Anybody else stressed out by message boards?

Anyone else get depressed after reading all the horrible things people feel comfortable saying only in complete anonymity- things they’d naturally never hear in real life? I miss my more innocent days, when I’d have to have seen a person’s face and known his name before I knew that he hated me. And I envy my friends who aren’t addicted - every time I relay the “horrible messageboard comment of the day”, they just laugh it off and go about their perfect lives, while I go back to the swamp to get my next fix of outrage.

Anyway, I keep seeing threads where people gush about the fun, supportive community. Am I the only one who is horrified daily by the comments they read on this thing?

My advice to you is spend more time in MPSIMS and less in The Pit.

Sometimes I get stressed out from a debate. When something seems obvious to me, and others disagree, and then everybody starts taking shots and trying to score points against each other instead of trying to understand each other’s position, sometimes it stresses me out much more than it realistically should. I realize it’s ridiculous, but it has happened on several occasions that a debate on this board is the first thing I think about when I wake up, and I get anxious about it.

I see how silly that it is, but I can’t help it.

Permit me to state the obvious: If you feel that your voluntary participation in an online community is having a negative effect on your real life, the only rational choice is to leave. If giving up the SDMB and/or LJ would cause a gaping hole in your life, fill it: find a new social group to hang out with (bar, church, etc.), get a card at your local library, drink booze, get a hobby, take up a new sport, or do some combination of these things.

I’ve learned to avoid threads on obesity because of the hateful, ignorant bile some people spew in there.

I may read flame threads, but I do my best to stay out of them, and there are times when I’ve decided not to read anything by a particular poster or on a particular topic, because it’s just too depressing.

MPSIMS, IMHO and Cafe Society are fairly safe venues. Another great place is OpalCat’s Fathom boards, which are much slower paced, and much friendlier. There is almost never any flaming of any sort. You can find them at fff.fathom.org.

That’s why I usually avoid threads about religion and politics (particularly ones in the Pit). Many of them are so heavy (not to mention upsetting when they trash, justifiably or not, a viewpoint I have) that they’re not worth reading.

But there are a lot of fun, humorous, uplifting and interesting things that people say because the internet grants them relative anonymity. TMI threads anyone?

This is the only message board I’m a regular member of, so I can’t speak for other places on the net, but this is perhaps my prime source of news and humor. Just gotta take the bad with the good.

Considering I’ve gotten a job, two places to live, an invitation to a wedding, and around half a dozen people I would consider really good friends from this message board, I’m going to say no.

It’s what you make of it… if it’s stressing you out this much, either take a break or read different fora.

You’ve gotta learn what bugs you and avoid it.

For me it’s not so much topics as it is certain posters. So if I see they have started a thread, or have significantly contributed to one, I don’t bother.

Heh! The Pit is a veritable mass of Alfonses and Gastones compared to the anonymous communities associated with certain ignorance-fighting message boards on certain journaling sites. If you think screen-names give anonymity, try reading in places where people are truly anonymous…the very worst slime to be found in human nature floats to the top.

After that, the Pit looks like Woodstock.

You just need a massage…

boom chicka chicka wow wow chicka chicka

;j

Yea, don’t see it either. I’ve bemoaned this privately to another poster. This board really seems to be a magnet for uptight, arrogant, people with chips on their shoulders (and I tend to believe mostly rich bastids). Arguments, complaining, and more complaining, backstabbing, whining, many jokes at the expense of others, moral and intellectual superiority fests, SDMB’s got it all. It seems like a lot of the people here lack perspective. I’m always surprised at the advice I see here in regards to romance and other sensitive matters, more skepticism and cynicism- No heart- Clinical. it’s almost as if this board has a borderline personality disorder in toto.

Shit. I tried to post on this same subject months ago and everyont complied nicely by showing what ignorant, insensitive assholes they all were.

Filli also started a thread or two on the subject, to no avail.

Fact is, there are a bunch of people here who are just into bolstering their egos by putting down other people.

On the other hand, there are some truly wonderful people here who don’t stand out as much because we notice most the anomalies.

There’s some quite skilled rhetoriticians posting here, who can take “Mary had a little lamb” and turn the phrase so that it appears you confessed to being a mass murderer of babies.

Then there’s a bunc of people truly devoted to “Conquering Ignorance,” even to the point of admitting they were wrong, if appropriate.

Then inbetween all of that there’s a bunch of us who fuck up on occasion, go on an inappropriate rant, act like an asshole (out of character, btw), strive to pursue and spread the Truth as we know it and alternately add value and cause stress.

ust don’t take it personally, especially if it’s meant personally. Remember, if someone gets under your skin, chances are it’s deliberate, and it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. Or perhaps not; maybe you are fucking up. But only pay attention if they tell you politely, since it’s too much signal to niose ratio otherwise.

Fugit. Don’t mean nuthin.

I’m a little concerned that anyone would expect an internet message board to function as a social and/or support group. Having said that, I always thought this forum was quite a bit less hostile than most of the other stuff that’s out there.

I’ve mentioned a couple of frustrating threads to my brother. He managed to put it in perspective by saying, “You do realize you’ve probably been arguing with a 12-year-old, don’t you?”:smiley:

See… I think that borderline personality covers you and many of the posters on the board.

You’re on the precipice of having a personality, yet you remain on the border.

Geez, Mockingbird, who the hell pissed in your Cheerios this morning?

I agree with neuroman, get out of the Pit and GD for a while. Go play in MPSIMS and Cafe Society.

I actually find the Pit kind of entertaining most of the time. Especially in the heated arguments. It seems to me that we have a higher concentration of intelligent, witty people on the SDMB than in the world at large and what would amount to a “fuck you” fest anywhere else leads to some of the best and funniest reading out on the 'net.

In Soviet Russia message boards, Cheerios pee on you!

I’ve been there.

Sometimes you just have to walk away from the computer. It’s hard not to defend yourself, but sometimes a thread just turns into an unholy hell and you’re not doing yourself any favors by staying engaged.

Every once in a while I need take some time off from posting. And when I come back, I take a close look at my behavior. Am I knowingly wading into threads that I know are just going to blow up? Am I getting overly excited, skimming posts, and firing off snarky replies to what I think they’re saying, rather than what’s actually there?

I used to have a rule: When angry, read your post three times before submitting.

Now my rule is: When angry, read all the posts three times before submitting.

Many times, my mouse was hovering over the “Submit Reply” button when I realized that I had misread or misinterpreted the post I was about to so masterfully rip to shreds, which would make me look like an idiot, piss off the other poster, and generally lower the tone of the thread.

People are reacting to your posts, after all. Putting some extra thought into what you are posting can help. Sometimes, yes, you just get pounded on by other posters for no apparent reason—but if almost everybody in the thread is on your ass, it’s time to look at what you’re posting and think that there could be a reason. (I’ve been there, too. sigh)

I find myself angered/ frusreated by the wilfull ignorance, petty behavior arogance… on these boards from time to time as well.

My solution, stop reading the Dope entirely for a week or two. Instead I peruse any number of other boards until by craw is about ready to burst.

After that, the Dope, even the pit, seems like an oasis of enlightenment.

I’d like to think you’re indulging in a highly subtle, ironic comment on putting too much personal investment in message boards. Unfortunately you’re probably dead serious, based on your recent spate of wholesale bile. Couldn’t make this stuff up, folks.

When it all shakes down, how much does it really matter if someone disagrees with you? It isn’t that different from in-person associations. If someone–or a group of someones–bug the shit right outta ya, steer clear of 'em and seek out those who don’t.

It seems to me there are two obvious choices. You can either hang in there with discussions that upset you, taking a breather now and then as needed, if you think the back-and-forth might actually go somewhere. Or you can stay right in the thick of the fray for the pure joy of arguing. The trick is figuring out when the hassle factor outweighs the enjoyment/possible enlightenment.