A friend of corresponded with a somewhat infamous prisoner a few years back. The guy had a very average, non-violent background and could very likely be innocent (I know, that’s what they all say). He was very nice but, as Earl Snake-Hips Tucker mentioned, even if they’re not running scams, exactly, they are looking for money, if only for lawyers’ fees, and their interest is often dependent on it.
While writing to a soldier is also a great idea, I can’t imagine a lonelier life than sitting in a prison cell 23 hours a day because you smoked pot and couldn’t afford a lawyer.
[ul][li]Don’t give them any personal information[]Don’t send them any money[]Don’t agree to interact with their friends outside prisonDon’t believe a word they say unless it is documented[/ul][/li]
My $.02 worth.
I wrote to a personal friend who was in the county jail for a while. He managed to avoid prison. And I’ve written to a guy in our church, a doctor(his license has been taken away) who is in prison for malpractise, a patient he treated with a controversial regimen died.
I think I’ll put in my own (married) last name, which is fairly common. I won’t get a relative, as the family’s pretty small, but my husband’s cousins are Army vets and it’s nice to think of somebody else doing that for them.
Thanks everyone for your insight. I’m still mulling over whether or not this would be a good fit for me.
Then I come across this and think it might be too good to pass up… this opportunity to make so many people on the outside smile too! It’s a win-win situation.
[ul]
[li]Give them made-up personal information and photographs of random strangers from the Internet.[/li][li]Give them money in the form of draughts for large sums drawn on accounts from imaginary banks, with “novelty check only” printed on the bottom.[/li][li]Agree to meet their friends but show up wearing a disguise to see what happens.[/li][li]Match every lie they tell you with a bigger one.[/li][/ul]
I’ve never done it, but that reminded me, when I lived in Kansas City I had a radio show late Saturday night (10pm-midnight) on a 100,000 watt station. I played only female artists, and I used to get a lot of “fan” letters from inmates at Leavenworth. They just loved, they all said, lying in their cells, listening to a female voice playing female voices (well, except for the occasional duet or instrumental). Only one guy was bothersome though. He was in, he said, for selling LSD, and he was, he said, an expert in the Gaelic language. Whenever I’d play Irish or Scottish music, like Capercaillie or whatever, I’d always mangle the pronunciation because Gaelic is the freakiest language on earth and doesn’t sound anything like the way it’s spelled (for instance, Eithne is pronounced “Enya” and Máire is pronounced “Moya”). It’s enough to drive a person crazy. It drove him crazy and he would ALWAYS write me correcting me. He wanted to teach me Gaelic so I’d get it right, but I just quit playing Gaelic music if I wasn’t absolutely sure how to pronounce the artist or song title.
I didn’t write back to any of them, but I often gave a shout out (“this is for James up in Leavenworth”) which, since there’s a city of Leavenworth (I know, because I was born there) and I had lots of other listeners from there, people didn’t have to know that the shout outs were for guys IN Leavenworth prison.
I would definitely try to avoid getting too personally involved (definitely don’t let money or romance get involved).
Still, I can see how it might be beneficial to write to prisoners, the same way some people do those prison ministries. An angry and alienated ex-con who has lost all his friends is probably a lot more likely to re-offend when he gets out than someone who still feels some kind of connection to society.
Our family was matched up with a prisoner through Prison Fellowship. Initially we committed to a letter a month for a year. We ended up corresponding several times a week over a period of approximately 10 years. It was a family project–the children wrote and sent pictures. We mostly wrote about the trivia of life–not much that was profound.
He wrote only once after his release. We’d been warned that this was likely–many prisoners don’t keep up the letter writing once released. Just before his release, he asked if he could send us some things for safe-keeping. We said sure. What he sent was some incredible art work, along with all the letters we’d written. They are a ten year diary/family history, recording little things we’d otherwise have forgotten. Both the correspondence and the returned letters were a real blessing.
We signed up for a new correspondent, but our new penpal was a bit of a con artist and we stopped writing after the year commitment. Then life got busy and we didn’t sign up again.
Had a relative who was in prison. He told me that all the cons have several pen pals. They all put on an act, gain their trust, and upon release, the guys usually have three or four women correspondence. They hook up with one of them. After using her for all they can, they move on to the next one.
Perhaps there are some just looking to correspond, but according to my relative, their motive from the start was to hook a sucker for when they get out.
I hate to admit this, but here we go. I have always looked at women who have been ‘conned’ in this way with an eyebrow raised.
I know a few women that ‘hold down’* male prisoners, and they know exactly what they are doing, even while pretending with the prisoner not to.
The women I know would meet a man in prison through someone (usually family member) they know in prison. Set up visits and write and start a relationship. The whole time, they are exploiting the fact that they can converse with a very handsome man despite being the type that the man would not give the time of day on the street. Only speaking about things I have seen with my own eyes, not speaking for all women that say they were ‘conned’ by prisoners. Still…it is easier to deal with women, although they could ‘con’ a less savvy pen pal also, I guess.
I mean, really though, how savvy does one have to be to avoid being conned in cases like these. Just write to offer support and comfort, don’t get involved emotionally.
*hold down = give money, letters, pictures, visits, send items, books, etc.
One of my nieces did and the results were not good. They “fell in love” via mail and since my niece was about 14 at the time, her concept of love wasn’t good. Her father was a colonel at the time, with a fairly responsible position, with base housing, and the guy not only escaped jail, he managed to sneak his was onto the base and located her house; he was attempting to enter the house when her father woke up, called the MPs and went out to confront the guy, who was armed. Her father had a 1911 45 and “command presence” in a big way and was able to hold the guy until the MPs showed up. His house was given twenty-four hour surveillance for quite a while and his daughter was escorted two and from school and was closely guarded while there. Base security was really increased after that little episode and his daughter was told “don’t do that no more.” The guy had been jailed for several armed robberies, during which he had pistol whipped a couple of clerks.
I wouldn’t permit any of my kids to ever become pen pals with any type of prisoner.
I wrote to Tony Martin the English farmer who was found guilty of murdering a burglar who broke into his farmhouse, he was jailed for life but this was reduced on appeal, he is now a free man.
I expressed my disgust at a system which allowed such (IMO) a disgraceful verdict to be returned.
Unfortunately Mr Martin proved a bit of a pain in the arse, constantly writing to me asking me all sorts of weird questions about the British legal system. I eventually wrote back asking him not to write me again, he never did.
That’s a remarkable story, because of the author’s insights into her mother’s personality more than the story itself, which is probably fairly common. Interesting.