Any WWE fans in the audience? (Part 1)

The Game Room
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A decent RAW last night (save for the godawful pointless divas matches).

Started with a confusing promo from Reigns. He’s pretty bad on the mic and I don’t understand the point. Make him scary? Kind of an asshole? He just fell flat to me on that promo, and if the WWE is going all-in on him, and making him Cena 2.0, he has A LOT of work to do. Also Kane came out whom I HAAAATTTTEEE

I always will love an Ambrose fight, so he didn’t disappoint as normal. I think he and RKO work pretty well together.

If I ever go to an event I swear I’m gonna have a sign that says “Push Kofi”. I love me some Kofi Kingston and I think he should get a legitimate push. He makes his opponents look good, he’s willing to do awesome spots, and he’s willing to go all out in a ladder match. He had another good match with Cesaro, leading to a win! Which confuses me because I don’t know what this does to Cesaro’s character. Is this supposed to make him stronger? weaker? more of a heel?

Rusev crush. Which is kinda fine with me because he at least isn’t doing squash matches anymore. He still wins, but at least RVD is semi-legit.

Pointless-ass promo with RKO and Kane. I guess it shows dissension in the ranks, but it was ruined by…you guessed it…Kane

Sandow is hilarious I don’t care what anyone says, but this week he fell flat. He needed to come out as Bret in the first place, then be sharpshot (sharpshootered?) by the REAL Bret and call it a segment.

Why is Paige being all buddy-buddy with AJ? They’re literally the only Divas who can fight, so make em rival! Also can we call the team Pai-Jay Lee?

Rollins and Cena made a pretty good match. Cena isn’t the best foil for Rollins’s athleticism, so he felt a bit wasted, but otherwise it was a decent match until. GODDAMN KANE. He’s so pointless. I hate him. I hate his stupid voice, and walk, and look, and mask and…gosh…everything. It’s not even heel heat for me, X-pac heat all the way. And it all ends with a yawn ending. Kane interferes, Cena is knocked out, fake cash in, Ambrose, copyright, go home.

One more til Battleground right?

142

You and I must not have watched the same promo. Dude called Kane a bitch to his face and then speared Fit Finlay. (I also recognized Jamie Noble and Mike Rotunda (i.e. Irwin R. Shyster) among the executives they used in that segment.)

No disagreements there. That was a hell of a match, even if they went to the same old “fake RKO-clothesline-real RKO/pin” spot that they use whenever Randy actually has to win a match clean.

There’s a guy who did some research recently and came up with a history of the WWE championship as it would have been if there had never been any non-title matches, multi-man matches, or storyline title strippings. If one follows that history, then Kofi is the three-time and current world champion.

IMO, they missed an opportunity to have Sheamus put “Sandhart” in the Sharpshooter and then have Bret call for the bell.

I hate the way they’re using Kane right now, because I dislike booking where the heels are ineffectual pussies who can only win a match via cheating or outside interference, and the way things are Kane is basically just the Authority’s I-Win-Button. That being said, I got the impression from his promos tonight that they’re about to turn him again, and since I enjoyed the comic-relief Team Hell No version of Kane a lot more than I’ve enjoyed his recent antics, I consider that a good thing.

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I really liked Kane in his original run as a monster heel and also liked that, up there with Taker, he was a tall big guy who could/still can work a good match. You don’t see the latter very often because almost all of his appearances now you can tell his actions are heavily pre-scripted (I think it hurts that wrestlers don’t call spots and work a fluid match as much as they used to, but I get the impression some of the lower card this still happens.) But Kane has been very poorly used as a character, if you’re going to have him be this bumbling pussy whose only role is to interfere in matches for the Authority keeping him as Corporate Kane made a lot more sense.

Trying to rebrand him as his old school “monster” style heel doesn’t work when you make him lose in a straight fight to anyone. The original Kane monster heel run he was the only guy in WWE at the time who could kick out of basically any finisher (back when guys didn’t kick out after finishers 3-4 times a night), including multiple tombstones from Taker, and even the top babyfaces got manhandled by Kane in many instances. That’s essentially how a monster heel should be, but WWE doesn’t seem to remember that.

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Orton: I’m starting to hate that kid.

Kane: I’m starting to hate you even more.

Kane’s promos, “I’m the devil’s favorite demon” blah blah blah are old hat, but I like his conversation skills. He shined greatest in this category back when he and Daniel Bryan were undergoing group therapy. I liked it when he had that job at a greasy spoon diner and told the doctor and Bryan “The cook made demands on me that provoked my anger issues. I resolved them by dunking his head in the fryer.”

Aside from that, Kane’s always been regulated to some kind of support role. UT has been wrestling one match/year for the past 5 years or so, so here’s another tall guy who choke slams people. The major heels need a fall guy, so here’s a tall guy who choke slams people. Bryan needs somebody to feud with while Orton and Cena are at it, so here’s a tall guy who choke slams people. Kane isn’t going to make waves. He may not be the top draw, but he’s had a lengthy career. He knows the business, and can fill in when needed.

