You sound a little manic … IANAD, just sayin’.
I feel like my life has been worthless too, but in a totally different way. I’m friggen old and my parents have been dead for years, but they were the greatest parents I could ever ask for.
It was me, and me alone, that screwed everything up. It’s too late for me to change anything now, but you’ve got your whole life ahead of you and plenty of time.
(bolding mine)
This. If your foundation in life is a solid, self-confident, self-loving center, the conflicting and opposing messages and motivations of others can be put in their right perspective. Life is unavoidably full of all sorts of people; many of whom have motivations and morals that run completely counter to your own. If you know and love yourself, however, and have a firm grasp on your place in the world, these forces can be seen simply as part of the ‘negativity’ in life needed in order to be able to understand and appreciate the good in people.
At some points in my life, I’ve gone on autopilot and just keep saying to myself something I read once, that’s easy to remember:
*Act positively.
Plan negatively.
Expect nothing.*
Sometimes expecting nothing made acting positively easier. And keeping busy planning helped.
Hey, Hurk, you’re still breathing, right? Not attached to an iron lung, completely unable to communicate with the outside world, right?
Then, it’s not too late.
Put the self-pity away and do something to unscrew your life.