Yeah, the Seagull Sandwich is a great one - have fun with it, I wouldn’t dream of spoiling it for those who haven’t heard it before. For those of us who have, though, here’s a new one:
A dead man lies next to a rock. What happened?
Is it because the sandwich is made from George SEGAL?
Sorry, I’m tired and trying to find ways to procrastinate with my Slavic Culture assignment.
Mersavets, you are not even close. Or are you? Hmmmm…
King of Spain: did the rock kill him? I’m thinking maybe it’s a red herring and the rock is his tombstone. Close?
So, it was because he actually ate a Slavic Culture assignment!
Or am I getting colder?
The seagull one seems like it should that there was some sort of miscommunication between the chef and the customer.
But I can’t come up with what that might have been.
Nothing springs to mind on the rock, unless it’s someone else’s tombstone and the man died of a broken heart. Or the man is Goliath.
Yeah, the Seagull sandwich one is long, but a gem.
When I heard it, it was “Albatross soup”.
A hint: The customer got exactly what he had ordered - they delivered an authentic, real, exquisite seagull sandwich.
Albatross soup! That explains everything!
Clearly, the customer ate something in the past that he was told was seagull… and tasted pretty good.
This, however, was not it.
Where would you eat seagull? I’d say… homeless or shipwrecked.
So… lesse. Desert island story, someone else makes the food, and it’s long pig?
He’s sick because he realized what he ate in the past was eeeevile.
Okay, my turn. Simple one.
There’s adults, holding children, waiting their turn in line. At the head of the line is a woman who takes each child and holds them while a man shoots them. If the child is crying, the woman tries to stop the tears before the man shoots.
Albatross, it’s a freakin’ seabird…
[/JohnCleese]
The kids in a line is for school pictures, right?
Nnnnnnope.
Gannet on a stick.
I like this one. I have a big scar on my knee. When someone asks “What happened?” I always say “A man cut me with a knife.”
Which is perfectly true.
And Rob gets it in one.
I initially thought the line with children was to get innoculations, but since they were trying to stop them from crying, if they were crying, beforehand I went with the photographer guess.
That would be a nurse, ya?
Well, I’ve been away from the boards for quite some time, and I haven’t answered any questions, but here are a bunch o’ my favorite lateral thinking questions:
- It was a hot, muggy, overcast day in August. The detective was waiting on the lawn when the man came out of his house wearing a pair of shorts and a wrist watch.
“There was a robbery in town about two hours ago,” said the detective. “Apparently the robber fits your description.”
The man laughed as he laid back on the hood of his pickup truck. “This truck and I just returned from Pine Ridge about ten minutes ago. That’s over 500 kilometers away, in case you didn’t know. You can call the cousin I was visiting and he’ll verify my story.”
The detective looked at his watch and said, “It’s 4 p.m. now. What time did you leave Pine Ridge?”
The man glanced at his watch and said, “I guess it must have been around 7 a.m.”
“You’re obviously lying,” replied the detective. Why?
Since these are long, I’m only going to type out 2, and when you get both of them, I’ll dispense some more.
- A man was picking peaches for the boys and girls in his neighborhood. He picked enough peaches to fill a box labled “72 Peaches”. He weighed the box on a scale and found that the box and peaches together weighed 10 kilograms. The man then decided to pick enough peaches for the kids in the next neighborhood, so he added another 32 peaches to the box. On the second weighing, the box and peaches weighed 14 kilograms. What, if anything, is wrong with this scenario?
Good luck…
You know, I’d never sit on the hood of a car in jeans if I just went a few hundred miles in it. Shorts… ooooh, roasted flesh!
I dunno, the box was already full?
That reminds me of an Encyclopedia Brown story I heard once! I loved those books! Anyway, just thought I’d share with the rest of the class. Carry on. 
The rock is not a tombstone.
(abel, I remember that Encyclopedia Brown story too.)
The shorts and/or watch were what was stolen?