Anyone else find sex toys too funny/awkward to be useful?

[Northern_Piper]

@Green_Bean

Why would you buy a toy that you found ridiculous? Why would you buy a toy that looks too awkward to use?

Advice for sex-toy beginners: If something makes you laugh, DON’T BUY THAT ONE. And try something simple first.

and a recent court case suggests that bets on Wii games involving sex toys are not a good idea:

Sex Bet on Wii Game Ends With Mountie Shooting His Wife

[Arrendajo]

My girlfriend and I have a nice collection of toys, but we’re up for trying anything we find lying around the house, too. I’m reminded of the tangerine fiasco…

[scootergirl]

@Arrendajo

I’m reminded of the tangerine fiasco…

Now there’s a sentence that you don’t read every day…

[ducati]

@Arrendajo

the tangerine fiasco…

Pretty sure that’s by Robert Ludlum, though I don’t see it listed.

[BrotherCadfael]

@Voyager

Clearly the porn version of Mrs. Pigglewiggle.

OK where’s the brain bleach?

[nearwildheaven]

@Arrendajo

My girlfriend and I have a nice collection of toys, but we’re up for trying anything we find lying around the house, too. I’m reminded of the tangerine fiasco…

I’ve also heard of mayonnaise jar fiascos, wine bottle fiascos, tool box fiascos (with the tools still inside), etc. :eek: You can’t make this stuff up.

[standingwave]

@nearwildheaven

I’ve also heard of mayonnaise jar fiascos, wine bottle fiascos, tool box fiascos (with the tools still inside), etc. :eek: You can’t make this stuff up.

And fiascos with the canvas drive-belt of a large floor-based piece of running machinery.

Now that’s a sex toy!

[simster]

@standingwave

And fiascos with the canvas drive-belt of a large floor-based piece of running machinery.

Now that’s a sex toy!

dude’s got ball

[JBDivmstr]

@simster

dude’s got ball

At least he still has one. Could’ve been worse. :eek:

[Girlundone]

[QUOTE=panache45]
We have a dungeon in the attic, with lots of equipment and lots of toys
[/QUOTE]
Personally I’ve found the best toys for bondage and discipline can be found right at the nearest Home Depot.

[Nametag]

@Lucky_13

You know, I remember a scene in the movie “Stripes” where this item was allegedly used. I didn’t understand how when I first saw it as a teenager, and now, many years later and with much experience under my belt (so to speak), I still don’t. Can someone please explain, or at least point me toward some relevant links? (Seriously though, I never understood how that worked.)

Not Stripes - Bachelor Party

And, of course, it didn’t work - it was a funny character making a joke about being sexually depraved.

[Siam_Sam]

@Lucky_13

You know, I remember a scene in the movie “Stripes” where this item was allegedly used. I didn’t understand how when I first saw it as a teenager, and now, many years later and with much experience under my belt (so to speak), I still don’t. Can someone please explain, or at least point me toward some relevant links? (Seriously though, I never understood how that worked.)

@Nametag

Not Stripes - Bachelor Party

And, of course, it didn’t work - it was a funny character making a joke about being sexually depraved.

Stripes too. I remember the scene well. Bill Murray suggested using it.

[Johanna]

@nearwildheaven

wine bottle fiascos

In Italy, a fiasco is a wine bottle, exactly.

:eek: You can’t make this stuff up.

Davvero.

[pkbites]

@Siam_Sam

Stripes too. I remember the scene well. Bill Murray suggested using it.

Your memory is skewed.

Bill used a metal spatula, a rolling pin, and then an ice cream scoop. But not a hand held mixer.

HERE is the clip.

[Siam_Sam]

I guess it is. Could have sworn he used a handheld mixer.

[pkbites]

@Siam_Sam

I guess it is. Could have sworn he used a handheld mixer.

Yeah?

To tell you the truth, me too. Which is why I looked it up.

It’s weird how memory can screw with you big time.

I can remember conversations I had with kids in grade school in 1966, but forget shit I really needed to buy while I was at the store yesterday! Fuck!

[JRDelirious]

Like someone said upthread: if it gives you the giggles, or if it makes you scratch your head and wonder WTF is it you do with it, better not buy it.

@VinylTurnip

I always wondered what people carry around in briefcases.

There is an exciting career for you with the TSA.
(And I’m sure there’s any number of people who pack these implements in their carry-ons just to mess with the screeners)

[Siam_Sam]

@JRDelirious

There is an exciting career for you with the TSA.
(And I’m sure there’s any number of people who pack these implements in their carry-ons just to mess with the screeners)

I can’t find it now, but awhile back a Thai lady wrote an amusing article on sex toys and interviewed one lady who she’d bought one in Hong Kong and had it in her carry-on for the return trip to Bangkok. Once the inspector at the airport there realized what it was, his amusement matched her embarrassment.

[Hershele_Ostropoler]

The chin-strap thing is goofy looking, but I don’t think you’re supposed to look at it.

@RTFirefly

You’ve mentioned this in other threads, and each time, my first thought is: your house is upside down.

@Green_Bean

The house is inverted too!

If it’s upside down and inverted, doesn’t that make it right side up again?

[42fish]

@Girlundone

Personally I’ve found the best toys for bondage and discipline can be found right at the nearest Home Depot.

“Home Depot: You can do it. We can help.”