I know a couple of people - one of either sex, who are currently using the local “Westword” newspaper classifieds to enlarge their dating pool. “Kim” placed an ad, and is actually meeting some interesting, quality men, though no keepers yet. “Joe” was answering ads for a while, and has dated one lady - a doctor - for several months. He also said he met alot of nice, sincere people. I’ll point out that both Kim & Joe are attractive, professional people (ages 33 and 43) who have wide circles of friends and busy, interesting lives.
There seems to be such a stigma about meeting people this way - that only weirdos, loners and undesirables “need” to advertise for dates. According to my friends’ experiences, this doesn’t appear to be the case. Were I unattached (I’m not), I think I would try this avenue too. But I also think I would feel funny about telling people I was using the classifieds for dates!
So what is the general opinion/experiences with this?
Found my fiancee through http://www.one-and-only.com - this plug not paid for, I’m just a satisfied client. Granted, maybe we fluked out, but you never know.
Just curious - when asked how you met, do you tell all & sundry the truth? Joe tells people they met at Goodfriends - a popular bar-restaurant here in Denver. Which is technicnally the truth.
I met my boyfriend through http://www.love@aol.com in February of this year and I honestly have to say I lucked out. Before I met him I did meet a few weird ones and maybe one nice one but I never clicked with them. When I met the current boyfriend we clicked instantly and just started out slow and out relationship has just gotten better since. Incidently when people do ask how I met him I tell them the truth. I have gotten a few rude remarks but for the most part after I explain how we went about meeting they usually warm up to the idea of meeting someone on line.
I’ve tried a few Internet free personals websites, but seem either to attract those like 2,000 miles away, some who resemble lady truck drivers, a couple of genuine basket cases, 2 who were promoting their personal porn sites, 1 transvestite, and several from Russia who were not only far to plain looking for me but interested in getting to the States.
I’ll try again but this time I’ll have a current picture scanned and probably use Love AOL.
I met my SO through an ad I had placed on Yahoo Personals. He’s the best thing that ever happened to me.
I had originally moved out-of-state to be with someone who then moved on to the next flavor-of-the-week (long story) and I was totally at a loss as to how to meet people here. The personals seemed to be the best alternative to hanging out in bars, something I never do anyway. 6-7 weeks after placing the ad, I met my SO and we’ve been together ever since.
There really aren’t that many good places to meet nice people. At least with ads, you find out a little about somebody and can exchange email almost indefinitely or at least until you’re sure this person is someone you’d like to meet in person. Of course, you have to wade through the ads of people looking for a cheap thrill or to cheat on their spouses. And be very, very careful about who you give your personal information to as well!!
Good luck, Serendipity, I hope you find a nice person soon.
I used both. I have to admit that I never got a decent date either way, but at least I got dates. I have a lot of stories to tell, but I’m at work right now, so I won’t here and now.
The problem is that I didn’t meet anyone at school (overwhelmingly male) or social situations. My friends never seemed to know any single women who were “right” for me. I never met folks at bars or clubs (but, as I’ve admitted before, I am apparently unaware of flirting). Matchmaking services (almost no one uses computers in the old sense. I suspect few ever did) and classified ads seemed like at least a way to make an effort. I did go out with a lot of people. I ended up dating people I met THROUGH the people I was “set up” with. So it wasn’t a loss.
I know people who dated using the same means. They were not, by any means, “losers”. Anyone who says that only losers use such services has never been in a situation where they needed them – and no, I don’t think the one implies the other. My advice: Use whatever means are available to you to increase your chances of finding an appropriate mate, or at least an evening out.
“http://www.one-and-only.com”
Oh, yeah my neighbor used them. The guys were all weirdos eventually. You know something about that site? They don’t date their ads! Some of the ads are really really old. As a matter of fact, they don’t delete those either.
