Great minds and all that, eh, Rosewater? 
Yes, I suppose so.
Anyway, I think the OP was more pointing out a strangely worded headline, rather thatn anything in particular about the story.
Just tie 'em up with Duck Tape and there won’t be any more problem.
And of course there’s a song for the occasion:
Why a duck?
Obviously 'cause the Lord loves 'em.
Personally, I think anyone whose quack doesn’t echo should be deported.