Apparently it's opposite day

The BBQ Pit
1

I met my wife for lunch today. Like most Angelenos I have weird shortcuts for common routes to avoid the crazy traffic on the main streets. The route I was taking to the sushi place actually cut through a couple of residential neighborhoods.

So I get to the first stoplight and there’s a woman in a black BMW waiting for it to change from green to red. Or so I thought! Because when the light actually does change she just sits there. Traffic is streaming around her. Now, normally as an Angeleno it would be my job as driver of the car immediately behind her to lay on the horn and scream obscenities until she got a fucking clue, but … hey! … it’s a glorious sunny Friday here in L.A. and I was off to have excellent sushi with my charming wife so I just let it ride. So finally, about ten seconds later, she woke up and ambled through the light.

Now the fun starts. Because the next intersection is a four-way stop and the woman in the black BMW just blazes right through it! Not even a cursory tap on the brakes to show that she’s aware of the stop. She just rolls right on through like she’s on the 405 at 3 am!

Wow! She’s really in a hurry to get somewhere!

But no! Because the NEXT intersection is NOT a four-way stop. It’s only a two-way stop and we have right-of-way. And as I watch in mounting amazement the black BMW slows and comes to a perfect stop! She doesn’t have a stop sign and she’s stopping! After running the last stop! The mind reels. She pauses, carefully looks both ways, then very cautiously and responsibly drives forward.

Okay, at this point there are two explanations:

  1. She’s really distracted. She wasn’t paying attention at the first light and was startled enough when she realized she’d be blocking traffic that she didn’t notice the stop sign. Then when she realized she’d run a stop sign she felt hyper-guilty and stopped even though she didn’t need to.

or

  1. It’s opposite day.

Now if it’s opposite day this is pretty serious. Because I’ve been driving like all the normal rules of the road apply and if everyone is doing the opposite I could get in quite a serious accident!

Fortunately an opportunity to determine which hypothesis is correct is rapidly presenting itself. We’re headed toward another four-way stop. If she stops, I’m safe! But if she drives through it must be opposite day. Because who would be idiotic enough to blow FOUR intersections in a row? And she’s not even on the phone! Tension mounts …

… and, YES, she runs the stop sign! Sails straight through without a twitch or a glance!

Hooray! It’s opposite day! I turned right and parted company with the black BMW but all the way to the sushi place I was sure to run all the reds and stop for all the greens.

The weird thing is, a lot of other people on the road hadn’t realized it was opposite day yet either. So I laid on my horn and screamed obscenities at them … .

2

Does California have a toll free number for reporting drunks currently on the road? I’d have used it.

3

Amazing.

(Oh, and I grew up calling it “topsy turvy day.”)

4

Maybe she just has bad eyes.

I can think of a few times where I have completely missed stop signs or even stopping a block short of lights. These things have happened because the lights/stop sign setup wasn’t something I was used to.
If you are driving in an area you haven’t been in before, it is easy to make the same sort of errors that the BMW driver was making.

5

So does that mean that the Pit is for civil discourse today?

6

Yes we do, but it’s nothing more than 911, which is pointless to call from a cell phone unless you’ve brought along a book to read, since the regional dispatch centers are chronically overwhelmed with calls.

7

Uh…

8

Explanation #3

  1. She was just returning from her 4 martini breakfast plus she popped a few vicoden on the way just to take the edge off. Then I’m pretty sure she smoked a bowl or two.
9

The OPshould have mentioned it was Lindsey Lohan.

10

Whoops!

But it’s okay! It’s OPPOSITE DAY!

11

But if that’s how she normally finishes the day, and it’s opposite day, then surely it’s fine?

12

Wow, who knew my Mom moved to California and bought a Beemer?

Currently my little elderly Mom, all of 5’1" and 110 pounds, drives a honking 2006 Ford F150 extended cab truck. It’s so cuutteee watching her climb up into it. But when she gets going - it’s scary. Mom, there was a stop sign there. I didn’t see it - must be new. No, that sign has been there for the last, oh, 25 years you’ve lived out there, if not longer. [Mom voice] I. Didn’t. See. It. [/Mom voice]. Okay, you didn’t see it. shudder
Mom, you know the speed limit is 55, right? Yeahso? You just almost flattened that car. She’s driving too slow. Mom, you’re going 80. I am?? hits brakes (I begin to pray)

13

But she was on the right side of the road? That is, the left? Or,… :confused:

Yeah, MissTake, I remember clearly about 20 years ago when Grandma ceased stopping at stop signs. She only gave up the car about 18 years later. People must see a big old person boat approaching and use caution.

14

A joke from my youth:

So I am riding in the car with a friend, going to visit his brother, when we come up to a stop light, it’s red and whizzes right through it.

“What are you doing?”

“it’s ok, my brother lives in this area and he does it all the time.”

So we come up to another intersection and the light is red and again he tears right through the light.

“Holy cow! didn’t you see that, the light was red?”

“Don’t worry, like I said, my brother lives here and he does it all the time.”

So we come upon a third intersection and the light is green. Than goodness It hink, as I can’t take too much more. But to my amazment my friend stops at the green light."

“Why dont’ you go? C’mon the light is green.”

“I know, but my brother might be coming the other way.”

15

In San Diego, the LED signs up late at night urge us to report drunk drivers by calling 911. Of course, I imagine most cops in Southern California have no time to hand out DUIs right now.

The link about the drunk driver hotline seems to be broken, BTW.