April ranters bring May decanters! (April Mini-Rants Thread)

The BBQ Pit
401

I loathe automated supermarket checkout.

First off, Big Brother (actual, the syrupy voice of Big Sister) has to detect and start yapping at me the instant I walk up to the machine, demanding I show it my shopper’s fake discount card before I can even pull my wallet out. Then when I start swiping my food items, no matter how quickly I pivot to put them in a bag or on the conveyor belt, Big Sister warns me PUT THE ITEM IN THE BAG/ON THE BELT, apparently on the theory that if I don’t do that I’m getting away with something, even though the price has already been recorded by the machine. Sometimes Big Sister throws a conniption and pretends I didn’t PUT THE ITEM IN THE BAG, halts the transaction and says HELP IS ON THE WAY which really means SECURITY!!!. Transactions also get halted for obscure reasons (like daring to attempt to buy scallions) and you have to start all over again.

The only satisfaction I get is paging through the prompts on the screen real fast so I keep interrupting Big Sister, though she always gets the last word. DON’T FORGET TO TAKE YOUR RECEIPT and SALUTE THE SECURITY OFFICER ON YOUR WAY OUT.

402

Is this true, does it really say that?! If so, don’t let Walmart know because they will start having us salute the greeter on the way out. Might give them flashbacks to Korea or something. :smiley:

403

Listen up, you idiot friend of a Facebook friend who saw my status update because my real friend commented: I do not need medical advice from you. Ever. I understand that your son is autistic, and that you sincerely and wrongly believe that childhood vaccines are partly to blame. I’m sorry your child is saddled with a baffling illness and a clueless mom. But my children will continue to receive their vaccines unless there’s actually some medically valid reason not to! Yes, the baby is fussy and a bit feverish this morning, but I’ll take this versus measles, mumps, whooping cough, rubella, polio, etc.

404

The Weather Channel’s site is calling the recent snowstorm “Snowpril”. Snowpril? That sounds like a drug. Something that would have nasty side effects.

405

Ok, now I’m pissed. I had an interview and then a working interview at a clinic on consecutive Mondays. I was told I would hear something back by Friday. I did - the fact that a decision hadn’t been made yet. I wait two more Mondays, and then call back. I left a quick message with Bitchface Receptionist. The hiring gal calls me back, but I was cleaning my bathroom, so I missed the call. She didn’t leave a message, which was bit irritating. So I try back on Tuesday.

Me: “Hi, this is Suzy Smith. I called and left a message for Annie yesterday, and she called me back, but didn’t leave a message, so I still don’t know where I stand in the process. I just wanted to let her know that I’ll have my phone on me for the rest of the day.”
Bitchface Receptionist: “I GAVE her your message yesterday.”
Me: “Yes, and she called but didn’t leave a message, so I still don’t know anything.”
BR: “Well, she’s not in today.”
Me: “Oh, OK. I’ll try back later. Thank you.”

I hear nothing, so I try calling back the next week on Wednesday.

Me: “Hi, this is Suzy Smith again. I still haven’t heard back from Annie. Is she in today?”
BR: “No, she’s not here today.”
Me: “OK. Could you tell me when she’ll be in the office next?”
BR: “I’m not at liberty to discuss the schedule with you. Besides, I gave her your message.”
Me: “Well I guess I’ll try back later. Thank you.”

I hear nothing, so I try calling back today.

Me: “Hi, this is Suzy Smith. Is Annie available?”
BR: “No, she’s in surgery right now.”
Me: “Ok. Do you have any idea when she might be finished?”
BR: “No, I don’t.”
Me: “Ok. I’ll try again later. Thank you.”

For some reason, I decided to call back again later on in the afternoon. THIS time, the Nice Sweet Receptionist who seemed to like me from the very beginning answered the phone.

Me: “Hi Jane. This is Suzy Smith. Back in March, I had an interview and a working interview with you guys.”
NSR: “Oh yes, I remember you.”
Me: “Right! Well, I have been trying to get in touch with Annie for three weeks now and I can never seem to catch her at a good time. Is she available by any chance?”
NSR: “I’m not sure; let me check. … Actually she’s working on a really sick patient right now. But she says she only ever got one message from you?”
Me: “I’ve spoken to BR four times in the last three weeks, including this morning.”
NSR: “WELL. Let me make sure to get your contact information again, and I will be SURE to give Annie the message right away.”
Me: “Thank you!”

GRRRRRRRR. So not only was Bitchface a fucking rude ass bitch on the phone EVERY time I called, she hasn’t been passing along my messages!!

406

Does it have a volume button? One of the chains here has automated checkouts with a volume button that mutes the bothersome voice.

407

Like.

Also, I hope you’ve already C&P’d the above to the Facebook thread. Verbatim.

408

Road construction. Buses running about 20 minutes late. Of course, everyone is so goddamned insistent on getting on the bus instead of waiting 10 minutes for the next one that we had 18 people standing on our bus. And still the moron bus driver kept stopping and trying to tell people to “keep moving toward the back” even 2 stops after being told that there was NO room in the back.

So I got to sit (I get on at the 2nd stop) with someone’s bag constantly banging into my bad knee and someone else standing in front of me who kept trying to shift his bag right into my face throughout the entire ride.

Then I stop at the grocery store to refill my bus card and find they’ve removed every possible value except what works out to 9.16 days of rides and 18.33 days of rides charge amounts. Real fucking convenient there. What genius made that decision?

