s only an hour show…some call-ups?