Haha I don’t know if I’m allowed to swear on here… I just turned 24. Yes I know, still young… But I feel like most of my life has been a waste pertaining to the people I’ve surrounded my life with. Family, friends…
Ok, I do have one very loving mother which I am very, very, very grateful for. But other than that I’ve talked to my dad at least once per month my whole life, and recently I’ve realized, whyyyyy do I spend so much time talking with my brainless, no balls worthless father? All I can think is he’s a P.O.S, she’s a P.O.S…She definitely was a…you get the point, and I honestly feel much better about the whoooole picture now, not to have to care anymore…I think a lot of people are with me here, this is how successful people become successful, I think they need to have a realization such as this to be able to evolve in life.
Right in the upper L corner of this sight, it says fighting ignorance. Exactly right, I don’t give a damn anymore, about you ignorant zombie-like pieces of…yeah you know.
At first I thought I was attracting a lot of negative energy to myself by thinking these thoughts, but I feel better and stronger than ever! It all just came to me randomly, a beautiful strong dose of clarity…Exactly like in the movie Young Adult where Charlize Thereon is depressed over her past, and her worthless parents don’t support her! And her ex doesn’t have enough balls to tell her in the beginning, what happened was awful, but you need to move on… Maybe something like, this is inappropriate!? And at the the end of the movie, Not only is she told by one of the people in that town that everybody there is worthless, and that she has a much higher calling in life, but she realizes she doesn’t give a &*^%$ about any of those people, just worthless pieces of *&!%
People are mostly just… people. They have good traits, they have bad. And guess what? You do, too. If you walk around in life thinking that you’re better than everyone else, you’re going to have problems. Get over yourself.
Alifeworthliving, As I read this, you are just venting and airing frustrations at being disappointed by other people in your life … which is fine to do.
You do have gratitude for being blessed with your loving mother.
This poem “Anthem” by Leonard Cohen comes to mind.
Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There’s a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in.
Been there. Done that. Got over it. Parents are matter of chance. Some of us get the sucky ones. Friends you can do something about. Get new ones. Don’t depend on anybody and this becomes less of a problem.
“In my life why do I give valuable time to people who don’t care if I live or die?”
“Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now”, The Smiths.
I feel like that a lot, especially at work. I also have lousy parents who I’m not much in touch with and some shallow, narcissistic friends (I live in New York, it comes with the scenery). However, each of these people do have redeeming qualities, and even if my employer doesn’t give a flying fuck about me they’re still paying my bills.
I’m turning 23 in April- I’d like to think no matter how crappy things seem now, things will likely get better, and it’s worth it to try to continue to cultivate positive relationships and pursue goals beyond working a lousy retail job.
I don’t think everyone’s a piece of shit though, I think carrying around a bunch of hate (or at least expressing that hate, you can’t always help how you feel on the inside) would be counterproductive to what I just said above.
Even Morrissey agrees, “Why do I smile at people I’d much rather kick in the eye?”
I agree with you fully Catherine Zeta, I’m not for carrying around the negativity as it sounds like. I guess the reasons for the post is the fact that it can be bit shocking, the big picture. Not only the situation, but how naive I have been. Hence Morrisey’s “Why do I smile at people I’d much rather kick in the eye?”
I think it’s great that you’ve realized at such a young age how simple this is. The next thing though, is to focus on learning how to recognize good/bad people before you get too involved. Being raised around bad people makes us very vulnerable to putting up with crap in our friends etc.
So do some reading and seriously research - how to tell good people from bad. And make a committment to yourself that you will not go through life pouring time and energy into anyone whose behavior you find yourself excusing or justifying.
You wouldn’t agree that it’s important to change the people in your life,when they don’t support you in your goals? Or financially when that has been their obligation? When you see where their true priorities really lye? Sometimes there’s a huge difference between how things appear, and what the truth is. I think in order to do something worthwhile in life, you have to have this clarity to stop wasting your time with people who have their priorities all messed up.
People are not just…people like you say. Some people are uplifting, supportive and have their priorities in order.
And some people have their priorities very messed up, are ungrateful selfish, ignorant and are no good to associate with.
