Cartooniverse,
On the topic of “holding passengers prisoner”.
The point to remember is that, unlike almost all other consumer purchases and event in daily life, riding on a plane is a 100% group effort. We all leave at once and we all arrive at once, period. At the mall, or even in a theater, you can get up and leave without impacting the other customers.
If we’ve left the gate and are waiting to take off, there’s no physical way to let you off without going back to the gate, thereby inconveniencing the other 50-400 customers who’re wanting to stay on. We do what’s best for everyone, and this is one example where you can’t “have it your way”.
If you charter the whole airplane, then you CAN have it your way; we’ll taxi back and forth as much as you want. Because you’re THE customer. Want us to wait an hour while you have an extra drink in the bar? No problem, boss. I often haul sports teams on charters. We go when they’re ready, not when we originally said we wanted to.
But when you’re one of a couple hundred, who of physical necessity must be treated exactly the same, well then you’re A customer. As Captain, I see my “virtual customer”, made up of all 200+ of you as a group. When the group wants to depart, that’s what I do.
Now you may not like that. You may protest “it isn’t fair.” Well how fair would it be to the other 199 people whoe don’t want to arrive 30-40 minutes later because of you? That’s the dilemma I face.
So far I’ve been talking about a scenario where we’ve left the gate. A similar situation is where we’re still at the gate, delayed for weather or mechanical or whatever.
If we’ve boarded everybody & closed the door, we’ve completed all the security checks too. That means that if you get off and have checked baggage, we need to pull your checked baggage off the plane too. That can take 5 guys 30 minutes of rummaging around in the pile in the belly to find your bag. And I and the rest of my 200 customers cannot leave the gate until we find your bag.
No checked bags you say? Good. Another common scenario is that we’re held up for weather, not so much here as enroute or at the destination. ATC gives us an estimate of how long the wait will be. Anyone who’s flown much knows that’s a guess, subject to large revision either way.
If they tell us it’ll be 45 minutes and 15 minutes later say we can go, we’ve got about 10 minutes to get underway or we lose the slot in the sky with our name on it. It’s definitely a “hurry up and wait, then rush like mad” scenario. If we let people off for a smoke or whatever, and we get the call to go, we’ll miss the slot & everybody waits even longer for the next one. So we tend to try to keep everone on the plane if at all possible.
I mentioned before that passengering is a group effort, where we manage the aircraft for the group, not the individual. The same thing is happening on a meta level. FAA HQ is managing the entire air system for the benefit of total system throughput, and the wants and needs of individual aircraft (i.e. me) don’t matter much.
The “hurry up & wait then rush like hell” isn’t easy for me either as an individual aircraft with individual desires, but I’m aware that maximizing system throughput accrues the most benefits to the most people most of the time. I never know about the times I have an undelayed lfight where somebody else waits 20 minutes so I can go through. But I know, statistically, that it happens. So I accept my turn in the barrel like a professional, and like an adult.
Now turning from the practical to the legal …
By Federal law, the Captain and crew are in charge of the airplane and passengers. By getting on, you’re surrendering some of your civil rights to a (generally) benign absolute dictatorship under me. Sounds harsh, but it’s a legal fact.
By Federal law, if you choose not to cooperate with my crew, we will politely inform you to calm down and remember where you are. If that doesn’t work and you persist in being a problem that appears to impact the safety or security of my other 200 customers, then things get interesting. You cease to be a customer in our eyes, we go back to the gate & you get to talk to the nice folks from the local cops or FBI. Downtown.
I have 200 other lives to protect and you’re become part of the problem, not part of the solution. I cannot permit that to contiue.
We’re not cops and we do’t have a cop attitude. But not cooperating with an airline crew is about the same as lipping off to a cop. You’re playing with fire, and when non-cooperation turns into refusal to comply we’re off to the races and you lose. Every time.
Harsh, but true.
