April showers bring...

The BBQ Pit
1

…May fucking showers, all fucking day, all fucking night, for the past 6 weekends, for every fucking day from now to the end of fucking eternity.

I’m happy to be going away this coming weekend. Woohoo! Four day weekend! At a beach resort! I love Memorial Day! The barbeques (all washed out), the walks on the beach (pissed on by the All-Loving God of cold piss), shopping (getting soaked under awnings as other shoppers fiddle with umbrellas). And with any luck, temperatures may actually break 50, though this seems unlikely.

What the fuck is up with this? It’s late May, for Og’s sake. We’re supposed to be experiencing sunny days in the 70s and 80s. Shorts. T-shirts. Sandals. Why in the holy name of God-damn should I be expected to wear a fucking parka?

Checking weather.com, Reykjavik, Iceland is experiencing comperable temperatures, but at least they have sun. Every day this week.

Let’s review: This weekend I’m going on a summer beach vacation, and I’d be better off going to FUCKING ICELAND!

I blame the Bush administration.

2

Bastard. As a read this, a big gust of wind blew up outside, and I heard that familiar pitter-patter on the window…

You are clearly a Rain God.

3

Yeah, but you’re in England. Sucky weather is expected. I live in New England. We’re supposed to have the newer, better weather.

4

I should not need my winter coat when it is almost June. IT’S ALMOST JUNE! I really wanted nice weather this weekend, as fiance and his parents are coming to visit (both sets of parents meeting each other for the first time) and we wanted to show them outdoor New Hampshire-y stuff. They probably wont’ be here again until the wedding (next May), so they’re going to see our wedding site soaked with rain and mud. Nice.

Also, this weather makes the T smell musty - in that nasty, swampy basement sort of way. The basement of our building is flooded, so I have to carry trash all the way around the buildings (about 2 blocks), instead of just through the back to the dumpster.

This weather makes me glad I’m moving to St. Louis in August (I’m glad anyway b/c I’ll be with my fiance, but until this week, I wasn’t looking forward to the heat).

5

Dear Weather Demons,

Fuck you fucking fucks. With a rusty jackhammer.

My roommate had dug out her winter coat again. I was wishing I’d worn a scarf on my way to the T this morning.

This is just sick and wrong. I want to wear my cute sandals!

6

Sunny & 85 in Denver. Thought you’d like to know.

7

Fucko off. May you develop large open bleeding sores on your dick.

BadBadRubberPiggy, dump your fiance and I’ll take you away to Hawaii. Now. I can be over in 20 minutes. 75 if I take the T. There’ll just be a slight delay as the plane is de-iced.

In GODDAM MAY!

8

I got your hot ‘n dry hanging right here… right next to my panting tongue and a Gulf Coast High Pressure Zone. Sun is all we’ve seen in May, sun, cracks in the dirt and overworked sprinklers. It was 96 yesterday and will continue to heat up for three more months. Great fuckin’ big ol’ “Uuuugggghhhhh.”

9

Sure, lieu, rub it in.

10

I don’t mind rain. Rain shuts dogs up.

11

You can have the rusty jackhammer after the weather demons are done with it, you heartless bastish Spaniard. Spanish bastard. Whatever. You suck.

Now, my boss has decided we need the air conditioning on at work! And me without my parka…

12

I’m with you, tdn…it’s getting scary. No proper sun for weeks now. What’s going on?

13

I must admit that just once I’d love to hear a dog gargle.

14

Round here, April showers bring… Bindweed.
The stuff is unkillable.

AAAAARRRRGGHHH!

15

I think that those in the field of weather call it “November.” You made plans for Thanksgiving yet? Got all your Christmas shopping done?

Currently in Fargo, ND: 10 degrees warmer than here.

16

Oh, good! Then my birthday’s coming up. (November 30). I’ve asked for an iPod mini, I don’t have to wait quite as long as I thought!

17

I just watched “The Day After Tomorrow” a couple days ago. I like wicked weather just a little less now.

18

Yeah, same here. Even earlier and hotter than usual. The meteorologists are saying it’s gonna be a bad one…

19

Oh very yes. Not only has it been cloudy and rainy for the past month, but temperatures have been way below normal. It’s been struggling to hit 60 degrees most days. Many trees have not fully leafed out yet.
I lit a fire in the woodstove last night. Last night was pelting rain and high winds with temperatures in the mid-40’s. Then I checked the weather and they said that over the next two days, the weather was going to * turn * nasty. Nice nor’easter moving up the coast. Our second or third one this spring (and I use the word ‘spring’ advisedly). It’s now 43 degrees and raining. The weather forecast for the next five days and four nights reads:
rain, rain, rain, rain, rain likely, rain likely, chance rain, chance rain, chance rain. Temperatures will slowly rise towards 65 degrees on Saturday.

Crap. I may take a vacation in the Scottish Highlands for the sun.

20

I left a brand new tiny little flowering plant by the window overnight, and it may die now. :frowning: It got pretty cold and it wasn’t ready to deal with the cold.