I am not paying much attention to the TV right now. But every now and then I glance over. It’s Barbara Walters’ interview with the wife of the late Steve Irwin.
I’ve never watched Walters’ show before. Is it always like this?
It’s making me laugh at Steve Irwins poor wife. And subsequent to this, and because of this, it’s making me hate myself.
But, I mean, holy cow, its like the show conspires to use every hokey directing technique to present itself as self-parody. Without meaning to. Which makes it even better self-parody, in a way.
::checks list of evil people currently living, faxed from Uncle Lucy yesterday::
Actually, Frylock, you’re not significantly evil–only 12.45%, according to your records. Barbara Walters, however, is pretty much pure, unadulterated, goat-fucking, baby-eating, kitten-slapping evil.
In my cold-induced, slightly fevered state, I first read that OP line as “It’s Barbara Walters’ interview with the late Steve Irwin” and thought to myself, Man, watching Barbara Walters channel Steve Irwin would be bizarre.
Barbara: “So what was it like when you were stung?”
Steve (via Barbara): “Cwikey, did it hurt, Babwa!”
That line is pure poetic genius. I tried to re-arrange the adverbs (isn’t that what you call a noun modifing a verb?) such as kitten-eating, baby slapping and your sentence clearly conveys the most evil. I didn’t mess with the goat because slapping or eating a goat isn’t particularly evil. I just wanted to say nice work and I’m really lucky I swallowed that gulp of coffee before I read that line
I don’t know, the lesser evil of “goat-eating” versus “goat-fucking” could be offset by the term “baby-fucking” which may just be an order of magnitude more evil than simply eating it. It’s hard to quantify, really, but it merits consideration at the very least.
I agree that that is at least a magnitude of evil greater, but pedophilia is a line I just didn’t want to cross. What about goat-slapping, kitten-fucking? Or maybe just replace goat with puppy and then all of the adverbs are interchangeable. Or maybe I’m reading WAY to much into this
Barbara WaWa’s schtick is to reduce her interview subjects to tears. She feeds off their pain and anguish. She’s like Stewie Griffin, only more three-dimensional and less gay.
I disagree. First, the baby might recover from the molestation, but the eating is clearly going to be fatal. Second, anyone who would eat a baby would probably be willing to molest, if not necessarily inclined to do so. I think I had the order right.
Don’t get me wrong. Had I watched a little more attentively, and thought about Terri seriously for too long, I would have been bawling as well.
But the glances I caught of the interview amazed me with their ability to turn this genuine example of human suffering into absolute schlock and glurge.
That’s why I laughed.
Anyone catch the penultimate episode of Tom Goes To the Mayor this season? The one where Tom’s stepson dies and he spends the last five minutes of the episode laying on the floor in the Mayor’s office for several months, crying?
There’s a connection to be made between my reaction to that episode and my reaction to my glimpses of the Walters show in question.
The idea is for comedians such as those featured in The Aristocrats to expound on the over-the-top ways in which a show-biz family can violate one another, and the family dog, on stage. Felching is mentioned as is squicking.
If Terri could barely hold herself together, perhaps it was too soon for the interview?
Barbara Walters is a horrific caricature of a human being, but I’ve seen enough of her interviews that it’s kind of like gnats buzzing around your head while you barbeque at dusk: it comes with the territoty, so you learn to tune it out.
I’ve had occasion to see the croc hunter show a number of times, and it really broke me down to see Terri Irwin, normallly unfailingly upbeat on camera in all situations, brought so low. I don’t think someone as media conscious as she is would participate in this without knowing what she was getting into, and wanting everyone to see her in that state (she gave brith on camera twice, after all), but it was still wrenchingly sad.
