My dad was given the diminutive of his father’s name. Which, in spanish essentially means adding “…fito” to the end of his father’s name. His friends took to just calling him Vito. When he was in his early 30’s he had his name legally changed so that his first name was the americanized version of his dad’s name, and his middle name became Vito.
Everyone called him Vito. To this day, people who knew him for years argue over what the “A” stood for and call me to ask.
Oh, and to answer the OP, his parents called him “Fito” til they died. I guess that’s as accepting as he could expect.
I had an “heirloom” middle name, which was my great-grandma’s surname. My brother also has it. My dad, and his brother (and all my cousins) have it. My grandfather, and all his brothers and sisters (and many of their offspring) had it too.
I couldn’t stand the thing, personally. (I’ve had two other female friends of mine who had surnames as their middle names - they hated 'em too. Don’t do it, people!). I wanted a REAL middle name.
So when I got married I ditched the old middle name, and used my old surname as my middle (yes, that means I still don’t have a “real” middle name. But I kinda like the format, for continuity purposes). The only person who had a problem with this was my aunt, who was offended on behalf of my (dead) grandfather :rolleyes:
Oh, and the Victorian Register of Births Deaths and Marriages :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
I don’t have a problem with my family calling me by my baby name. I can’t really expect them to change.
But I don’t have that much sympathy for the parents, I guess. It’s a name, thay don’t have to live with it, and we had no choice in it at all. Who says we have to like it?
Well, as I said, if she simply didn’t like the name, that would have made sense and everyone would have understood. It wasn’t like that. It was some bizarre non-response to the question. Something to do with having submitted a short story to a magazine once (this isn’t a career thing or even a hobby thing. It was a one-shot deal) and saying that she needed to change her name to do that (rather than a nam depleume (sp)) like most writers use. It was all very shady and sad, mostly. And some other excuse about a guy who followed her into her building at work once. All very sketchy and such. Obviously there’s something deeper going on, but she won’t discuss it.
I dislike my first name and my middle name, but not vehemently enough to change them. Among friends I usually go by a nickname which I’ve gotten used to, but it’s too informal to use in work situations and such. I’ve occasionally thought about changing my name, but the hassle outweighs the advantages–especially since I can’t quite settle on which name I’d like to change to.
What I wonder about is a little different: are there any Dopers who were given a “creatively spelled” version of a standard name (for example, Mikal or Micheal for Michael) and changed it when they were old enough to do so? I know that I personally, as a compulsive language nerd and editor, wouldn’t be able to go through life with the name “Micheal”…though I do know somebody by that name (a woman) who pronounced it “Michelle”.
Conversely, does anybody prefer their nonstandardly-spelled name? My first name, while correctly spelled, is the feminine version of gender-neutral name, and I’ve often considered changing it to the gender-neutral version since that’s the kind of person I am. The only thing stopping me is that the gender-neutral version looks lousy with my last name, while the female version looks somewhat less lousy.
I go by my middle name. My first name is beautiful but the spelling is a nightmare .
Out of curiosity, have you asked your parents how they feel about the name change (If they are not of this earth anymore, I apologize for my insensitivity)? I feel that you need to take their feelings into account.
If they are ok with it. Then whatever floats your boat! Go for it.
My parents named me after my mother, and I’ve always gone by my middle name. When I got married, I dropped the first name to become Middle-Maiden-Married, like fishbicycle’s wife. I never felt like a Barbara, and it’s great not to have the confusion anymore. It very rarely causes a bit of trouble, since I technically I changed both my first and last names when I got married. I don’t know how my parents feel about it, but considering I didn’t change the name they always called me, I’m guessing they’re okay with it.
Umm, that was me above. Daniel has never been a Barbara either.
A school chum had his whole family change their name to their maternal grandfather’s name.
His mother only had sisters. His father had 10 brothers. :eek:
The mother of one of my classmates died when my classmate was only 2 years old, her sister a newborn. Their father remarried when my classmate was 4. I’ve never known her to call her “step” anything other than Mamá.
The stepmom adopted both children but the parents decided not to change their second (maternal) lastname, the law allows for both cases.
On the day my classmate turned 18, she came back late from mid-morning break. She’d gone to the court to get her maternal name changed, after the woman she’s called Mom for as long as she remembers.
The only ones who got pissed are her father’s sisters, whom anyway my classmate describes as “those old crows” when she’s being polite. Her birth-mother’s sister was one of the witnesses at the name change!
Her sister said she intended to do the same, so the whole family went and had it done.
