*BAWANGAWANNGGGHHHH
BAAANNNHHHH*
It’s Dysfunctional Trios day! Opening match is Son of Havoc, Ivelisse and Angelico vs Drago, Aerostar and Fenix. SoH and Ivie are on the outs, with horn dog Angelico entangled in their drama. Aerostar and Drago have been facing each other in a best of 5 series with the series tied at 2-2, so they’re trying to trump each other. At least Fenix didn’t have didn’t have vamp Catrina looming over his shoulder, but he kept having to act as peacemaker between Drago and Aerostar.
Angelico acted as fall guy for most of the match. Every time Ivelisse came in, she used super bitch power to overcome her male opponents and slap SoH while they were reeling. About half the match was various luchas setting themselves up outside like bowling pins for strikes from a jumper inside the ring. JUMP crash JUMP crash JUMP crash… of course, Aerostar and Drago would accidentally annihilate each other amidst the chaos. At the end, Ivelisse refused a tag from SoH and left the ring, but he managed to turn his misfortune into a double springboard on A & D, and then hit a shooting star press ftw. Super fun match.
Next, friends Sexy Star and Super Fly came out for a match, and then Dario Cueto emerged from his office and told them he would give them a reason not to be so friendly to each other and made this a Mask vs Mask match. The loser must unmask. Matt & Vampiro stressed how forcing a lucha to unmask is considered a huge insult to their integrity. It’s also Dario’s subtle way of shitting on Sexy, as he doesn’t want freaks like her sullying his temple. Which is why he keeps a mass murderer locked in the basement.
By this point, it’s easy to think of the female luchas as just another one of the guys. SS and SF work a fairly technical match, with SS taking advantage of SF’s blown spot for a rollup pin. At this point, the announcers explain that the unmasking is an actual ceremony. The loser prostrates in front of the winner, who removes the mask. SS is obviously reluctant to do this to her friend, but the dude’s already got rock star hair and probably had some kind of maskless career prior to LU, so it’s more of a career rebranding. After the unmasking, Pentagon Jr. ambushes the two, knocks SS out of the ring, and makes Super Fly a Super Gimp.
Finally, Prince Puma faces King Cuerno for the LU championship. I see Konnan’s abusive mentor relationship with Puma as a parallel to Pulp Fiction at this point. Remember the scene where we see Marsellus from behind, speaking to Butch, advising him to overcome his pride and take the money to throw his next match? Konnan wants Puma to accept Hernandez as a team member, which Puma seems reluctant to do.
Sometimes Dario Cueto’s pronouncements are confusing, I assume because some things get lost in translation, but I think next week Puma’s team takes on King Cuerno’s team in Trios competition, but tonight the two wrestle single. KC has Cage and El Tejano on his side, and Puma has selected Johnny Mundo as his 3rd team member, which Konnan doesn’t like.
I like Cuerno’s style of preying on his opponent’s vulnerability and launching spears on their weak spots. Puma is like the Shawn Michaels of LU. He takes sick bumps and comes back in spectacular fashion. The extra team members lurking outside the ring made for some confusing moments, as the bad guys are always going to get in cheap shots and the good guys are somehow unable to prevent this from happening. I don’t know if they were filling in the gaps from unfinished scripts or what, but the whole match turned into a massive clusterfuck and it became hard to identify who was doing what for why. Hernandez tries to help Puma, but Puma rebuffs him. At the same time, Hernandez and Cage are supposed to be enemies, but Hernandez won’t retaliate because Puma doesn’t want his help or something. Puma wins at the end, and all 6 guys brawl to end the show.
Back to work…
*BAWANGAWANNGGGHHHH
BAAANNNHHHH*