409

For the past two weeks I’ve been getting text messages asking if I want to refinance my mortgage. If I was on a pay-per-text plan I’d be really really pissed, but as it is I’m more puzzled.

I don’t have a mortgage. Our house is paid for and has been ever since we’ve owned it.

Do these morons just computer text millions of people, hoping some sucker will fall for it?

410

So last night I nearly got put in the loony bin. I was already having problems before Mr bitey happened (lithium too low + massive mood swings). In fact I was probably in a manic state when I thought it was a good idea to bring him home. So fuck my bipolar and my idiotic inability to take all my meds.
For some strange reason I have been depressed of recent. Can’t imagine why. Over the weekend this turned into suicidal ideation. I had a plan. I was going to hang myself. I told various people. My sexual assault worked took me to A&E. So after hours I. Got to have a teleconference assessment with a lovely lass. By this stage I was completely exhausted. And I convinced her I just needed to go home,feed my animals and go to bed. She agreed. I am being monitored and am hoping I don’t sink into the hang myself state again

411

Hon, you can do this. You can make it through. I don’t have bipolar, but I have been severely depressed, and dealt with sexual assault too. It’s not going to be easy, but you can get through this with time.

412

It was about 90 today here. IN APRIL. NINETY CHICKEN-PLUCKING DEGREES.

This needs to be said to idiot FoaFBF. Verbatim.

I hope you don’t take this as offensive, but…if you’re truly feeling the way you state, would a hospital stay be safer for you, perhaps? Just something to consider.

413

It was 40 and raining here. I slept under my down comforter last night. Brr.

I took two ibuprofen an hour ago and I still have menstrual cramps that feel like early labor pains. Fucking endo. OOOUUUUCCCCHHHH!

414

Hope you’re feeling better today and got some good sleep okay.

415

that is probably going to happene sooner rather than later. if they had assessed me 2 hrs earlier I would be in. my mood had cycled upwards by the time they did the risk assessment

416

Do you have someone you can call who can swing by to feed your critters while you’re being cared for? I’m halfway around the world from you, so I can’t help there, but I do sincerely hope that you get the competent care that you both need and deserve.

And, at a minimum, a good night’s sleep.

417

I was told that my cramps would be better after I had a kid: where is the complaint department, I would like to exchange this uterus as it is patently defective. Plus, with the weather this hot, I can’t even use a heating pad on it.

418

I barbecue Shaquille O’neal.

Shaq pays for George Mikan’s funeral

Sure, sure. I know what you’re thinking. How can I flame a guy for paying for someone’s funeral?

But…someone giving up a few thousand dollars when he has a few hundred million (presumably) isn’t a heroic gesture. Someone giving up a few thousand dollars when they only have a few thousand dollars is a heroic gesture; and nobody does that, ever. (This isn’t what I’m pitting).

(This is) Regardless of the cost vs. means index, making such a gesture and then appearing on national television to proclaim “Look what I did everybody!” ruins the spirit of the gesture and, at least in my estimation, makes you more of an ass than a philanthropist. Now, if the news was leaked by other channels, say the Mikan family, fine. O’neal can’t really control that (though he could admonish the family not to talk about it, I mean, if he really was making the gesture pure of heart). The news likely would have leaked anyway, and Shaq could have been a “hero” and everybody would have known about it without him appearing to be a praise seeker.

Great gesture SaqFu. I guess.

419

That would be casting pearls before swine. I had my say with IFOAFBF two years ago when Lily was getting her first shots and the MoRon sent all sorts of links to “research” “proving” that vaccines equal autism. I think my real friend comments just to stir things up. He’s goofy like that.

Today’s rant? I’m tired, and there’s a big gouge in the wood floor, and I have little cuts all over my fingers, and I have to re-wash three loads of laundry… because the big dog is a clumsy idiot. At 11 pm, he was trying to get into a corner to take a nap, and knocked over the glass-top dinette table. Glass everywhere, including in his fur. Teeny slivers like fiberglass, that attacked my fingers while I picked up the big chunks. The table is no great loss, as it was mostly used for playing cards, or a kids’ table at the holidays, or a place for clean clothes to be folded… I finally got it cleaned up after about two hours, but we all know that there are slivers hiding everywhere!

Pollyanna time: at least it was the dog (who wasn’t hurt) and not the toddler. And the clothes weren’t already folded.

420

This isn’t anything new, but I am annoyed by Live Nation fees. I believe Live Nation is a part of or partners with Ticketmaster; I’m not sure of the relationship, I just know that they have the same terrible fees that Ticketmaster is famous for.

There’s a few concerts coming up I’d like to go to. One is M83 at House of Blues where the tickets are $23, and the other is Snow Patrol at Verizon Wireless for $28. Both are fairly reasonable prices in my opinion. But those prices don’t include the added fees of $11 for M83, and $13 for Snow Patrol. That is crazy. I can basically be okay with fees of $2 or $3, but when the fees add 50% to the prices, that is just nuts. I would have been much less annoyed if the original prices were just $30 and $40 with just $3 fees. One of the reasons that Fitzgerald’s, another concert venue in Houston, is one of my favorite places is because you can buy tickets on their website, and it’s only a dollar or two added in fees.

I hope that if you buy at the box office that there aren’t fees, or at least as much, but it seems there’s no way to find out unless I physically show up there. I will be even more annoyed if I go through the hassle of going downtown and parking and the tickets still have the crazy fees added.