I come from a very Catholic family and the same names tend to be reused. There are a lot of Marys, Josephs, Johns, etc. I have an Uncle Joe, a Cousin Joey, and a brother Joseph. Both my Aunt and my mother are named Mary and I was given that name at birth. It used to drive me crazy having the same name as my mother. We would open each other’s mail, have to ask people to clarify on the telephone, and since a bunch of my classmates were also named Mary, people would call me by my full name.
The story behind Ava is a long one. Basically, I didn’t like the name Ava at first but then people started calling me that (it was the first name of my full internet name) and I liked it because I instantly knew that they were talking to me and not my mother. I haven’t changed it legally yet, but I plan to eventually. My parents don’t like it but I don’t ask them or anyone from my family to use my new name. I’d prefer that they do, but they knew me by my birth name for so long that it’s hard for them to adjust to my new name. My mother asked me why I couldn’t just take a nick name of my middle name Teresa “Tess” perhaps. But my ex-girlfriend/best friend is named Theresa and often goes by Tess.
I wouldn’t care if my child wished to change their name.
My given name is Michelle. Up until I was 19 and in the Navy, I went by Mickie. Then I dated Dave, who didn’t like nicknames, so he insisted on calling me Michelle. From then on, that’s what I’ve used.
I don’t think my parents cared either way.
Oh yeah, great description, I can hear the quotation marks when my in-laws say Mr. Del’s name. He dropped his first name and now uses his middle name (I have always known him by the middle name). He didn’t like the first name because it’s a unisex name that has become more of a girl’s name.
His parents aren’t offended exactly, but they have this attitude that’s like “oh you crazy kids, always with the melodrama” whenever they say his name. As soon as he leaves the room, his parents will switch back to his original first name, like “oh, remember that time that <firstname> did such and such?” I don’t think they do it deliberately to make a point or anything, it’s more like they don’t take it seriously enough to remember to call him by his name of his choice.
I have a good friend who never liked his given name, and changed it to Bear in high school with his father’s assistance. (That had been his nickname since age 4.) His mother was a little freaked out by the change (her husband didn’t consult her before helping their son change his name!), but accepted it fairly quickly.
My brother and his wife adopted a new surname about six years or so into their marriage.
My brother’s friend Laura changed her last name as a way to get back at her parents, who got involved in a four-way “swinger” realtionship and ended up spouse-swapping with the other couple, causing her much humiliation and anger in the process. Laura liked a certain variety of fruit, so she went with its identifier for her new (and professional-sounding) surname (think along the lines of Bartlett pears, though pear wasn’t the actual food involved).
I have a similar problem, but I was a far more whiny/testy about it. FWIW, my chosen nickname never did catch on. I asked a few friends for a suggestion, and when “Uretha Franklin” ended up being the best suggestion, I finally gave up. Sigh.
If I seriously did change my name, I’d ask my folks what they thought, but I have a great relationship with them so people’s MMV. My partner, also from a vast Catholic family, has quite a few "Sal"s in her family. Not just several Salvadors, but her grandma’s Spanish name got anglicized to “Sally” and guess how many girls got her name and nickname? You yell “hey Sal!” at a family gathering, and twenty heads turn in your direction. I think it’s adorable. My partner Sally? NSM. But she’d never change it out of respect to her grandmother, as much as she wants to.
I had a friend who had a love/hate relationship with his father. He was gay, and dad was ex-career Marine. He hated both his first and last names, the first, because it was too plain and the last because it wasn’t.
He talked for years about changing it, but said it would hurt his mother too much.
A month after his dad died, he went to court an had both names changed. His mother went with him when he had it changed.
Today, he has yet another name, he became a priest, taking his son’s name. (He was married prior to coming out.)
At the college newspaper I chose my byline as my initials and last name while also dropping the suffix. Pretty soon some at the paper started calling my by my initials which was okay with me as much as I always hated my given name, which was the same as my father’s. (See other cool thread on the perils of naming one’s first born male “Jr.” "III, “XIX,” “XL”, etc.)
Since college I’ve introduced myself to all new acquaintances as my initials and it works pretty well. My father hates it and both parents still call me by the diminuitive of my given name which really, really grates, mais qu’est-ce qu’on va faire, alors? My sibs call me by an abbreviation of the diminuitive, which grates somewhat less.
I also get a lot of “what does ‘X.Y’ stand for?” initially from some new people, :smack: (bad pun, sorry) but eventually they come around to using it.