145

My opinion is that Paige is turning heel and will betray AJ (who seems to be playing a face currently) after she gains her trust. Then Paige will join up with Cameron and AJ will team with Naomi.

Don’t forget, he has to carry on the tombstone piledriver too.

146

Kofi holds his own, but he needs to add a moonsault to his moves if they really want to call him a high flyer. He jumps really high… then punches someone. He jumps really high… then does a crossbody. He needs to do a flip!

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Something else I noticed about one of the feuds, and it makes me realize something about myself.

I really don’t like watching other people kiss. So this whole Fandango/Ziggler/Summer Rae/Layla thing can stop now because I don’t like the PDA

148

I can deal with the PDA. What I can’t deal with is Layla trying (and failing) to pretend she has an American accent.

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So who do you guys think will be next to move from NXT to the main roster?

Adrian Neville: He’s already beaten RVD, and could probably work well in matches with Del Rio and Cesaro, but I have a feeling Vince would bury him after a few debut wins. Probably the next Kofi Kingston.

Sami Zayn: He’s beaten main roster has-beens like Justin Gabriel, and has the goofy-but-effective personality that would win over fans. They might want him to take the Arabic script off his trunks, however.

Tyler Breeze: They already have Fandango as the narcissist heel, and Breeze is probably smaller than Rey Mysterio. He would probably have to change gimmicks and be the WWE equivalent of Rockstar Spud. He should stay in NXT for now.

Amore and Cassaday: I could see these guys working with Rybaxel and the Wyatts. They seem to be naturals at connecting with the crowd.

Ascension: They’re like three-quarter scaled Road Warriors. They squash all the runts. Maybe if they were Paul Heyman guys, but I don’t see them being more than enhancement talent to the Rhodes brothers.

Charlotte: Oh, definitely. Maybe after AJ’s return has settled down a bit.

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Charlotte and the Ascension for sure…I just don’t know when.

I think the Ascension guys would be good rumble entrants, working together to eliminate a guy or two to show their power, and then bring them up shortly thereafter.

Hell, Charlotte could be called up tomorrow and fare just fine.

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Has anyone played any of the recent WWE video games?

I haven’t had a wrestling game since WCW/NWO Revenge for the N64, so suffice it to say it’s been a while.

I might be thinking of picking up 2k14, but I don’t know much about how the games are nowadays

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Pretty much every year I buy the new WWE game and rapidly lose interest. A big part of that is it seems that most of the online multi-player opponents have ridiculous CAW’s with maximized stats and 0 lag. Not that I’m bitter or anything.

2K14 is a nice evolution but doesn’t bring anything really new to the table. The 30 Years of Wrestlemania is a fun romp down memory lane, but so many of the matches have obscure victory conditions that it can be a chore sometimes.

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I can definitely see the Ascension as Paul Heyman guys. I love seeing them on NXT, and they remind me a lot of Demolition - they’re technically heels, but they win their matches clean because they’re so awesome that they don’t need to cheat. They could definitely use a spokesman, though, and Paul seems like exactly the right guy to put them over.

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Nobody, hopefully! Vince and Kevin Dunn need to keep their filthy main roster hands off my NXT guys. Seriously, anybody going up to the main roster is a moment of dread, waiting to see if they’ll screw it up. (For women, “if” becomes “how”; the best a main roster lady can hope for are five minute piss-break matches that at least aren’t demeaning.)

That said, Sami and Adrian have been working house shows, I think, so they’re probably on their way up. The Ascension seem to be an inevitability, just because the main roster needs more tag teams. A bit further out and Tyler Breeze seems likely; hopefully his gimmick won’t slot him into Fandango’s area, though I fear it will. Further still, and Enzo Amore needs to have a rocket strapped to his back–if not as a wrestler, than as a manager.

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I find it odd all the fans on the Internet who get upset about how the Divas are used and talk about how great the female wrestlers are on NXT. NXT female wrestlers are basically no more impressive than female wrestlers have ever been–which is not impressive at all. Sure, anytime they aren’t just slapping/hair pulling and screaming and doing real wrestling moves it looks marginally impressive, but I don’t get the point.

If I want T&A there’s better places to get it than the WWE. Sid Eudy (Sycho Sid / Sid Justice) said in a radio interview recently that he has little respect for women’s wrestling and in his opinion it’s a waste of time on a card for something that may not even really sell a single ticket to the event.

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The problem with women’s wrestling in WWE is Vince.

157

Arguably, the problem with women’s wrestling in WWE is Trish. Hot model who can’t wrestle and can barely talk happens to be the one-in-a-million that can pick things up at an incredible pace, and there’s been a decade of the WWE trying to get the same lightning in a bottle since.

Beyond that, it’s something of a chicken and egg problem. Nobody’s cared about the division for so long that they can’t justify giving them enough time to get people to care about the division.

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I used to write RAW reviews for a cable website, and my vendor used to work for WWE. She told me the Divas were constantly frustrated over having little air time to show for their hard work. She couldn’t give me an answer as to why they retained Great Khali. :slight_smile:

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1.237 billion Indians.

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Surely at least one of them can actually wrestle, though? Or, you know, move with a basic level of athleticism that you might expect from the average WWE fan…