Um, I thought you explained it pretty well in a few short words:
“all-purpose geek” who does “any vaguely-tech-related thing someone decided to throw my way and let me figure it out”.
Mine is worse: I am now a freelance writer/food photographer. I own a couple of cooking sites that makes some money, but mostly I own a small e-commerce company where all the work is sub-contracted. To complicate matters I work from home, and could easily pass as a stay-at-home mom.
After a previous life as an industrial designer, and a subsequent change of career to International commerce (Operations Manager of a cargo carrier), my current occupation is pretty hard to describe. So when asked by anyone what I do, I tend to say I am a homemaker. 
To me, a computer technician is someone who sets up and fixes desktops and laptops.
Maybe Roland Orzabal could be an “IT infrastructure and applications analyst”.
GIS Department
Programmer/Systems Analyst
At least that’s what it says on my business card. It’s fun to see how fast someone can change the subject.
I’ve been in GIS for 20 years. Way WAY before we had GPS systems available to anyone with a c note.
“Everything has a relationship to everything else based on its location. It’s called spatial analysis”
“blink”
:sigh: “I make maps with a computer.”
“Oh Cool!”
Here is the web site for a typical company (not mine) in my area of expertise.
So my answer to “what is it I actually do” is usually something like:
I’m a consultant
I do project management
I’m a forensic scientist
Computer shit
I help companies address the challenges and risks of doing business in today’s environment
Do you drive a 1976 Firebird? Live in a trailer on the beach?
You’re Jim Rockford. I knew it.
Glad to know ya.
Another ‘Oilfield Trash’ version here - my background was as a Cement Engineer.
Trying to explain that my friends and family and why it was important - 30 seconds in you see the glazed looks and the non-comprehension.
Now I am in personnel related to training for the same company. They still have no real idea what it is I do
Not to be snarky, but it seems like a lot of the respondents are more than comfortable bemoaning the idea of others non comprehension of their jobs, yet do nothing to simplify it down to hoi polloi level.
You guys are smart. You can come up with a concise job description that your average 8th grader can comprehend. Really you can.
Doesn’t mean that your job is less complicated or less prestigious, promise.
At some point you need to decide if youre more interested in impressing people, even if only a little, or communicating clearly. A lot of times communicating clearly means leaving out details that seem important to you if they dont add clarity for most people.
fisha mentioned thinking of your job description as a 30 second elevator pitch. I often hear aspiring entrepreneurs give 30 seconds elevator pitches for their company or product ideas and I’m always amazed how bad people are at making them simple and understandable. I recently heard some young guys describing a product they wanted to make that was, as far as I can tell, a tracheotomy tube that works better than others. They rambled on for two minutes about why it was better without ever explaining what it really was. What could be easier to explain than “we make a trach tube that’s safer or better or whatever”? You might say maybe those details were really important but I was watching the other people in the room and I don`t know if anyone but me picked up on what they were making, let alone what made it special. Hell I’m not even totally sure that I figured out correctly what they were doing.
So self-condescending or not sometimes it’s best to just explain things at the level people care to hear about.
I create special effects for computer games… so, yes, I have a hard time explaining my job. Usually, when they press for details, I just say, “I blow shit up real good.”
It sounds like you “handle the IT for a small non-profit.” With 50 people, are there any other IT people?
I do IT project management for a big international company. Can I explain what I do? - no, not to anyone who doesn’t do IT project management - and most people who do don’t do the sorts of work I do. Some days I’m not sure what I do. (My kids once asked me if I made something - I said ‘I make decisions.’) Unless you are interviewing for a job, they are making polite conversation. “How are you?” isn’t an invite to talk about your reoccurring gastrointestinal distress and “What do you do for a living” is a question where “I do IT work for a small non-profit” is an adequate response. Its small talk - at a party it really doesn’t need to satisfy. You follow it up with “and what do you do?” or “but my passion is baking” or “and I chase three children in diapers around in my ample free time.”
Me too! Only I tell people I’m a computer programmer. Only if they want the details do I get into the stuff about maps.
You’re an IT generalist. That seems to be pretty standard terminology, and there’s no real restriction to people with specific credentials.
In my last career, I was the lead software developer for a small team. Most people would hear that and think that I was some sort of programmer, but that’s pretty inaccurate. My job was to talk to the business folks and figure out what they wanted, talk to the other technical teams and figure out how our pieces fit into the overall framework, talk to the other developers and direct their efforts towards our milestones, and write the documentation. Sometimes I did some programming, but it was definitely less than 25% of my job. There has to a more concise term for this sort of job, but I’m not sure what it is.
Now I’m a grad student. I’d like to be able to explain my job to an eighth grader, or even a reasonably intelligent college graduate, but I’m honestly not sure that I can.
If it really bothers you, just tell them “I don’t sell anything, buy anything, or process anything. I don’t sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don’t do that.” Let them fill in the blanks with, say, anything.
Not only is it hard to explain what I do, even the problems I work on in chip design are things that most people haven’t thought about. When I was on Jeopardy I tried 3 times to give a PA an elevator pitch for Alex to use - it obviously didn’t work. My daughter never got it either, though she is getting it after we wrote some papers together and she went through a book on logic design to get some of the basic vocabulary.
Nobody outside of the pharmaceutical industry has really heard of my company’s name (though it is a major company). I usually have to say it a few times and say “It’s a pharmaceutical company”
I finally gave up and simply say that “I’m a computer guy in the Jersey pharmaceutical industry”.
If I need to simplify it further, I just say “I’m a computer geek” and leave it at that.
I don’t bother explaining any details of the work; if you are in the industry, you will be familiar with the same business processes and applications. If you aren’t in the industry, I can’t imagine you really would care about the minutiae of pharma applications.
Many years ago I worked at an insurance company for a short period. I was working on data feeds for a fraud detection system. That one’s easy, and folks find the concept of working on fraud detection to be kind of cool. It’s easy to tell stories of the kinds of hits we would find.
I’m an organizer for a non-profit. I get in touch with volunteers, potential volunteers, put on events, and try to talk to local legislators.
Try explaining to someone what a mathematician does.
-What, do you add long columns of figures?
-Only when I do my taxes. No, I create new meathamcis.
-How can there be new mathematics?
-You know, every piece of mathematics was created by someone originally.
-Yes, but surely it’s all been done.
-No, it hasn’t. There was probably more mathematics created in the 20th century than all the earlier history of mankind.
-Really, well give me an example of a piece of new mathematics you have created.
And then the fun begins. Fortunately, most people grimace and tell you that it was their worst subject and find pressing business on the other side of the room.
Perfect summary LOUNE.
I know what you do too, but I was the admin for the programming, production and music directors of a radio station for a while.
Now I have two jobs, night and day from each other and neither are easy to explain. I say that my main job is as an “auditor” and people presume that means taxes. I say I’m a “business auditor” and they think I poke business taxes. I explain that no, I go into the various locations of my company in the tri-state area (and further, on occasion) and ensure that each location is meeting a very specific and detailed set of requirements on everything from type of light bulbs to how well the floor is mopped and all that’s in between. “Oh, so you’re an inspector.” “Yeah, okay, let’s go with that.”
My other job is not at all explained by its name, which is a Greek word. When I explain it, people are still confused. The questions most commonly asked are “why would anyone need someone to do that?” or an incredulous “You get paid for that?” No, no one needs anyone to do what I do, that’s why they hire me. And I work for free. :rolleyes: