Anyone Remember Bart Simpsons Phony Phonecalls?

This is the origin. These are phony phonecalls made to a Jersey bar called The Tube Bar. Howard Stern fans will remember Billy Wests imitation of Red the Bartender. Definitely NSFW.

My favorite of Bart’s was when he called Moe’s and asked for Amanda Huggenkiz.

Moe: “Amanda? Amanda Huggenkiz?” “Ahh, why can’t I find Amanda Huggenkiz?”

The only one I specifically remember is I. P. Freely

Barney: “Maybe your standards are too high”.

Red was priceless. He had been a boxer when he was young. There’s a pic online of him meeting Rocky Marciano.

I read once that Red opened the Tube Bar in 1933, right after Prohibition ended. It speaks volumes to how tough Red was that his business plan was to muscle in on the mob.

I’m not sure that is the source. I have heard most of them since I was a kid back in the sixties and seventies, and I have never heard that recording before.

I didn’t listen to the whole 35 minutes. But the first part is definitely Red, at the Tube Bar.

I first heard the calls on many-generation-copied cassette tapes around 1990. There was also a CD compilation (it also included unrelated material: a compilation of calls made by "The Screamer’, a DC-area phone prankster, and a recording of a spoken letter to the editor of a teen magazine by a Valley-girl type called ‘Teenage Gang Debs’).

The CD’s liner notes were the first place I heard biographical information about Red–his name, and the location of the bar. They claimed Red was born in 1890, eventually retired to Florida, and died in 1983. There was also a fan club with a newsletter. It contained fan fiction (William F. Buckley channeling Red in his erudite manner) and classified ads, one of which was for a chartered-bus pilgrimage from the west coast, picking up passengers en route to Jersey City.

Somewhere in all this material, I heard the claim which dated one of the calls to 1978, from a baseball or football broadcast playing in the background. I don’t know when the calls started or ended, they apparently went on for years.

AFAIK all the calls were made to the Tube Bar, with the exception of one call made to Red at home. His wife answers, and after asking who was calling (“Bob Marino”/“Barbarino”) she hands the phone to Red, to whom the caller exclaims, “Will you get down here! The bar’s on fire!”, sending Red into his usual repertoire of threats and curses.

In New Jersey up until the mid 70s it was illegal for single women to enter bars unescorted the reasoning be that it would reduce sexual assault. After the law was reversed Red kept his place male only. As a westcoaster he seems like a throwback to long forgotten times.

Pre-internet the tapes were an underground yet popular item.

One time, the caller asked for a (fake of course) female name. Red replied, “There’s no women in the Tube Bar, we have no ballroom”. We thought at first he said “poolroom”, implying Red’s idea of a romantic night out involved shooting a few games.

My local Detroit radio show(Drew and Mike in the morning) used to call Chicago bars during the hockey playoffs and ask for, “Belfourblows. Ed Belfourblows.”

Ed Belfour was the Blackhawks goalie at the time.

They definitely got a number of diner workers and bar workers to call it out. Mostly fails, of course, but a few hits.

Hey, I was in middle school and this stuff made me laugh.

Last name Jass. First name Hugh.

My personal favourite.

I like the one where Bart does the call, then identifies himself as Jimbo. “As usual, a knife wielding maniac has shown us the way”.

I was in a bowling alley in the 1990’s and an apparently naive employee got on the intercom announcing a phone call for “Mike Hunt.” :laughing:
Someone yanked the microphone away from them rather quickly…

In 1993, the Washington Post did an article about the Simpsons’ ripoff, I mean ‘homage’ to the Tube Bar tapes.

At Christmas 2009, the ever-present Heywood surfaced again, this time in an article published by the Davenport, Iowa, Quad-City Times about Christmas dinners served to the needy at Father’s Conroy’s Vineyard of Hope. The original on-line version of the article opened with the following paragraphs:

Cold seeped through heavy clothing as Haywood Jablomie dug into a meal of turkey and trimmings during Sister Ludmilla Benda’s Christmas Day dinner at Father’s Conroy’s Vineyard of Hope, 411 Pershing Ave., Davenport.