About 13 years ago, I tried Matchmaker International. Boy, did they suck! You fill out a questionaire of your likes and dislikes. There’s also a place where you list your specific dislikes. I put down that I wanted a non-smoking woman without children (the last, I’ve changed on). THE FIRST THREE WOMEN HAD KIDS AND SMOKED!!! Needless to say (but obviously not) I was pissed. The next three never replied. The agency sent out a notice to each person about the other and it was up to them to make the meeting arrangements. One woman kept asking me what I looked like. We met at a neutral place (food court at the mall). We agreed to meet again, but she said she had to go to Atlanta to visit her ailing sister. That night I saw her at the mall again. The look on her face was worth being stood up. As I passed her, I asked her how sister was and kept walking. I cancelled the rest of my membership (5 remaining out of 12 referrals) and chalked the money lost ($650) as a life lesson. I met my wife through mutual friends and have been happily married for 5-1/2 years.
I have and I will continue to hit the ads to meet new people.
I haven’t met anyone I really click with yet, but I have made some new friends along the way. I have a very active social life, but I am just not meeting the right people. The personal ads supplementthat quite nicely.
That’s a valid criticism; some of the ads ARE really old, and you sort of have to guess using the ad numbers. Also, any ad that reads “I just got back from the Gulf War” is probably no good.
Like I said, I got lucky.
Dating is a lottery-type exercise; any person you date will probably NOT be your One and Only. Consequenty, the best strategy is to
A) Accept that fact and deal with most of your dates not being huge successes, and
B) Maximizing your exposure (no, not THAT kind of exposure) to potential mates.
If a computer dating service increases potential-mate-contact by X, it can’t hurt your chances. You might not meet anyone, but you might not meet anyone at Lucky O’Drinky’s saloon, either.
See–look, I did a search instead of starting a whole new thread :pats self on back: I was wondering if anyone has had luck w/ the personals.
I noticed that lately I’ve been taking more than just a passing glance at them. I’m sure that some of you have noticed a trend–I seem to be overly obsessed with getting a date. I just thought I’d clear that up before I see a pit thread dedicated to how one-tracked my posts have become.
It’s just that I’ve recently moved and my social life kinda sucks. Though I had fun tonight–I went out to a music club. I’m not posting drunk, tipsy, or even buzzed. Let’s just say I’m “feelin fine.”
I have delved headlong into the world of Internet personals. Three dates in a little over a month. I am doing fewer and fewer dumb things each time and my new goal, Project: Second Date, may come to fruition within, oh, the calendar year?
There are people who met on this forum & got married. Imagine that!
one&only: I don’t like them, they don’t date their ads, some of the ads are way old & you don’t know that.
match.com: better. They could date the ads too, but at least they let you know if a member has come back to check their messages.
Yahoo Personals: about the same as match.com, same people in the database, but cheaper (about five bucks)
craigslist: my friend put an ad there & got 50 emails from guys in two hours. But she didn’t answer any of them.
I just like to look at who is there from my city. I haven’t responded to any ads. I come from a pretty small city so I know some of the women posted on them already.
Dread Pirate Jimbo and I met on Love@aol, and we’re going to be married in August of this year. I looked at the computer dating thing as practice dating; like anything else, the more I dated, the better I got at it. We do tell people how we met; I don’t see any shame in it at all; IMO, meeting someone as a drunk pick-up would be a lot more shameful than responding to his ad because he sounded compatible to me.
Well, I’m trying it, but I hope I start to get the luck that other posters have had. My profile’s been on <certain on-line dating service that I will not name here> for three weeks, and a grand total of 10 people have looked at it. I’ve sent e-mails to a number of my “matches,” and none of them have replied. I did get a response of sorts from one woman, though–she blocked my profile. How sweet of her :rolleyes:
I also have the same gripe that Mr. Blue Sky had about matches. The way my service works, you put in an age and height range, and no-one outside that range will appear. So, for example, if you specify a match of 5-foot-4 to 5-foot-11, and an otherwise perfect match who’s 5-foot-3 is on the service, she won’t appear. Yeah, I could specify “any height,” but it’s a strange way to make a match, as if height was the most important thing you were looking for in a partner. But, more to the point, more than one of my “100% matches” are looking for someone who’s never been married! Which is a shame as I’m divorced, and said so in my profile. You would think that would be slightly more important than whether I was 6-foot-2.
But I live in hope, and I have paid for more than two more months on the service. Come on women, I’m out there…
