I was wondering if anyone had some advice for me. I have a friend I’m concerned about. I’m not sure she knows what she’s getting herself into and I’m afraid she could get hurt.
She’s writing to some inmates in a prison. I think she’s making a mistake. She says she doesn’t believe they’re innocent. Although from what I gather, one of them profesess innocence.
I was looking for posts by SSG Schwarz as he works in this prison. No luck. 
What do I do?
Reported for moving to correct forum.
(Don’t worry, Jeraque, it’s just that this is misplaced in the GQ forum.)
I had a few cases where I worked directly with the client since they were appeals I did for the Public Defender. Those made me very uncomfortable to be honest so I really have no insight into the sort of mindset that is eager for this sort of exposure.
I imagine it’s mostly common sense stuff. Use a VOIP number that isn’t registered with 911 and can’t be traced (and is used ONLY for this purpose). It’s maybe $15-20 per month. If she’s not ready to spend that to protect herself and her family, then there is a lot more going on there, at least in my non-medical opinion.
Don’t give any personal information or any information that is sufficiently unique that when put together with other bits of an information jigsaw, could lead back to her.
Odds are her ‘buddies’ won’t want to go through that much trouble, but it would be the absolute height of arrogance and naivete to think that they couldn’t if they put their minds to it. A lot of these people are in jail not because they’re stupid but because they tend to make poor or impulsive choices. There is a difference - and it’s important one.
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Thread moved from General Questions to In My Humble Opinion.
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This old thread, which happens to be currently resurrected in the General Questions forum, has some good advice from knowledgable people. The consensus seems to be that yes, she’s making a mistake, and one that potentially could be quite dangerous.
ETA: What to do? Make her read that thread. She needs to understand that in doing this she would be a sheep among wolves, and while the wolves know how sheep operate, the sheep don’t know how wolves operate. Corresponding with prisoners can be bad news in ways that most folks wouldn’t even begin to imagine.
You can’t fix stupid, OP. She’s probably one of these deluded women that thinks she can “save” a man.
I knew a guy (pre internet) who was writing to several women in prison. He was not the type of guy who had any luck with women IRL so it satisfied a need for him, I guess. He refused to believe that this was a very bad idea and ended up sending one woman quite a bit of money because she promised him she’d get together with him when she got out.
She got out and he never heard from her again, of course. It was sad; he was really hurt. But some people just have to make their own mistakes in life and hopefully learn from them.
I dated a woman once that had a thing for serial killers. I of course didn’t find this out until post coitus. Not only did she own seemingly every book ever written about guys like this but she would send letters to them too. Crept me the hell out.
Well, just so you know, whenever I read any of your posts, I get a definite “serial killer” vibe. 
I’ve edited the title so it’s more descriptive.
She “doesn’t believe they’re innocent”? Why should she? They’re convicted criminals. Are you sure you didn’t intend to write: “she doesn’t believe they’re guilty”?
Depends what they did. If they’re serving life, she’s probably safe because of that. If they’re serving whatever because of some nonviolent crime, she’s probably not in any physical danger. If they’re serving a couple years for domestic violence…she might be in danger. There are like a million possibilities so you can’t expect a blanket answer.
I think the OP is just pointing out the nature of the friend’s…delusion? In that she’s not writing to them thinking they are wrongly-convicted and she feels bad for them. No, she is writing to people that she knows are criminals and she likes it.
In the thread I linked to above, it was pointed out that some of the dangers are not mitigated by the prisoner being stuck there (they might have friends on the outside) or the prisoner himself not being violent (they might be coerced by other inmates). As I said, the problems can come in forms that most people (those who do not have detailed knowledge of or experience with the issue) would never think of. So while there’s not an answer that would be accurate in every single instance, the blanket answer “don’t do it without learning about the risks and taking certain precautions” is a sound one.
Oh. I get it now. Thanks.
Thank you all for the input. I’m going to invite her to read the thread. Lots of straight talk and good advice. Hopefully something sinks in.
[ul][li]Don’t give them any money.[/li][li]Don’t contact any of their friends or relatives outside prison.[/li][li]Don’t tell them any of your secrets.[/li][li]Don’t believe anything they say.[/ul][/li]
And to the OP-
[ul][li]Don’t expect her to listen to any of the above advice.[/ul][/li]Regards,
Shodan
It’s very unlikely that he would get a friend on the outside to hurt/kill his pen pal.
It’s true that prison does not bring out the best in people and that prisoners who were convicted of nonviolent crimes are still more likely to be capable of violence than the average person.
It is. I’ve had a couple prison pen pals and it was totally fine, but it’s definitely more risky than dealing with a random person. Getting a PO box would be a wise course of action, although probably most women with male pen pals could eventually be talked into giving them their home address anyway. But at least it wouldn’t be immediate.
I once saw on TV a true story where a woman was trying to get her pen pal ON DEATH ROW (and she didn’t know him before that) to adopt her kids. She referred to him as “daddy” to them. Fucking nuts. Perhaps that’s not especially relevant to this thread but I just remembered it and had to share.
Not necessarily hurt or kill, but being threatened and intimidated isn’t exactly a walk in the park. From here:
"It’s not unknown for a prisoner to contact some of his colleagues outside prison, and have them visit the penpals and force them to bring in drugs and other contraband.
The pressure they can bring to bear is unbelievable, not just on you, but also on close family, and of course they may also make money offers, usually these do not materialise, but it has been known to trap the unwary.
Its not just that they are dangerous, they simply have no respect at all for anyone, chances are, you will be held in a sort of amused contempt, and no doubt your addy will be passed on from one con to another."
I started a thread about this very thing many years ago. I decided against doing it myself, but we did have a couple of people on the board who did write prisoners on a routine basis. I’m sure they’ll be along shortly to give you their experiences.