Apes of Wrath!

Saturday, October 23. 5:05pm The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. Actually pretty damn cool. I wish I had tuned in when it started. Oh well. It’ll be on then again. Then, begins the Fest.

24 hours. All five movies. Really pissed off monkeys.

The Apes of Wrath!

8:00 PM/EST Planet of the Apes (I)

10:20 PM/EST Beneath the Planet of the Apes (II)

12:20 AM/EST Escape from the Planet of the Apes (III)

1:20 AM/EST *Conquest of the Planet of the Apes *(IV)

3:05 AM/EST Battle for the Planet of the Apes (V)

And then it all starts over again with the repeats, but the red-eye showing of Battle will be the only time it’s aired this marathon.

We start out with the space-travellin astronaut guy goin’ through space and crash landing on an alien planet, and from there we find out it’s ruled by DAMN DIRTY APES! Our hero befriends two scientists and forces them to recognize their past as our hero discovers his future:


Then, we discover mutant humans living in Grand Central Station -no surprise there :rimshot:- with telepathic powers, worshipping the atomic warhead that destroyed their world. They fear the apes’ latest military movements and so Charleton Heston is caught in the middle and imprisoned by the humans. Look for the climactic battle deep within the bowels of the planet.

Cornelius and Zira flee the planet of the Apes and travel back in time to modern day Los Angeles. In discovering the persecution similar to what Charleton Heston faced in their world, they find the origins of the ‘stream of events that will shape their world.’

In the near future, dogs and cats have been wiped out by plague and apes have been domesticated and turned into work slaves. Then comes Caesar, son of Cornelius and Zira, a super intelligent ape from the future leads a spectacular revolt of the monkey butlers against their human masters.

Set in the year 2670, after conquering the humans, Caesar leads the superior race of apes who live above ground and attempts to keep the peace between apes and humans who live beneath the earth. General Aldo has a different perspective and tries to cause a civil war between the apes. Meanwhile, other humans learn of the ape city and decide to take back civilization for mankind.

The Apes of Wrath!!!

But do fans of the five movies consider the TV series canon? It has Roddy McDowall after all!

On July 4th, 1974, not long after the fifth movie came out, I saw all five in sequence right in the movie theater! Paid once, it started at 10:00AM, and ended after 6:00PM. There were short breaks in between films, and in addition to the usual concessions, there were bananas for sale in the lobby. It was actually the first time I had seen any of the films. That’s a long time to have one’s butt in a theater seat, but it was an interesting experience

I told an old girlfriend I wanted the Planet of the Apes movies on video for Christmas. She thought I was joking and gave me a watch instead. It was nice, but I really wanted the Planet of the Apes. :slight_smile:


On four right now. Going strong. Had two bags of popcorn, a granola, and a coke (it’s all we had) around 1 and it stayed for part of 2.

Three was kind of neat; the first half was a romantic comedy.

Four’s on. I should pay more attention. I’m thinkin I like the first two better. The revolt has just started.

On July 4, 1974, shortly after the fifth movie came out, a local theater showed all five movies in sequence, for the price of a single ticket. The marathon started at 10:00AM and went until ? , with short breaks between the films. I’d never even seen the first movie, so it was kind of cool to plant my butt in a seat for that long. The concession stand, in addition to the usual candy and popcorn, was selling bananas!

Get your stinkin’ paws off of me, you damn dirty apes!
Best line ever in a sci-fi based on human/monkey reverse interaction.
Second is:

I loathe bananas.

Yes, but what do you think of bandanas?

If we are doing quotes:

Cornelius: But that would mean the Sacred Scrolls aren’t worth the parchment they are printed on!

Zira: Well, maybe they aren’t!

Cornelius:Oh no, you aren’t getting me into that argument!

Don’t forget the inquiry, where the monkey judges sat in the classic pose of “Hear no evil, See no evil, Say no evil” because of Taylor’s heresy.

Taylor was one big dummy.

The apes speak English with a British lilt (except for the gorillas, who speak Amerikun).

They have names like Zera, Cornelius, and Julius.

There are humans all around.

And yet the dude keeps insisting he’s from another planet!

Also, Nova is clearly every man’s dream. A beautiful, half-naked woman who can’t speak and does everything her man tells her do. I guess she makes a great consolation prize for a man stranded in a madhouse.

Damn you all to hell for making the movie so bad but entertaining nonetheless.

Why are you guys going on and on about a bunch of 5/4 creatures? Sure they’re large, but they don’t even untap during their controller’s next untap phase!

It’s over. What a fun ride. One and two were the best, in my opinion. Third was funny but the last third started to drag on, and the last two were kind of good but really went downhill.

Five left me confused. In 1 and 2, Ape City and the Forbidden Zone were by New York City, but at the end it seems like Ape City was based around LA instead. What gives?

The actions of the future ape’s baby (who was now in the past/present) changed the future probabilities.

So, the future of Movie 5, Movie 1, which was also it’s past, now never happened.

At least that’s how my brother and I hashed it out way back then. Then, the TV series started and we felt as tho our reasonings were justified.

Ah, the TV series. I’ll have to start on those sometime.

I guess the pivotal moment in the history of the man-ape relationship was in 5 when Caesar decided to free the humans and work towards a co-existence. Assuming that did not happen, how then would the end of four and beginning of five have led into 1 and 2, when humans are savages that live in the jungles and the Earth is destroyed?

Have the apes brutally put down the humans, causing some to retreat into the underground society, where enough technology survives for them to plan a nuclear attack which fails in their objectives.

The apes make laws as strong as religion concerning such things.

Underground humans, having suffered bitter defeat, grow more psychotic as they inbreed.

Surface humans still leave a problem, tho. Why would they become mute savages? I think language would have still survived even after hundreds of years. Oh well…

I’ve seen the first three movies many times each.
I’ve seen the fourth movie once or twice.
I’ve never seen the fifth.

Do they ever show what led up to the nuclear war, thus creating the Forbidden Zone of the first movie?

I agree. I suggest Phantom Centaurs instead. I mean, get with the times!