anyone wanna help out a newbie?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Hi everyone :slight_smile:

I have been lurking here for some time now, and have noticed that you guys like helping people out. So, here is a request for help.

In my Systems Design class, we were just given a new project.

As you can see, I have to interview someone who works in some kind of e-business that isn’t retail, and as I live in a relatively small town, there aren’t any businesses like that around here (that I know of anyway).

So what I need is to find someone who is in this type of field to interview online or over the phone. The company does not have to be strictly online. Even if your company offers only some of its services online, and even if you are not involved in the online end of it, you are a candidate. I just need to ask questions about different business requirements, customer requirements, etc.

I haven’t picked an industry yet, so anything is possible.

So which of you intelligent, witty, savvy group wants to help a newbie out? :smiley:

pretty, pretty please with cherries on top?

Katie

2

Well, I can’t do a darn thing to help you in your endeavor, but let me be the first to extend you a hearty welcome to these parts and to remind you the the rookies have to buy the doughnuts.
:smiley:

3

why thank you , poohpah!
I love your username!

Katie

p.s. the doughnuts are on their way!

4

I’d help you if I could, sweetie, but I can’t so I won’t.

However, welcome to the board! I hope your stay here is as much fun for you as mine has been for me.

Scotti

5

Step into my parlor, said the spider to the fly… We could make this a mutually advantageous relationship.

6

I’ll help you out, if I can. My email is in my profile, get in touch with me.

7

Well, I work for an Incredibly Big Monstrosity, which invented the term eBusiness. We do a goodly amount of online stuff, both retail and not. I’d be happy to help if you’d like.

8

No! He’s (she’s?) MINE!

Think of it–being in on the ground floor of a new e-business. Your paper would have so much more deoth than one written about some EXISTING business!

[sub]let’s see how big a sucker he is![/sub]

I’ll throw in stock options!

9

Hi Katie, welcome to SDMB.

I might be able to help you out in a pinch, but honestly I don’t think the business my company is in would be the type you’d be looking for. My company is a wholesale distributor, and I do a large portion of our web development along with other programming related tasks. We are primarily a brick-and-mortar business, with web ordering as a selling point, but it accounts for less than 1% of sales, and the actual look of our site it that of an unpolished retailer. The vast majority of our catalog doesn’t even have pictures or plain English descriptions (I don’t have time or product knowledge to do that kind of work and no one here wants to takes ownership of the project). I suspect you’d want to look at something a little more flashy.

10

Wow, you got a bunch of responses while I was typing. Feel free to ignore me then.

dropzone: Last time I checked, Katie was a girl’s name, but I could be wrong. I doubt the porn business is what she was looking for, though. Then again, I’ve been wrong before.

11

Go to http://www.xap.com, check the company info and stuff at the bottom. I think it’d qualify. Just email anybody at the company - it’s a pretty laid back group.

12

So I neglected to read her sig. You have neglected to read my thread, where I tell how I am not getting into pornography, but am instead getting into the less-sleazy-but-less-remunerative sleazy occult biz.

So there.

Anyway, with this crowd I wouldn’t put any money on someone calling theirself “Katie” actually being a female.

13

Hi spedmonk

I could help except for the fact that I’m incredibly self-involved and I really don’t want to.

Bite me, newbie.

I’m just kidding about that “bite me, newbie” thing. And about not wanting to help. Truth is I don’t think I can help you. AT&T does do e-business, but I’m not exactly sure what the hell my job is around here (and I’ve been here over a year!) so I doubt I can answer questions about it.

Anyway, welcome aboard.

14

Guilty as charged. I backed away from the thread immediately when the title came up. Please don’t put a curse on me.

That may be, but you’ll hardly endear yourself to her using male pronouns if she is indeed female, as we are all hoping.

15

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by mrblue92 *
**

This is starting to look like one of Coldfire’s Pit threads, but you didn’t even read the <sniff> TITLE!

Valid point.

So, spedmonk, are you going to back up your claims to femininity with nude photos? Since I’m not in the porn business, maybe you could sent them to mrblue92. :devilish ;0 :

16

Well, you know, some of us are actually trying to help because we want to help. Not so we’ll get nude photos. But because we want to assist the newbie with her project. Because we like to help. Because helping others is what life’s all about.
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See how self-sacrificing I am? See how noble and altruistic? I should get some nude photos as a reward. :slight_smile:

17

WOW, lots of replys, you guys are great! :smiley:

first, I would like to clear up some confusion
[LIST=1]
[li]yes, I am a girl[/li][li]no, I’m not going to do a porn site, sorry dropzone ;)[/li][li]there will be NO NUDIE PICS!!![/li][/LIST=1]

I really appreciate all of the offers, suggestions, and welcomes, even the dirty-minded ones.

mouthbreather, I sent you an email

Necros, I’m assuming you mean IBM, as in International Business Machines. That could definitely work, if I concentrated on just one division. What division are you in?

Crunchy Frog, I totally thought you were serious when I read the first part of your post and LMAO when I scrolled down and saw the rest

mrblue92, I appreciate the offer, but I can’t do a retail site. Thanks anyways!

Scotticher, Thanks for the welcome!

KKBattousai, I’ll check out that site. Thanks!

dropzone, I really don’t think the prof. would appreciate a sleazy business, but thank you for the offer. Besides, its a pretend company.

There, I think I got everybody!
Thank you so much you guys!

Katie

18

I read it, but too quickly to see the “not”. Hey, at least I admit it.

Oh sure, really make me the bad guy now.

Well, no, it’s not a retail site, it’s a wholesale distribution site. It just so happens that the actual transactional portion strongly resembles a retail site because we market to businesses. A large number of e-businesses use the “shopping basket” approach. But all the same, since you’ve got some others here who might be more interesting, you’re probably better off interviewing them anyway.

Hope to see you around the boards for more than just schoolwork.

19

I don’t know shit from shinola about a website (other than how to type in the address of one), but I did want to welcome you to the SDMB!

Nice name: two of my favorite posters here are named Kathi (Hi, Guinastasia!) and Kathryn (I adore you, Medea’s Child!), so you’re in good company.

Good luck with your project–wish I knew enough to even begin to help you. But I think I speak for others in asking you to keep us posted on how it goes.

20

BTW - spedmonk - as a female newbie, you must first be examined and pass a physical.

And as you can see in this thread (my post is towards the bottom on page one) and in this other thread nude pictures are a necessity. I’m sure I’ve told the newbies in other threads that they need to send me their nude pix (and somewhere is the link to the pix I sent Shayna, have no idea where though). Anyway, this is nothing new or personal.

We just need to see your nekkid body.

Them’s be the rules. I don’t make them up. :smiley:

BTW - you don’t have to feel obligated to post to the Newbie Check-In thread. It’s old and doesn’t need to be brought back. In fact, I think it’s so old, it’s under my original username of BratMan007.