THERE…ARE…THREE…FIRES!
…wierd typo…must be these little puppets. The little button eyes keeping sticking between the keys.
I…I just…snorted.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Will, it kinda depends.
Does it have to look like an accident?
Too 
!
Haven’t read Reader’s Digest in years (except for an occasional skim at the doctor’s office if I’ve forgotten my book), and nor have I sent anything to them.
It’s possible that I’ve read it somewhere and it stuck in my sub-concious, but I thought it was an original idea when I suggested it to him.
Two rants, both work-related:
First, to retail and office computer users: Please don’t put cute little stickers on your monitors. I don’t care if it’s a little fuzzy cat that makes you laugh, or if that damn sticker saved your life in Korea. Some poor bastard is going to have to scrape that sticker off someday, and let me tell you, it’s a tiring and frustrating job. Same goes for drawing on your computer with marker. Just don’t. And don’t spill drinks on your cash register either. :mad:
Second, to my (hopefully former) cow-orker: I really have to wonder what your home life is like. Is your husband some kind of brain-dead tyrant? You’re so fucking obsequious. You apoligize for everything you do. The mildest bit of advice is followed by “Just a friendly reminder.” Your bare wisps of humor, which are apparently insanely hilarious to you, are not funny, and you do not need to tell me you were “just making a little joke”, and certainly not in a tone that suggests that I might not have gotten it and and that this was your humor ration for the day, carefully hoarded. You don’t have to make a careful explanation of where you’re going and where you’ve been every time I see you; I am not the boss. If you weren’t a tiny, frail little old woman I’d just rip into you one day. But perhaps I’ll just shatter your “helpful” collecting of soda can tabs instead. :mad:
Other cow-worker: I’m sorry that you have epilepsy. I’m sorry that you had an attack so severe that you injured your jaw and lower teeth and so had to visit the doctor. But how, pray tell, will your can-a-day of chewing tobacco help your poor chompers? Moron. 
PLease elaborate on the above…collection.
While stupid, that’s why they call it addictive. I quite smoking when they locked me in the hospital for three days, cut off my leg (well, almost) and gave me morphine on a stick. 
She dug my empty can of soda out of the trash and proceeded to “educate” me on the amazing program whereby one can trade tabs fo time on a liver dialyasis machine. I’m a Snopes reader, so I can’t help but feel a certain evil temptation to print out their explanation of the legend and take it into work. Is that wrong?
Print it out and leave it anonymously in the lunchroom.
(carnivorousplant, you’re really weird. I like that.)
I’d print it out and leave it right on her desk. But I’m mean when it comes to crap like that. :rolleyes:
Okay, I’m torn here.
Email here the Snopes page. Leave print outs of the UL on here desk, in the break room.
-OR-
Ask her if she isn’t worried about industrial magnets with that much metal lying around.
(Yeah, it’s AL, but she’ll probably freak out anyway.)
I can’t type with thise damn puppets!
The eyes get caug…
OHMIGOD! HAL’S EYE FELL OUT!
Not really. See, it just has to look like it wasn’t me.
And after this:
I’m hoping that you’re male, because I think I need to breed with you. If you’re female…um, so what? How you doin’? 
That was quite possibly the funniest thing I’ll read all week. Possibly all month. It’s in the top ten for the year.
Shut up and help me find Hal’s eye!
It fell between the D and the F, Gof famnn it!
Take it easy, take it easy!!
Unbend a paper clip, stick a tiny wad of chewed gum on the tip. Stick it between the D and F.
There, don’t you feel better?
Or is Hal now screaming because you stabbed his eye with such an obviously wicked tool?
Hey, you know what? I like playing World of Warcraft! I’m a huge fan of the game! My husband and I spent most of the evening last night questing together to get a non-combat sprite darter pet. We had a freaking blast. I’m not trying to get anyone to play the game who isn’t interested, okay, so I’d appreciate if people who don’t know shit about computers, let alone gaming could perhaps tone down the smirks and joking name-calling of “geek”. You know what I think is a geeky hobby? Scrapbooking!
I asked, “can you see anthing?” and Hal said, “Yes, wondefull things.”
Then I shook the keyboard upside down and his eye rolled under the desk.
I glued it back on with Liquid Paper. TM
He blinks a lot.
Would you guys on the subway please stop spreading your legs so wide you take up the space of two people on a subway bench-seat.
We all know, IT AIN’T THAT BIG!
As a follow-up. Another session of ‘telling them’ later, and… Well… It didn’t go as well as I’d like. Pretty much I’ve come to a place where I have to recognize that my friends aren’t that interrested in entertaining others as I’d like them to be. Harsh awakening, but… At least, hopefully, the empty promises will cease. 