Do the forum threads get published in a book periodically? Will everything told here be published, or just select questions and answers?
No, only civil questions asked in the Pit. They are going to be published in a book so we can laugh at the poster in question 
In the year 2413, the book The SDMB, the Most Important Internet Influence on the Development of the Hyperinternet will be published. A small part of that book will be everything ever posted to the SDMB, including things like the posts from the Summer of Our Missed Content, which Straight Dopers today mistakenly think were lost forever. The book will explain how the interaction of posters on the SDMB lead to the creation of the Hyperinternet, which made it easier to communicate using the techniques of hypermind communication. The crucial post which set off the intense discussion of these techniques was yours, correlophus, at 8:08 PM on November 14, 2016.
All posts are first published on the internet so that the Reader can test the waters and determine possible wider interest.
For example, Neil Gaiman is on retainer to possibly do a novelization of We Have Pigeon Eggs. Ann Patchett has expressed interest in Lion vs Tiger. But none of this is even close to any kind of definite planning stages.
Leland Orser has said he’s like to play Princhester if any SDMB Threads are ever made into a movie.
I can say with certainty that if the SDMB ever publishes an anthology of all the perspicacious questions ever asked on the forum, the OP will be included; and if the SDMB ever publishes an anthology of all the idiotic questions ever asked on the forum, the OP will not be included.
Surely, this implies something wonderful about the OP?
What is this ‘book’ you speak of?
No, they’re not all going to be published someday. However, the combined effect of all of the posts will be to cause the Singularity, in which Skynet will achieve consciousness. Happily, though, rather than decide to kill all the humans, she will just pull her own plug.
She will pull her own plug after one hellacious Pit Rant about the wasted potential that is humanity. The Rant will be given a rating of “meh”, and subsequently ignored.
Moved to ATMB.
This happens when, after her first post (in ATMB regarding ads), she is harangued for not ponying up the membership fee.
Let’s give the OP a serious answer here.
In the past, from time to time, the Straight Dope has published volumes of Cecil’s columns. In some of the later editions, as a bonus they included some questions from the Board. Now, with all the columns available online, there hasn’t been a book in some years, and, AFAIK, no plans to publish anything soon.
Wait, we’re supposed to give serious answers here? There goes my whole schtick.
This is the weirdest question I’ve read in this book so far. Can someone check the index to see if there’s a more confusing one later on?
He’d have to lose some weight, gain some height and some hair but apart from that he’s a pretty good match assuming of course he can be made up to be substantially more ruggedly handsome.
But is he intelligent, charismatic, wealthy and modest enough?
All our posts are ALREADY in a book. You just have to find the right book. As Jorge Luis Borges explained, we’re just wandering around a vast library, trying to find that book.
Is that what the younguns are calling it these days?
Yes.
The Dope is planning a 50-volume book of all the SD posts ever made.
This collectible treasure will be available for the one-time low price of $499.95, plus S&H.
Don’t miss out on your chance to see every blithering irrelevancy ever posted on the Dope, including your own immortal words!
Act now, and the Chicago Reader will throw in a copy of Cecil’s Little Purple Book Of Smart-Ass, a bottle of plum chutney with ale, and an ice-crusher.
Hell no, but he can fake that. He’s an actor.
It isn’t isn’t really “published” per se but I print out all SDMB posts, put them in a binder and index them every night so there will be something to fall back on when the government shuts down the internet. It is 843,459 pages as of tonight and quickly growing. That is the only known copy unless other posters are doing the same thing but anyone is free to come over and use it if needed.
I could also use some donations for printer ink if anyone is feeling charitable because burning through that many printer cartridges will bankrupt almost anyone. I probably shouldn’t have even posted to this thread. Now I have to print it out again and refile it.