Catherine Zeta-
Thanks for your post, I agree 100% You need to pursue good relationships, and your goals. And I like your quote from Morrisey too…
I agree that if you weren’t raised to recognize the differences, you find yourself around the same people. And great bit of information, about learning characteristics of people, and not pouring energy into people who don’t deserve it…
Speaking as someone who was really fucked over the first 20 years of life…
First you’ll be angry, and then, little by little, it will stop mattering so much. The more time and distance you get, the more perspective you will get, and probably the less anger you will have. The more life you live, the more you’ll realize that things are tough all over. It doesn’t mean your pain isn’t real - it just means your pain is shared.
You’re at one of those big moments in life. You have the divine revelation, but what you do with it is up to you. I hope for your sake you use it to seek out what you really want and is worthwhile in life.
Sure, there are bad people out there, and you shouldn’t associate with them. But when you say everybody that you have known except your mother is bad, well, really? Everybody? When you start thinking that way, you might need to look at yourself as the common denominator.
Just turned 24? Congratulations, your frontal lobes are coming online. It usually happens between 25 and 30. An increase in perspective is a wonderful thing. If you’re lucky, you’ll have a shift in your understanding of yourself, other people, and social processes every 5 to 10 years as you gain experience and think things through. If you’re not lucky, you’ll spend your life telling the young’un “I remember when I first realized that most people are worthless pieces of &^!%.” You know which experience I’d wish for you.
This first shift will probably be the most noticable. Olives said you’ll be angry. You’ll definitely be disappointed. You’re shifting from a child’s perspective to an adult’s perspective. Don’t waste time shaking your head over being naive. A human child has an incredible amount to learn and no inborn criteria to judge information against. A child is also dependent on the adults around her. Believing people’s self-descriptions is both a useful temporary shortcut and a safer stance than declaring an independent perspective while weak and needy.
But you’re beyond that, now. Not just your neurons, but your hormones are telling you that your perspective is just as valid as anyone elses. Welcome to individuality. Glad to have you. You belong here.
Oh. Uh. My Dad also had a similar revelation when he was 25. I know he was 25 because he told the story often. He never left the perspective that most other people were defective and/or evil. It didn’t make him happier. And it didn’t leave him able to predict or influence people’s behavior. We’re more complicated than that.
May this milestone you have passed be followed by many others in their turn, while you remain and have alifeworthliving.
Hey,** alifeworthliving**. I think your epiphany was great. I just hope that you don’t get confused, as I did, when I had the similar thing happen to me. Don’t think, when you meet somebody that is hypercool, that your prognosis was incorrect. It’s just the good side of that person that you’ve been seeing. Maybe not even that, maybe you are tricking yourself into believing that they are cool. But, they don’t/can’t have it in them to be ‘good.’
And, that’s not even mentioning the POS people.
But, of course, some people will tell you some are good, some are bad. But, that doesn’t matter, because nobody cares about you as much as you care about you. They care about themselves. Which is good. And, you have to remember that you need not associate with the POS people. If they are bad, you don’t need the albatross of hatred; just get them out of your life, and you’ll find you can still function as if you *did *hate them!
I would take issue with one of the posters above, tho. I don’t think it is possible to learn to tell the good from the bad people. Until you get dumped on, then, of course, it’s easy.
Good advice already given and good observations already made so all I’ll add is…
[QUOTE=alifeworthliving]
{snip} You wouldn’t agree that it’s important to change the people in your life,when they don’t support you in your goals?
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Sure is, as we all do better when other folks cheer us on.
[QUOTE=alifeworthliving]
Or financially when that has been their obligation?
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Not sure if my experience will be relevant here but, I wasn’t raised with the expectation that my parents were going to pay for my college education. Sure, they helped, but I had to pay for the bulk of it by working, getting grants, scholarships and loans. My parents’ legal obligation to provide for me ended when I reached the age of 18. Anything I received from them after that I considered a gift, and not something they owed me. YMMV.
[QUOTE=alifeworthliving]
When you see where their true priorities really lye? Sometimes there’s a huge difference between how things appear, and what the truth is. I think in order to do something worthwhile in life, you have to have this clarity to stop wasting your time with people who have their priorities all messed up.
[/QUOTE]
I agree that folks with messed-up priorities should be avoided like the plague. Here’s the tough philosophical part: there’s no such thing as the objective truth. There is no “one” reality. There’s only what we tell ourselves about what happens to us. And, different people can have very different reactions to the same event, including, some of them may not even notice something that to you seems earth-shattering.
Even people who share your basic sense of justice, ethics, morality, fair play, may not prioritize them in the same way you do. This doesn’t make these folks bad or useless, just different. It’s a sign of maturity to be able to recognize the difference.
& Good Luck.